Forever Broken

I just need to let it out as it flows from my head to my hands.

9 years since I stopped fighting the pain and memories and sought therapy. I left therapy 2 years ago feeling so happy with all my progress and looking forward to life and in the last couple of months the PTSD has come on again and each week it gets more intense. Is this it? is this what I have got to look forward to? I'm living my life now forever broken patching up the cracks and never fully having relief?

I feel lonely but I don't want to bring anyone into this mess, I don't want to have to explain to someone who will never truly understand, I don't want to feel bad for having PTSD at the wrong time. Alone, broken and aging this is fucked up.
 
Hey @F.A. - I'm sorry you're feeling broken. I don't think you're broken, though. I think you have PTSD. The issue with PTSD is that it seems like it goes away, and everything's hunky dory ... And then when you least expect it it comes roaring back. It sucks.

The thing is - you beat it once. You can beat it again.
 
Hey @F.A. - I'm sorry you're feeling broken. I don't think you're broken, though. I think you have PTSD. The issue with PTSD is that it seems like it goes away, and everything's hunky dory ... And then when you least expect it it comes roaring back. It sucks.

The thing is - you beat it once. You can beat it again.
Thank you @Strangeways any encouragement helps at this moment.
 

Healing light

Registrant
It's 5 years since my diagnosis it's 9 years since my partners
Now she can be extremely well and can be triggered by an event the PTSD symptoms will resurface and she goes back to symptom management with more intensity identifying the trigger then if can be avoided ok avoid , if not she exposes herself to the trigger ( this in my eyes for ppl usually very level ) and works threw symptoms and the original event.
Theres alot of hope in recovery from cptsd symptoms no cure of course and a long journey
I wish you well in yours

Peace
HL
 
I don't know if I truly have PTSD or not - Main abuse when I was 3 was blocked out until my 30s - Lots of stuff haunts me, but I am not sure if I can really "put a finger on" what PTSD symptoms might look like for me.

FA - So sorry you are dealing with this. you must be having a difficult time.
 

BDD

Registrant
F.A.

I know how impossible getting better looks right now.
But I am here on the other side of so many desperate times to tell you it does get better.

I suffered Night Terrors weekly from 18 - 48ish.
They've been gone for 12 years!

My startle response was cranked up super high
I routinely threw things, or jab punches if I was surprised.
My husband wouldn't dare enter a room with out announcing himself well down the hall.
I'm so much calmer now.

The changes were slow and steady.
Lots of therapy
Lots of writing
Lots of talking

Please keep trying, take the gamble that it will be worth it.
Because it is.
 
2 years ago? Sounds like a lot more good days/times/memories made than this recognition of trauma - if you take action. You already recognize what. You know what worked before AND you’ve already stared simply by reaching out instead of withdrawing and dwelling. Call your T or find another it will again be better and in my experience each outbreak of the past is less low and shorter duration by acting on what worked for you. Congrats! I see progress where you currently can only see broken! You are getting better! Follow up and keep at it.
 
2 years ago? Sounds like a lot more good days/times/memories made than this recognition of trauma - if you take action. You already recognize what. You know what worked before AND you’ve already stared simply by reaching out instead of withdrawing and dwelling. Call your T or find another it will again be better and in my experience each outbreak of the past is less low and shorter duration by acting on what worked for you. Congrats! I see progress where you currently can only see broken! You are getting better! Follow up and keep at it.
Thank you for the perspective, I can't see how well I'm fighting or that I'm having progress
 
Nope when I slide back into the pit it seems I never left. Photos of laughter and smiles bring back the good progress. Also for me the dollar store bottle of bubbles is worth a ton of Rx meds. Find your childhood escape that you forgot or perhaps were denied because of the perp
 
Nope when I slide back into the pit it seems I never left. Photos of laughter and smiles bring back the good progress. Also for me the dollar store bottle of bubbles is worth a ton of Rx meds. Find your childhood escape that you forgot or perhaps were denied because of the perp
OMG what a great idea a bubble bath I haven't had that in years!
 
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