flashback need help

flashback need help
C

crisispoint

Registrant
having flashback. soemwhat grounded, but keeps coming back in waves.

i remember so much now. Liiving through so much now. I know when it went wrong. I knw his frist name I know when

I can't finish this, but i've got to get it out. dont wqant to trigger anyone. please help
 
Scot,

It's over, the abuse. You can and will get through the flashback, the memories. Look at all the things around you that are different from back then. Keep yourself grounded by interacting with the present. Remember that we are all with you in spirit. You are not alone.

Joe
 
I wish I could help you, but I've never had actual flashbacks before. I can try to help you with what you learn from them, but I don't know how to do anything about them, not right now at least.
 
revisiting is awful, but keep reminding yourself that you got through the worst. you're alive, and you're an adult. it can't physically hurt you any more. keep reminding yourself it is only the past. you dont have to go through it again.
 
I feel your pain, I can tell you that my experience is that the more I deal with my abuse the less nightmares I have.

In time it will get better. Take care of yourself.
 
Scot
I'd forgotton just how bad flashbacks can be until this week.
The flashbacks of my abuse have eased dramatically over the last two years or so and they don't affect me any more. They still come but the tension and upset has gone.

But this last Monday I crashed my wife's new Subaru Legacy that she picked up the previous Wednesday.
And I admit that I was showing off to my mate in it. Luckily the damage is minor and nobody was hurt.
The guilt and shame I felt at my stupidity was huge, as was the telling off I got ! :o
But the flashbacks of the crash have been awful, they have woken me in the night sweating, and they come so often I can't believe that I lived with this problem for over thirty years. But I did, I know I did. This small incident has reminded me of how I was.

I can remember the sudden recall of past events ( I didn't call it abuse back then ) and the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, the sweats, my stammer getting worse, going bright red with embarrasment and feeling like shit.
This week has been the same, and it's only tonight when I've talked to my wife about how I feel that I'm starting to feel better.

To be fair she's wonderful about my 'stupidity' - it's not the first time I've done something like this, the last car she had I nearly totalled within two weeks ! But she buys fast cars :D
Anyway - I'm banished to my old oil-burner LandCruiser for the time being ;)

Flashbacks are bad news Scot, and I thin the way past them is talking about them in some detail. It's worked for me today anyway.

Dave
 
I feel for you, man. Flashbacks are terrifying. Some of the things I know to do that can help--though not entirely alleviate the pain--are to make an effort to look around the room, touch the floor, ground yourself in the here and now. Something else, which might be good to do before the other one, is to call someone whom you trust. Talking to someone from the present can help disrupt the intruding past.

Hope this might help a little...

Jeff
 
Scot,

I know I'm new here. But your response to my first post contained the kindest words I have ever heard.

My flashbacks are truly horrific. But knowing, just knowing, that someone else knows what I feel is already helping. The pain is great, I know.

I want to quote a couple of things you said to me and I want you to apply it to YOU: "There is NOTHING WRONG with what you feel and there is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with you!" and "You are taking your life back from the monsters".

Fighting back, though painful, is the only defense. I realize that now. If you get in a fistfight, either you stand up for yourself or you get the crap kicked out of you. I think we have both been through enough of that.

I also want to say that the only two things I felt were positive about me were my intelligence and my compassion. YOU obviously have these same traits. Most people don't give a hoot about others. Instead they crawl over them in the pursuit of "me first". You didn't do that with me. I want you to feel good about what you do. It will help to balance the scales of the pain.

If not for the deep seated knowledge that I have compassion for people and that has allowed me to help them despite my own disabilitating pain, made me realize that while the abuser destroyed most everything in my life, EVERY DAY I remain alive and trying is my little victory. I KNOW in my heart I am kind wherein my abuser was evil and sick. And that gives me the sense that he didn't win. Nor will the flashbacks!

Peace
 
Scot,

Man they do suck, especially at work or driving.

Remember to breathe and reassure yourself that it's just a flashback, you are okay, and you will be okay.

Take care, my wishes are with you,
Bill
 
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