flashback in church might trigger

flashback in church might trigger
S

shadowkid

WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shado
anyone that knows me knows me and god are not like speaking to each other heh,my stepdad asked me to go to a service at his church on monday night ,i am trying to get along with him so i said ok,when we got there it was real hard to even go in ,i expected god to strike me dead any instant,kinda like the lions den for me . there were a lot of people there ,so we sat and the preacher said it was a special prayer service ,yeah for me! ok so im ready to leave like ok?the preacher said that adam was battling many demons in his life and needed gods help ,i just wanna disappear! so he asks everybody to pray for god to force the demon drugs out of my body and to erase the memories of abuse that haunt me ,ok im leaving ,i told my stepdad i wanted to leave ,he said no ,but i started to anyway ,he held me by my arm ,and i tried to pull away ,the preacher came over and said it was the demons fighting with god for my soul,he reached out and grabbed my head ,now mind you i have a bandage and a tube in my head on one side ,he grabbed my head and was yelling for the demons to leave my body ,just like flipping a switch i was gone ,i was no where near that church ,i was on the floor of my cousins house and he had my head like in a vise he was pulling me up by my head ,untill i quit fighting he always had to hold me to keep me from turnning away. i felt my legs give out and the preacher was holding me up by my head!he let go and i collapsed to the floor ,i couldnt get back ,the flashback hit me like a truck ,i puked all over myself and the floor ,i wasnt in that church i was with my cousin and he was carrying me ,it was my stepdad carrying me to the car ,i woke up at home i felt ok but like something inside is broke ,they told me that god entered my body when i collapsed ,but they dont know it was satan not god ,they think they saved me ! i went to church and they took me to hell . i thought i knew what a flashback was ,guess i didnt . i understand that they only wanted to help and i appreciate it ,but they have no clue what they are dealing with . adam
 
adam, satan has no control over you now, you fought him on his own terms and won.
No devil would have a chance with you, the good guy won through.

This is you today, the good guy who deserves to see that, and he has no guilt to carry through.

You fought the demons in the flashbak and won, and they will get easier to fight, the more you face them, they are of the past and not the future,

ste
 
Adam,
You're amazing. You allow that they were well-intentioned at least. This must have been awful for you. I'm so sorry. You're right. They don't know what they're dealing with. You're a great guy. Despite this "help" you're doing incredibly well. Your stepdad is doing his best. Hang in there.
Paul
 
Wow................

I never felt comfortable around a church either. My Dad used to make us go to a Catholic church when I was a kid. I never went back once he gave me a choice not to go. I tend to view organized religion the way that Monty Python does in "The Meaning of Life". I don't say that to sully the reputation of religion, I only meant that I could never "fit in". And asking for God to help/change me? Ha! Yeah call me a cynic but my feelings have good reasons to be there, just like yours do.

Well, you honored your Step-Dad's request. You did what he asked.

Question for you Adam. What has your Step-Dad (Jason, right?) had to say about this? Is he glad he brought you? Have you guys talked about this? He's not going to know what you just told us unless you say it to him as well.
 
Adam,

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I don't think it's respectful or safe for people to decide to help "heal" you without permission....you're right, they don't know what they are dealing with and although they wanted to help you they didn't recognize it has to be done on your terms, on your pace, and in ways that don't trigger you.Know you have lol and support here, and healing will come in its way and time.

Halibut
 
Just when I thought my week sucked, out pops the raccoon and reminds me it could be a lot worse. You are a very special guy, Adam, and I hate that those people did that to you. And in the name of God, no less.

A friend told me recently that it was perfectly acceptable to be mad at God, but not such a good idea to stay mad at him. I kind of like this idea, because it allows me to argue with God, be pissed off, work things out and return without fear when it is all said and done.

I hope you are doing well, my man. Keep your chin up, and I will try to do the same.
 
I'd have to agree with thwap. IF God is God, he can certainly handle my rage and can certainly know where it is coming from. I certainly hope I would let my child (I hope, because I don't have children) do the same thing to me without it changing how I feel toward the child.
 
Adam,

I'm a church go-er myself, and trust me, that was no church. Any minister that would place his hands on you like that and act that way is not doing so on the orders of God. Quite the opposite actually. Trust me on this one.

I agree with Paul, You're an amazing man. Keep up the hard work you're doing, Bro.

Lots of love,

John
 
Adam,

I admire your handling of this situation. Paul is right, at least you granted they had good intentions, but what a rotten way to have good intentions given to you - by force! For me, I would have felt violated just by the words "abuse" and my name being announced to everyone in the same sentence.
 
Adam,

You say
i understand that they only wanted to help and i appreciate it ,but they have no clue what they are dealing with
Click to expand...
I think you are 100% correct here. It is my opinion that these people even tho they are a "church" are totally clueless about God too. People tend to act like the god they worship and a god like that is a good god to stay away from. Stay away from those people too.

Keep looking Adam, you will find what it is that you are looking for.

Love ya
Darrel
 
adam, the only one we ever trust in the world is God, then we think he lets us down.
The only one we can scream out to, is the guy who made us, when we cannot fathom out bad or terrible things that happen around us.

We all do it, and carry on doing it, but God is there, he always was, and he has little power other than let us survive or not as is his will.

From soldiers in battle to little kids dying, he chooses when he wants them, or gets them out of it somehow.

Dont blame your stepdad, he is doing things that he thinks will help, but that is it, he is showing that he cares, and maybe you have not had much of that in your life.

Imagine if we all turned up on Christmas eve to just say Hi, and give you a great big present.
Most of these guys would love to do that, but we cant.

Just give yourself time to think that ppl care about you, and work on the past,

ste
 
Adam,

If they wanted to help you, they would not have done that to you. They had no respect for your own privacy -- disclosing your most personal information. They touched you, when you didn't want to be touched. They shamed and mocked you in a very public way. Don't ever let your father, nor anyone, do that to you again!

Those people only did that to help themselves, the self-righteous bastards!

Russ
 
russ i agree that they think if they save me its a free ride to heaven for them ,but to be honest i cant really be real mad at them,cause even though their way of doing it was so out of line ,i do think that they believe what they say ,i think they are convinced that they are my only hope ,its hard to be mad at someone who truly believes they are helping you. i believe they had good intentions ,i really dont think they inteded to shame me and i guess if im ashamed then that is on me not them . also i was thinking if i should just sit down with the preacher ,not a building full ,and tell him ,ask him all the questions i have asked at ms about god ,maybe if he knew he wouldnt think im weak anymore ,thats what pissed me off he said i was weak and let satan in . one other thing these are not like snakeworshipping type people ,they are bankers and lawyers ,regular people ,who let religon get out of control . shadow
 
Here's my two cents, Adam. Such a meeting may be beneficial. However, the first thing you should ask, before anything else (except for perhaps the customary pleasantries of meeting), is for him to apologize for what he did. Be polite, but make it clear that this issue is the deal maker. If he needs clarification on exactly what to apologize for (i.e, what he said, did, etc), then go ahead and give it, and explain what was hurtful. If he refuses, waffles, changes the subject, or tries to justify himself - if he does anything other than apologize - then don't bother with the rest of the meeting; he has just proven that he really doesn't care about what you think or feel. Sound reasonable?

I suppose it's easy to deal with people if you can decide for yourself what part of what they're saying is "what they really feel" and what part is just planted in their minds by "Satan".
 
Adam,

I like Mel's suggestion. Wise man, he.

Keep doing the work, Adam. You'll find what you're looking for.

Lots of love,

John
 
wow...

Talk about heavy stuff. He had no right to do that!
Fighting out demons... tskk.
Can't believe people are still doing that kind of stuf!
Hope you're feeling better now.

Alexander
 
Adam,

I know it is good to have help from people when needed and I understand why you feel that there is no reason to be mad. However, the preacher tried to offer you help when you didn't want it. He put his hands on you in front of everyone and disclosed personal information about you against your will. If your not angry, then your not angry. You know the situation better than I do, however, I hope you know that it is OK to feel angry about this if those feelings really are within in you. I agree that it would be good to talk to him. maybe, it would be better if you waited until you feel comfortable and safe before you return to that church.

The truth will set us free
Jason
 
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