Flashbacks
Flashbacks
- Thread starterTrevor
- Start date
Grunty1967b
Registrant
Trevor, great to have you here with us, and please don't stop posting. That's what this place is for as I'm sure you've found. Why stop doing the very thing you came here for?
I've gotta run now but let you tell you, you've already hit on some key issues and asked important, big questions - questions we all ask ourselves. Heck, if we all had the answers we'd all be the therapists instead!
Stick round Trevor. I'll try and give you some more detailed responses to your posts later on tonight after I get home from work.
I've gotta run now but let you tell you, you've already hit on some key issues and asked important, big questions - questions we all ask ourselves. Heck, if we all had the answers we'd all be the therapists instead!
Stick round Trevor. I'll try and give you some more detailed responses to your posts later on tonight after I get home from work.
Grunty1967b
Registrant
Hi Trevor,
Im back again and wanted to give you my take on flashbacks. Bearing in mind Im no psychologist but just another childhood sexual assault survivor like yourself (although Im a 30 something guy). On that, I think its so great that youve arrived at this place in your life, at your young age of realising that you were abused, and whats more youre wanting to learn how to work through it all. Many people here only get to that place later on in life.
As Ive been getting stuck into my recovery, Im getting more of these flashbacks myself. As some may tell you they can be very vivid, real and overwhelming. For others it can be recalling something from earlier on in your life and they can occur with or without anxiety. Theres no set formula or system. It happens differently with each of us and each instance may happen differently within us each time it happens.
I had one just this weekend. I was walking in the park with my wife and our dogs and I saw a young boy, about 13 I guess, and what I noticed was that he was alone, yet amusing himself. He was just walking along, dragging a stick and in a world of his own.
That reminded me of me at his age. This was my flashback. I recalled how Id do that and Id often go out by myself deliberately just to get out of my abusive home. Id stay out as long as I could. I didnt have many friends I guess because I was hurting so much inside and didnt want anybody to see.
So, I stayed in my own little protective world.
I hope thats not what this boy was doing but it just reminded me of me.
That was a mild flashback but Ive had others that make me cry. Theyre all different I guess.
Im back again and wanted to give you my take on flashbacks. Bearing in mind Im no psychologist but just another childhood sexual assault survivor like yourself (although Im a 30 something guy). On that, I think its so great that youve arrived at this place in your life, at your young age of realising that you were abused, and whats more youre wanting to learn how to work through it all. Many people here only get to that place later on in life.
As Ive been getting stuck into my recovery, Im getting more of these flashbacks myself. As some may tell you they can be very vivid, real and overwhelming. For others it can be recalling something from earlier on in your life and they can occur with or without anxiety. Theres no set formula or system. It happens differently with each of us and each instance may happen differently within us each time it happens.
I had one just this weekend. I was walking in the park with my wife and our dogs and I saw a young boy, about 13 I guess, and what I noticed was that he was alone, yet amusing himself. He was just walking along, dragging a stick and in a world of his own.
That reminded me of me at his age. This was my flashback. I recalled how Id do that and Id often go out by myself deliberately just to get out of my abusive home. Id stay out as long as I could. I didnt have many friends I guess because I was hurting so much inside and didnt want anybody to see.
So, I stayed in my own little protective world.
I hope thats not what this boy was doing but it just reminded me of me.
That was a mild flashback but Ive had others that make me cry. Theyre all different I guess.
thanks. i didnt decide to get help cuz
i wanted to, i tried to off myself and they
made me go into therapy and it helps some but
i dont like talking to my therapist much so
she suggested a group like this cuz its not
face to face so, its better.
anyways. you ever have a flashback that you
can feel? like yesterday morning i had one, tho
i dont know if it was a flashback or a bad
dream but it sucked, but all day yesterday
my stomach was killing me like i got punched
or something, even tho i didnt, it felt just
like that. i asked my therapist last night
about it she said it was a body memory, whatever
the hell that is. she tried to explain it to
me but lucky for me my hour was up!
trev
i wanted to, i tried to off myself and they
made me go into therapy and it helps some but
i dont like talking to my therapist much so
she suggested a group like this cuz its not
face to face so, its better.
anyways. you ever have a flashback that you
can feel? like yesterday morning i had one, tho
i dont know if it was a flashback or a bad
dream but it sucked, but all day yesterday
my stomach was killing me like i got punched
or something, even tho i didnt, it felt just
like that. i asked my therapist last night
about it she said it was a body memory, whatever
the hell that is. she tried to explain it to
me but lucky for me my hour was up!
trev
Hey Trev,
I have had these "body memories". I think it is just memories that you feel. Like the guy who abused me sometimes would punch me and knock the wind out of me. I feel that sometimes or sometimes I'll feel a pain in other parts of my body where I was abused. Also I think my stomach aches pretty much anytime I feel any emotion.
And don't feel like you are posting too much. I know how you feel though. I'm always thinking, "nobody wants to read all my shit" but people here really do care about us.
Take care
Dale
I have had these "body memories". I think it is just memories that you feel. Like the guy who abused me sometimes would punch me and knock the wind out of me. I feel that sometimes or sometimes I'll feel a pain in other parts of my body where I was abused. Also I think my stomach aches pretty much anytime I feel any emotion.
And don't feel like you are posting too much. I know how you feel though. I'm always thinking, "nobody wants to read all my shit" but people here really do care about us.
Take care
Dale
Trevor,
I have these flashbacks at irregular intervals. Mainly it involves being able to actually feel my hand on the perp's penis when he would place it there. It is as if I am back in the same place as 40 years ago. There are no apparent triggers, it just happens at any given moment. Even now, just writing about this, I can feel the total sensation of every detail. It drives me crazy, but I just have to deal with it and move on. I guess that it will be with me forever.
I never had these until I began therapy. I guess that I had just repressed the memories.
Hang in there and learn what lessons you can from this. That is what keeps me going; realizing that somewhere in this has to be many lessons to be learned. I have at least learned one valuable thing in dealing with all this. Truth will indeed set you free, lies will destroy you and everything you love with it.
Be positive and stay the course. I don't know what else I can say but good luck in dealing with this.
I have these flashbacks at irregular intervals. Mainly it involves being able to actually feel my hand on the perp's penis when he would place it there. It is as if I am back in the same place as 40 years ago. There are no apparent triggers, it just happens at any given moment. Even now, just writing about this, I can feel the total sensation of every detail. It drives me crazy, but I just have to deal with it and move on. I guess that it will be with me forever.
I never had these until I began therapy. I guess that I had just repressed the memories.
Hang in there and learn what lessons you can from this. That is what keeps me going; realizing that somewhere in this has to be many lessons to be learned. I have at least learned one valuable thing in dealing with all this. Truth will indeed set you free, lies will destroy you and everything you love with it.
Be positive and stay the course. I don't know what else I can say but good luck in dealing with this.
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
No need to reply if you feel you have had enough, but I thought the following might be useful to you.
In flaskbacks that I have had I could see the abuser, I smelled his aftershave, I heard him, everything. It was as if I were 11 again. Very frightening.
There ARE some things you can do about flashbacks. First, try to remember if there are places or situations where you are vulnerable to them. For example, I was getting them when I was working alone in a quiet room. That was easy to fix. I just put on the Who!
If you feel a flashback starting, try not to panic and fall to pieces. Take slow deep breaths, not lots of rapid shallow ones. Place your feet flat on the floor and feel that...it's real. Same with your hands. PLace them on your PC keyboard or something else you can feel...that's real as well. I am part Native American, so I also keep an amulet around my neck that my sister made me for good luck. I know she made that recently, so I can feel that and it helps me stay in the present.
My own T doesn't like to treat individual symptoms like flashbacks. She told me at the beginning that as I made progress the flashbacks would fade. And they did. But even before they do, there are things you can do to make them less frightening.
Much love,
Larry
No need to reply if you feel you have had enough, but I thought the following might be useful to you.
In flaskbacks that I have had I could see the abuser, I smelled his aftershave, I heard him, everything. It was as if I were 11 again. Very frightening.
There ARE some things you can do about flashbacks. First, try to remember if there are places or situations where you are vulnerable to them. For example, I was getting them when I was working alone in a quiet room. That was easy to fix. I just put on the Who!
If you feel a flashback starting, try not to panic and fall to pieces. Take slow deep breaths, not lots of rapid shallow ones. Place your feet flat on the floor and feel that...it's real. Same with your hands. PLace them on your PC keyboard or something else you can feel...that's real as well. I am part Native American, so I also keep an amulet around my neck that my sister made me for good luck. I know she made that recently, so I can feel that and it helps me stay in the present.
My own T doesn't like to treat individual symptoms like flashbacks. She told me at the beginning that as I made progress the flashbacks would fade. And they did. But even before they do, there are things you can do to make them less frightening.
Much love,
Larry