First day here - survivor of sexual abuse
Hello,
Abused from 5 to 10, now 56 and the tough thing is, it was by my female babysitter. I've gone through life not realizing the ramifications it had on me at such an early age and since becoming sober - 13 months now, I'm trying to understand how this changed my perception of sex and especially of women.
My entire life from 5 has been about sex with women. I was having oral sex at 5 and then started performing it on her shortly afterwards. Once the abuse stopped, which all I could imagine was sex. It's destroyed my life. It's destroying my 5-year-old marriage and my wife knows all about my past, she was my high school sweetheart that I cheated on 39 years ago. She was the first person I ever told that I was sexually abused and that was only a couple years ago. I'm not sure where to turn. I haven't found any other male that was sexually abused by a female outside of their family and feel lost. Any insight, suggestions, help would really be appreciated.
Abused from 5 to 10, now 56 and the tough thing is, it was by my female babysitter. I've gone through life not realizing the ramifications it had on me at such an early age and since becoming sober - 13 months now, I'm trying to understand how this changed my perception of sex and especially of women.
My entire life from 5 has been about sex with women. I was having oral sex at 5 and then started performing it on her shortly afterwards. Once the abuse stopped, which all I could imagine was sex. It's destroyed my life. It's destroying my 5-year-old marriage and my wife knows all about my past, she was my high school sweetheart that I cheated on 39 years ago. She was the first person I ever told that I was sexually abused and that was only a couple years ago. I'm not sure where to turn. I haven't found any other male that was sexually abused by a female outside of their family and feel lost. Any insight, suggestions, help would really be appreciated.