Forgiveness...for the abusers?
Well either way, what ends up happening is Someone-Who-Is-Not-The-Perp goes to jail. That's not the way it's supposed to go.Originally posted by andrew76:
No one said anything about killing the perp that is what you said,having the perp buy their own bullet and taking them out to the woods and telling them to run could mean almost anything what if a certain person wanted to have some fun with the perp not necessarily what you referred to but rather target practice.
A dangerous way of thinking. I get this sort of explanation a lot when dealing with people who study the martial arts because they think they can use it to defend themselves. Much of the time, what they try to call self-defense is actually assault, but nevermind that. Most of these people, when asked, will tell you that if they are ever "attacked", then it is necessary often to seriously injure or even kill the attacker, and consequences be damned. The relevant pearl is, "better to be judged by twelve (jurors) than be carried by six (pallbearers)". What these people fail to realize is, it isn't that black and white, ever. You can, in fact, choose to be neither judged by 12 nor carried by 6. But these people want to look and sound macho; pay them no mind. The moral of the story: there's more than one way to stop a "dangerous" person from hurting anyone. Volunteering for prison in exchange for saving lives can sound noble - but if you understand that you can save those same lives without volunteering for prison, then the former is no longer noble, but ridiculous.Originally posted by andrew76:
Also it all depends on how you classify "Winning" that could mean almost anything too especially if you have info that could make your mind up no matter what evidence is presented to you. if other lives are in "jeopardy" then action must be taken before those lives are placed in "harms way" if you have been told something by someone and that info classifies as pertinent info in regards to the mission at hand then you take that info and digest it and put it to use as it may lay no matter what the circumstances are surrounding it if it helps "Win the battle" and your still left standing afterward even if that means digging a grave at least you know that the person you just put in the ground won't ever harm another "soul" and you won't have to worry and carry that burden anymore inside of you knowing that info and having to classify the person as an "iminent threat to loss of life with collateral damage"
Dead men feel nothing. No shame, no guilt, no pain. They don't care who remembers them, they don't care about post-mortem press coverage, they don't care what sort of lists they used to be on, or the families or victims they leave behind. They don't care about anything. They're dead. They don't have eyes to see the way other people look at them, nor ears to hear what living people say about them.Originally posted by andrew76:
Why would we want the perp to dig a grave that is not what we all want from these animals they should never have that task before them.Dead men don't feel shame but they do feel pain and they will forever be who they are no matter whether dead or alive especially if they are on a list regardless of if they are brought back to life or not they are forever marked along with their grave stones
I 'forgave' one of my abusers, face to face. It was not taking blame for what he did. It was not telling him, oh it wasn't so bad. It was me telling him 'I survived what you and others did to me, and I am a good person. I am living with it. And you must live with it from the other end. I would much rather be me then you.' No 'I'm sorry I made you do this to me' or shit as that.Originally posted by shadowkid:
how can anyone forgive without somehow saying hey it wasnt that bad i forgive you ,bullshit it was that bad! forgiving implies that i somehow understand what my perp did ,i'll never understand nor do i want to. to me it almost means taking some of the blame ,you know ? like saying well maybe i shouldnt have trusted my perp so easy if i hadnt then he would not have been tempted by me. maybe he just couldnt help it ,was my innocence my fault ?i dont think so adam
Forgiveness was for me, not for him. No, he had not apologized, he probably never will. But to face him, face to face, and say 'well, you gave it your best and I am still here, and I can live with all that you put on me, and still be strong and successful', that was ME taking back power from him. I already said, no one HAS to forgive. And it does not diminish the facts of the past, or that the abuse was worst torture of my life. But what cost? It would cost me much more fear, nightmares, therapy and medicine to NOT done what I did. The 'cost' is different for each person. Please do not say that for someone to do forgiveness is stupid. I am not stupid. And I am much better since I done that, so it must be right for me.Originally posted by andrew76:
Let me ask this question to you all at what cost do survivors and victims forgive their abusers? I am not saying forgiveness is a bad thing but why forgive a person if they haven't even apologized for what they made you go thru while a child and what you have had to endure from childhood to adulthood and what we as survivors deal with on a daily basis thanks to what we went thru as someone who lived the worst by no choice of our own doing.