Forgive me! (Leosha please read.)
Hello my friends,
I am writing this thread for two reasons, the first is to apologize for a response that I had just posted recently on the thread called please don't go posted by RangerJ19. I apologize because I wrote my response directed at everyone and in hindsight I know that was not fair. That response should have only been directed toward the ones that posted high negativity toward RangerJ19. Some of the responses were appropriate and supportive. So for posting my anger toward everyone I apologize for that reason. At the time that I wrote that response I was angry because a fellow friend and victim was being pushed away and re-victimized by some of the responses made. So I responded hastily.
The other reason I am writing this thread is to tell you a little more about me and to answer the questions brought up by Leosha in his response to that post I made.
Leosha, you are right I did not read that post. I did not see what made people hear trigger so badly. If I had my way I would take all the pain on this board and send it back to hell where it came from. However as you stated while posting this question you have to realize he was asked what he did. All he was trying to do was stay honest and not hide from the mistakes he made by staying true to that honesty. True it did hurt those who read it. It did make some members very uncomfortable. And triggers were set off. Please allow me to tell you a story about this though that might shed some light in a good direction. Just recently in a group I attend a member there was talking about a sexual experience that he had and by sharing this experience it triggered another group member. At the time everyone thought it was horrible and the member that shared the experience thought he was horrible and did not want to attend group again because of how bad he felt. However later on the group member that was triggered came back and thanked the other member for sharing that sexual experience because by that triggering experience the triggered group member was able to remember certain things of his abuse experience that was causing pain in his everyday life. He said because of that experience he was able to move on and deal with some very serious issues that he could not have other wise. My point by telling this story is to show that triggers can be a good thing if they are handled properly. By the descriptions that you gave of the story I am confident that I knew enough to be able to post the things that I had with the knowledge that I had. Also I would just like to add you have made assumptions about me that are very wrong and I would like for you to stop doing so. I do not make any about you therefore I would appreciate it if you would stop making them about me. If you do not know do not assume. If you suspect or want to know something about anyone you should just come out and ask them. That way you do not cause confusion. I have never judged and never want to judge anyone hear, you clam in your post that I have. That is not my intention. I am sorry that you think I have. If I may ask what made you feel that way? You are very right when you said he was not my offender or yours and as far as we know any of the other members hear. He may not be able to answer why our perpetrators abused us but I believe he could share much more light on other questions we are seeking. I also bet he could give just as much support to all of us as you or I could. As you said I think he could be a great asset toward many things. You also asked and I quote, “Would you invite YOUR abuser here, to share in your healing process, to promote better understanding? My answer is yes if he would listen!!! God how I would love for that to happen, I would give anything for him to know how he hurt me and for him to beg for my forgiveness. I would go out of my way to see him show just one little sign of remorse and understanding to how he made me feel. You bet I would gladly want him hear so he could see fully my pain. If he would truly listen I would want him hear every day to know what he did.
You also asked, “Would you want them reading about your triggers, your flashbacks, your nightmares, your addictions, negative coping, cutting, drinking, suicidal thoughts, poor social skills, fears, loss of job opportunities, loss of relationships, psychiatric diagnoses and long term physical and mental affects of what was done to you? Would you like him, or them, to know all that about you, and know that THEY caused it? Now I answered these questions above but I just want to add wouldn't that be poetic, if he would care. The person we are talking about seemed to care and was being genuine as to why he was posting hear. I have answered your questions and hope you can do the same for me because now I have some for you. This thread is already long enough so I will post a different one to ask. I hope you will give the same courtesy as I gave you. I look forward to your reply to this and to the other thread I will post. Course I am exhausted so that thread will have to wait until tomorrow. So until then I hope you all have a great night and day.
I am writing this thread for two reasons, the first is to apologize for a response that I had just posted recently on the thread called please don't go posted by RangerJ19. I apologize because I wrote my response directed at everyone and in hindsight I know that was not fair. That response should have only been directed toward the ones that posted high negativity toward RangerJ19. Some of the responses were appropriate and supportive. So for posting my anger toward everyone I apologize for that reason. At the time that I wrote that response I was angry because a fellow friend and victim was being pushed away and re-victimized by some of the responses made. So I responded hastily.
The other reason I am writing this thread is to tell you a little more about me and to answer the questions brought up by Leosha in his response to that post I made.
Leosha, you are right I did not read that post. I did not see what made people hear trigger so badly. If I had my way I would take all the pain on this board and send it back to hell where it came from. However as you stated while posting this question you have to realize he was asked what he did. All he was trying to do was stay honest and not hide from the mistakes he made by staying true to that honesty. True it did hurt those who read it. It did make some members very uncomfortable. And triggers were set off. Please allow me to tell you a story about this though that might shed some light in a good direction. Just recently in a group I attend a member there was talking about a sexual experience that he had and by sharing this experience it triggered another group member. At the time everyone thought it was horrible and the member that shared the experience thought he was horrible and did not want to attend group again because of how bad he felt. However later on the group member that was triggered came back and thanked the other member for sharing that sexual experience because by that triggering experience the triggered group member was able to remember certain things of his abuse experience that was causing pain in his everyday life. He said because of that experience he was able to move on and deal with some very serious issues that he could not have other wise. My point by telling this story is to show that triggers can be a good thing if they are handled properly. By the descriptions that you gave of the story I am confident that I knew enough to be able to post the things that I had with the knowledge that I had. Also I would just like to add you have made assumptions about me that are very wrong and I would like for you to stop doing so. I do not make any about you therefore I would appreciate it if you would stop making them about me. If you do not know do not assume. If you suspect or want to know something about anyone you should just come out and ask them. That way you do not cause confusion. I have never judged and never want to judge anyone hear, you clam in your post that I have. That is not my intention. I am sorry that you think I have. If I may ask what made you feel that way? You are very right when you said he was not my offender or yours and as far as we know any of the other members hear. He may not be able to answer why our perpetrators abused us but I believe he could share much more light on other questions we are seeking. I also bet he could give just as much support to all of us as you or I could. As you said I think he could be a great asset toward many things. You also asked and I quote, “Would you invite YOUR abuser here, to share in your healing process, to promote better understanding? My answer is yes if he would listen!!! God how I would love for that to happen, I would give anything for him to know how he hurt me and for him to beg for my forgiveness. I would go out of my way to see him show just one little sign of remorse and understanding to how he made me feel. You bet I would gladly want him hear so he could see fully my pain. If he would truly listen I would want him hear every day to know what he did.
You also asked, “Would you want them reading about your triggers, your flashbacks, your nightmares, your addictions, negative coping, cutting, drinking, suicidal thoughts, poor social skills, fears, loss of job opportunities, loss of relationships, psychiatric diagnoses and long term physical and mental affects of what was done to you? Would you like him, or them, to know all that about you, and know that THEY caused it? Now I answered these questions above but I just want to add wouldn't that be poetic, if he would care. The person we are talking about seemed to care and was being genuine as to why he was posting hear. I have answered your questions and hope you can do the same for me because now I have some for you. This thread is already long enough so I will post a different one to ask. I hope you will give the same courtesy as I gave you. I look forward to your reply to this and to the other thread I will post. Course I am exhausted so that thread will have to wait until tomorrow. So until then I hope you all have a great night and day.