floodgate has open

[pbfurm]

I have never been able to excel in group therapy. I realize it has been a self-esteem problem. Here, I feel freer to want to share my thoughts and feelings, with a group of guys who have experienced the same traumas that I have in one form or another. There were always people who dominated the sessions, and I just got quieter. Talking online is just so great, it's "awesome" (God, I'm too old to use that expression)!

 

[roadrunner]

pbfurm,

That's an interesting observation:

There were always people who dominated the sessions, and I just got quieter.

I have posted elsewhere about my discomfort with group therapy, and perhaps one reason for my feelings about it is that I would not want to feel like I was competing for a voice, and against other survivors.

Much love,
Larry

 

[phoster]

i found that here, no one really knows the real me. there is power in that, because i can be myself without having to face anyone day to day. i agree that this is one of the best parts of coming here, being able to talk freely.

 

[markgreyblue]

"awesome" (God, I'm too old to use that expression)!

i am too - but it is marvelous to use -

37 years old - but i use it!

nice that you feel this way -

Mark

 

[shadowkid]

ibelieve that here is the only place i can be the real me,the only place where anyone knows the real me.and there is power in that.

 

[Steven Heath]

pbfurm....i was in group therapy for a few years.....i, as you, were intimidated by the dominant ones for a while....after a time, though i began to realize that group therapy was kind of a micro-world if you will....groups are made up of the people out there in the world.....some you may like and identify with.....some have nothing to do with your world and reality....after speaking a lot with my shrink about my hesitation to talk in these groups..he helped me muster the courage to talk......and engage......what i realized, for me anyway, was that some people in the group may or may not accept me for who i am....and ultimately that's okay....as long as i began liking myself and being proud of myself no matter what some in the group may feel....it's the way of the world....but, to your ppint about this site, my experience has been glorious so far...the people i have met and the acceptance, respect and love i feel here is quite unique...it's a magical place and i thank all here who i speak with for their acceptance and support....it makes me feel happy that you feel comfort here......steve

 

[pbfurm]

Thanks to all. I think the real issue is as Steven said. In the 70's there were no gay male survivor groups, so I was lumped in with people of all backgrounds and problems. Plenty of anti-gay rhetoric running from the mouths of group members. No wonder I remained silent.

 

[george of kent]

Another side of the same coin. "Here nobody knows the real me"
---
In many ways, here is where I am known better than in the real world, at least in the sense that I can talk about myself in ways that I would never dream of doing, in group or in one on one, except in a therapeutic session with a professional T or counselor.
Where is the REAL George? I'm still looking, but I get longer, better glimpses here with the brotherhood than I do just about anywhere else.
Thanks, guys.
Love, etc.