First time posting

First time posting
L

LostnHell

Registrant
As the subject line says this is my first post. I also just found this site yesterday and have lurked around a bit.

I don't know what really to say here. I've gone what seems a lifetime (I'm approaching 49) with many unanswered questions. I have some vague notions, a few memories and some things that seem to stare at me from the twilight zone. Meaning, things that flash so brief in front of me that I can barely grasp what they are. I've been in therapy before and made "some" progress along certain lines but core issues are still unresolved.

I will throw something out though that may sound both shocking and / or controversial and probably not as common to others experiences. I have had problems with negative type spirits. :eek:
I can explain more or not , maybe I should drop it. However the theory goes that when you lose parts of yourself there is an opening for these things to take residence. Really I mention this because I'd find it interesting to hear if anyone else has had these experiences.

Anyway I'm sure I'll be writing more soon.
Thank you for allowing me to post.

LNH
 
LNH- Welcome. I can't speak to the spirit issue, very little, if any real, experience with such things. But, if you are a survivor of sexual abuse, you've found a place where men support eachother and heal together. I hope you find what you need and wanted to say Hello.
Peace - John
 
Lost,

Welcome here - I'm glad you found us. I'm anticipating good things for you as you read posts, perhaps join the chat room and maybe even post yourself.

I'm relatively new here and I've found great comfort in reading posts by other guys who end up feeling just like I do. That in itself is reassuring. You will probably also find that the things guys write about here will "trigger" you i.e. memories and details from your past my come to mind. Painful as they may be, it all helps in you dealing with this stuff, so when it happens know that it's ok and hang in there through it all.

On the spiritual side, there is another forum on this site where the people there may be able to give you some more insight. The forum is called "Spirituality and Survivors". I do have views (and experience) in these areas, but this being the Male Survivors forum, it's probably not the best place for me to elaborate here. Feel free to "Private Message" me (PM) and I'd be glad to share more. To do that, just click on my name and a Profile will come up on your screen. You can then click on the 'Send New Private Message' on the top right hand corner of the screen. I offer a PM to you as I don't feel my opinions in a public forum on spiritual matters would be appropriate.

Again, welcome.
 
Welcome LNH. Sorry that you had the experiences that brought you here. I hope you find some peace of mind by reading the experience, strength and hope of others in the MS forum. Peace, Andrew
 
LnH,

You said, "I can explain more or not , maybe I should drop it. However the theory goes that when you lose parts of yourself there is an opening for these things to take residence. Really I mention this because I'd find it interesting to hear if anyone else has had these experiences."

May I tell you of my experience and while it may not be what you expect, this is what it says to me.

When I've worked through some of the crap of my life; the voice of my father telling me that I can't do anything right. And I set out to do something, I'm sometimes overwhelmed with such negativity...that I'm lower than whale stuff, that I can't really accomplish anything, that I'm sometimes stopped right in my tracks. If I were filled with demons, I wouldn't be any more worthless.

My point is that we can fill ourselves with all of the stuff that we were told. We have a thread here that is filled with the lies that we were told...that we wanted it, that we deserved it, that we're not good for anything else...shit like that.

There isn't a demon in this world, or any other, that could be more effective at killing us from the inside.

It is from this crap that we try to purge ourselves. What remains is a freed up soul looking to fly as we were meant to.

Peace, LnH, strength and courage, too.

David
 
Hi LOstinHEll,

I want to say welcome here. Like the others I am sorry you had to find this place but happy you did.

A little comment about the spirits. I also have had experiances like you talk about along with my wife. we both have done some different things and they seem to work. I agree that this forum is not the best place to talk about it. If youo want you can pm me anytime and I will go into detail more.

all the best and courage,

Jonathan
 
I wanted to thank everyone who replied for their sincere welcomes and feedback. It's weird for me, because it's been so long and I'm just starting to realize how messed up things truly were. Mostly because I think I finally have a good therapist.
I have this one memory of laying in my crib, probably at age 3 (they kept me longer in a crib). I was laying there and mashing my hands into knots and tensing every part of my body and hating myself. It's always stuck out in my mind, like wow I was so screwed up at such a young age. For all these years though my thoughts have been is that I was just born screwed up and miserable. It's weird to finally "start" to even consider an alternative to that idea.

The thing is I've always considered myself just screwed up and felt there wasn't any more to it. I was born that way and had little choice but to have the lot I was given. This new perspective opens up a whole different reality. At least from the little I've seen so far.

LNH
 
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