First Post

First Post
Y

Yves

Registrant
I found this site a few weeks ago and have been following the Discussion Board. Last night I spent a few hours in the Chat Room; thanks to everyone I talked to, everybody was so nice and patient and helpful.

I was asked in a round-about way what I was doing here, what I was looking for. I couldn't answer, because I don't know. I know I'm looking for something but I just don't know what it is. I do know that my life can't keep going on as it is, something has to give.

I don't know what to say. I've never told anyone what happened. Only he and I know. Nobody else. It's been 11 years and I still wake up in abject terror, looking over my shoulder, knowing he is just outside the door. Even though I know this is now only a figurative situation, I still can't get it out of my head. I don't know what to do, where to start, how to deal.

It must be fate that led me to find this place at this point in my life. I think I need to be here and know that I am not alone.
 
Yves,

Welcome to MS. I glad we had the opportunity to chat last night (I use a slightly different name in the chat, I never thought of using the same handle in both places). I think that I let you know that you found a place that you can let out your feelings, hurts, and concerns.

You have made a big step towards cleaning out the wounds that the SA has left in you. You have begun to let the secret out, this is a big step, and you deserve a pat on the back and a hug, a safe one. ((((((((Yves))))))))

If you ever want to talk, please feel free to PM me. We'll probably meet up in the chat room again.

Take care of yourself and be good to yourself,
Bill
 
Yves - Welcome. Fate might very well have brought you here but it's your inner strength and need to address your issues that keeps you coming back. As is so often the phrase here, I'm sorry you had to find this site, but happy that you did. Please keep coming here, if only to read others' posts. Just knowing that I am no longer alone in what I have experienced and what I continue to go through as a result, makes me feel a little stronger every day. I hope you can find some strentgh here too. Read, listen, share if you can. Be well and keep fighting for yourself, you deserve that much, really.
 
Yves,

Congratulations on your courage to open up a little and start working on improving your life. It's possible that as you continue you will come to know what you are seeking. The big thing is that you took action to change something that wasn't good enough for you. That first step was so difficult for me.

Keep coming back. Read, post, chat, PM, whatever it takes. When you're ready to tell more, then tell. In the meantime, just lean on the support that is here. You might be surprised to find out how much your mere presence on the board and in the chat can help someone else, too. We connect to things in the words of each other in unexpected ways sometimes, so every survivor who joins us gives strength to each of us.

Joe
 
Yves - Welcome!! Glad you posted!! Sometimes we aren't sure what we are doing here but know that we need something to change. After reading posts and poking about the site, things usually get clearer for you (direction wise).

Many of us who discovered this site brought our isolated secrets with us - including the awful stuff that clings to "our secrets". We all had secrets at one time and some of us still hold those secrets deep within ourselves - fearful of disclosure and a host of ugly things. I found the longer I held "my secret" inside, the worse it made me feel. As I got more comfortable here and read how others took that first step of disclosure, I found the courage to let "my secret" go a little at a time. Survivor's stories on the Public Board tells the story of many of our journeys.

Take your time!! Read as long and as much as you like. Use the site...talk with the guys...ask what you need to know...share whatever you feel comfortable sharing. You may have noticed that the characters above the post present options you may want to use from time to time.

Welcome aboard!!

Howard
 
Yves
welcome, maybe it was 'fate' that brought you here ? maybe the time is right for you to start healing yourself ?

I can be done, we can get our lives back from the creeps that abused us. And I can promise you that it's worth every scrap of effort.
It's not easy, but ask yourself "is my life easy now ?" - probably not. So join us, let us help and support you.

Dave
 
Yves,

Like everyone else has said, I'm glad you're here.

It's hard, what we've all been through. But it's liberating to talk about it and healing to know that we're not alone. Or is that the other way around? :rolleyes:

I'm tired myself. Too much going on, but I was a newbie not too long ago myself. It's scary, but you're not alone. We're all friends (and family!) here.

Once again, my new brother, I'm glad you're here. I love you, no strings attached.

Peace,

Scot
 
Yves, As everyone else has said, welcome. I can't explain how important it is to not be alone and let a little of the secret go.

When I first came here I never imagined that I would someday not care who knew what happened to me, and even reach a point where I freely told those around me.

Taking the steps you are taking now will pay off in significant ways down the road. Take your time, talk as you need to, and ask for help when you need it.

This is an awsome place and an amazing group of guys.

All my best.
BT
 
Yves, your words that "something has to give" means that you are fed up with having to deal with this alone.

Something did give, the day you joined here and posted here. Now more things will give.

We have a lon thread on the lies that were told to us. I will find the link and edit this post to put it here. It is good reading.

Here is the link to the thread about lies--it is really great.
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001044

Take care now Yves.

Bob
 
Sometime, we do not know why. We just know it is what we need, and where we need to be right now. I am glad that you found this site at this time, and I hope that it serves it's purpose to you. Welcome, and good luck.

leosha
 
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