First timer w/ question

First timer w/ question
P

Paul 90

New Registrant
I'm a first time poster. Just found this site about an hour ago. I'm 52, a father of two and grandfather of two as well. Was abused from about the age of 12-15. I just told my wife about it last week. First person I've ever spoken to about it in my life. I felt like an emotional volcano going off. It was'nt until I started talking out loud rather than in my head that I started to realize to what extent nearly all the decisions in my life have been tainted and twisted by the abuse. Been reading a bunch of the posts and realized that a lot of you fellows have a similiar story. Guess I've always known there are guys like me out there, but when you've kept such a secret for so long it's hard to talk to anyone much less ask for help. Got "Victims no Longer" a few days ago and I'm getting alot of help reading it. Although I'm not posting anything too specific today; I would like to ask a question. Anyone Know of a support group in the KC, Mo. area? Best to you all!
 
Paul,

I'm nowhere near your area but I'd like to welcome you to the site. You are so right - it's very hard indeed to talk and ask for help, and those are lessons we need to learn. I hope you will stick around and get to know the guys here. It's a great crowd and you will find a lot of support and understanding here.

The book you name is one of the very best and I can just imagine how it must be helping you. It certainly did a lot for me.

I have looked for a therapist for you in our directory of therapists on the site, but everything is being shifted to a new server at the moment and some things don't work again yet. The directory unfortunately is one of them. But perhaps one of the other guys in the USA will be able to help you.

Much love,
Larry
 
Paul,

Congratulations on taking the first difficult steps to get healthy!

I found the online listings at RAINN very helpful when I started looking for resources other than our marriage counselor. Here's one of the listings I found there:
Metropolitan Organization to Counter Sexual Assault
Kansas City, MO 64111
Hotline Phone: 816-531-0233
Business Phone: 816-931-4527
Special Services: Family, Male, Teen, Spanish
Click to expand...
Good luck, and remember to go easy on yourself. I'm not the only guy who's tried to rush through this and made some things more difficult in that process. The only way out is through. Though no one can do it for you, there are many doing the same kinds of work here. We'll get healthy with you.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Paul,

Welcome to the site. Unfortunately I do not know of any groups in your area, but keep looking. Groups are a great thing. Until you find one, keep using this site it is the next best thing to a group.

Best of luck as you start dealing with this. It isn't always easy or pleasant, but as the saying goes "Better out than in". Keeping it a secret is harmful and keeps its power over your life. speaking about the abuse gives you power over it.
 
Paul,

Welcome to here. Glad you found us and hope you find what you are looking for, both here and in a support group in your local area.

Hope you hang around here and get to know us. This is by far the most supportive, loving, and understanding bunch of men I've ever been acquainted with. It feels so good to finally learn that you're not alone, doesn't it? It was that way for me. Like I'd been holding my breath underwater for 40 years or something and I'd finally managed to get my head above the waves for this huge refreshing gulp!

Wishing you the best and safe hugs to you, My Friend.

Lots of love,

John
 
As several others, I do not know that I can not answer your question of suport groups there, as I am not located near to you. But I can welcome you to here, and the support you can and will hopefully find here. I wish you good luck in your healing.

Leosha
 
I never know what to say to people who find this site -- but as it indicates healing and growth even if its mucky I guess its a good thing. I'm pretty new to this myself but finding a t and a group was a good start
 
Hi Paul,

I am new here as well and I just want to say hi and well I hope we both find what we need here and elseswhere in our lives.
 
Paul,

So glad you found this site. As I sure youve found by reading the posts and your book, Youre not in Kansas anymore!. Your whole life is about the change, and as outis alluded to, pace yourself. You simply cant rush this stuff.

Youll find reading these posts, and replying when you wish to, reading books and trying to find a therapist will help. Finding a T may take some time but be persistent. I think I can stake the claim of living in the worlds most isolated capital city, Perth Western Australia; and I eventually found a great therapist who works with male survivors.

Welcome.
 
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