First posting

First posting
F

fishpond

I am a survivor of clergy sexual abuse.
I've been working on recovery for a few years, and have begun to notice how hard it is for me to develop relationships with other people. I have spent so much of my life alone that the contrast is kind of staggering. I have a lot of maladaptive patterns to overcome. Like most other interactions with people, I don't trust this one very much. But it really seems like many of you guys are sincere and good people. I've made some progress, but its hard for me to do the reaching out thing. So many of you guys seem so good at it. Maybe I can use this posting as a small step toward reaching out in my own life. Thanks for being here and for listening.
 
Dave,
Welcome here. I wish you had no need for us, but wishing changes nothing. I understand how it can be difficult to trust others. Just give yourself time. You will hopefully learn to trust us, as almost all of us are here to help in any way we can. I hope you can find your sense of peace!
Casey
 
Yes, I too have/had the Reaching Out inability and that alone devastated me. Not to mention a lifetime of lonliness. I wish I had known about this site in the earlier healing stages, but I instead did what Family trained me to do; reach out and thou shalt be punished.
That is not the case here, Welcome and sorry for your need here, but we are still all here. Grace be yours on this Journey.
 
Dave
yes, this a place where you can reach out, we understand each other - most of the time anyway. ;)

Reaching out is difficult for us, look at the betrayal we suffered, is it any wonder that have trouble in trusting ourselves and others?

You've made a decision to try trusting, good for you.

Take care
Dave
 
Hi Dave,

Welcome from a relative newcomer, I find reaching out difficult too. I think that there is a great deal of sincerity here. I agree that trusting and reaching out needs to start with small steps.

Rustam
 
Welcome Dave.

I'm glad you finally felt in a place that you could post. Over the past year and some, you probably had a few things you'd like to say but didn't. No matter, it's all in your own time.

Take care and feel free to post as much or as little as you see fit for yourself. This is your journey and it is you that are in control.

Take care,
Bill
 
Welcome here Dave.

There are many people here, in various stages of the healing process. Some are more comfortable with the 'reaching out' then others. And sometime, we may get to a point where we feel more comfortable with it, but then something may happen to go back a few steps. It is a healing 'process', not an individual event. It is just like they call it the 'practice' of medicine or law. We are always learning, and it is with it's ebbs and flows, not a stagnant still setting.

I think everyone here can relate to having poor adjustments in dealing with people, and any interpersonal relations. It is as most things, as we practice behaviors more, we become more familiar and secure with them. It is a process that takes time, and patience with ourselves. I think posting here is a good first step to you.

Good luck, and welcome here.

leosha
 
Welcome, home, Dave, at least to our club house, anyway. It is here that we get to work through some difficult stuff and in the company of the greatest guys in the world.
Go ahead, pick a subject. Pick one that you think that is a problem that only you have, and no one could be as "weird" as you. Sorry, several of us have had the same feelings, thoughts or behaviors and, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
I don't want to be a smarty pants or anything, but, go ahead, try it, pick the thing that you're most afraid of and you'll be surprised to see how many of your brothers here respond with similar fears...and hopes for the future.
Wishing you safe journey as you travel with us down this sometimes rocky road called recovery.

David
 
Dave,
I've made some progress, but its hard for me to do the reaching out thing. So many of you guys seem so good at it.
Click to expand...
We all take our first steps in an unknown territory, it can be frightening because we never know what to expect.

Reaching out is always hard, breaking the silence is even harder, you have made the first steps in your process of recovery,

take care,

ste
 
Dave - when I first came here & reached out, I was on auto-pilot! I didn't even really know that I was doing it - maybe that was a good thing as I could have still been stuck in the wilderness.

You've made that first step - sometimes it's the smallest things that we do here that have the greatest impact. Take the next step and keep coming back - I'm sure you will benefit from what you find here.....some of the best people on the planet.

Best wishes ..Rik.
 
I just want to say thanks to all of you for responding to me. I don't know what else to say. I check back every day or so and everything I read is amazing. I do not think that I have ever felt this before.

Dave
 
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