Finding your perp

Finding your perp
Hauser

Hauser

Registrant
Me again. I just got thinking in another post that I just put up about never having known what has become of my perp. I have no idea if he's in prison, or just getting by without having ever been caught. I can't beieve I was his only victim, his "technique" was too refined and I was too easily manipulated........I sensed experience with the way he abused me.

So, I just got to thinking, what if I found him? What could I do? I live in the USA and from what I know there is a 7 year statute of limitations for these crimes but I don't know for sure.

But.......I never really gave this much thought. Could I gain back any power in my life if I went out of my way to find him? Could the helplessness and hopelessness that I feel about my life be diminished if I found him?

I'm thinking of doing this, but I don't know where to go. Are any of you police or federal agents that could help me? I really don't know if I want to do this for sure but after having read Brian's Story in the Survivors Stories section. I think that this is something that I should consider. I've tried Zabbasarch.com but I can't find him there either. I don't know what to do geez.......
 
Hauser,

I was lucky in that I had access to all the police and state data bases. I also cleared it through the chief of police in my department so there was an "official" (yet very quiet) investigation going on in the begining. I could have been fired if I used the computers for personal gain without starting an investigation.

I ran his name (which was a very common name) through the Department of Motor Vehilces Data base. I also had a general idea how old he was. I came up with a list of 7 people in the state. I got lucky in that the first road trip I made ended up being him. He was about 70 miles from where he used to live.

I then had access and credibility with the police department in his town based on the fact that I was a police officer. If I had not been a police officer, I don't know if I would have been taken seriously.

Different states have different statue of limitations. Over the past 10 yeras many states have expanded their statue of limitaions just because of our situation. You may want to look into your states laws (or more specifically, the state where you were abused). I would be surprised if it were only 7 years. It would also depend on the specific crime that was committed and what age you were at the time.

I would also reccomend talking to a therapist about this to discuss ALL the possible senarios if you decided to move forward. It very well could back fire on you if you have not careful in your planning and more importantly, your expectations.

God Bless,

Brian
 
Oh Thank you Brian, and nice to meet you by the way. I was touched by your story in that I think you were only doing something that needed to be done for the community at first, but that in the end you found it to be a personally liberating experience. I'm happy for you.
 
The perp in my case has always been there since 1969. Got him convicted in March this year! Suspended sentence! He's still in town - haven;t seen much of him since the court case though.

I don't feel that fantastic yet, but it's early days. The last few years have been intense. I just need to see how things pan out! The perv is well known in our town now though for what he is - that gives me some satisfaction.

The kids are safe at last!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Hauser,

I'd check the statute of limitations in the state where the abuse ocurred. They are changing because more and more people are speaking up.

In Connecticut they bumped the statute to 30 years past the age of majority which meant I had until I reached 48 to bring a civil suit against the man who abused me. That law passed but a few months before my 48th birthday and with a great lawyer I was able to file in time back in 2002.

How did I find him? I knew where he once lived and drove to that house and talked to its new owners. They had an idea of where he had moved to and since it was still in state and actually one town over from where I currently reside it was relatively easy to locate him and serve the papers.

Fast forward to the end of May last year and we'd been through discovery, depositions (mine and his, he lied by the way), pre-trial motions and we're about three days from the start of the trial when the judge suggests an out of court settlement might be the best course of action so that's what happened. We negotiated a written apology, NO CONFIDENTIALITY agreement and a small sum of money (he was a teacher and had to borrow some of it).

Bottom line? While I would have preferred a criminal trial so that POS went to jail, we had to work with what the law allowed. You will find that the law and justice are two entirely different things when it comes to CSA. Statutes of limitations vary from state to state but all it takes sometimes is one person breaking the silence for good things to begin to happen.

Hope this helps and I wish you well on your journey.

Regards,

Zipser
 
i dont think it is vital to find him. what is important is to have some form of closure. for me, leaving it in God's hands works. i believe in an ultimate justice, and that allows me to let go. that is what is important, closure in some form.
 
I agree and disagree with that Phoster. I like to think that wherever my perps are they're having nothing but bad things happening to them, and I hope that someday they'll have to answer for what they did. But at the same time something in my gut tells me that they're out there pulling the same kind of evil shit they did to me on someone else. But it's true that closure, in some form, in any form is important.

If I knew who they were or anything about them I'd put them all in jail in a heart beat. I used to call the cops all the time to see if they ever tracked them down, after a while they told me I should just get on with my life and if anything breaks they'd let me know. That was 4 years ago.

Sorry Hauser I kind of got away from your original question... a girl friend of mine put her step-father away for molesting her and her sisters. She lives in MA, the statute of limitations is 10 years. She just made it at 9 years with a year to go... both of her sisters were over 10 years so they could only testify as witnesses but they couldn't bring charges against him. When she first filed the report he skipped town, she contacted America's Most Wanted and they ran a quick story about it and showed his picture, within 24 hours they had him in custody. It took another couple of years for the trial to happen, but it happened and she won.

Jay
 
good point. it is important if you know and can put an end to them abusing, if it is possible. i didnt mean to make light of that, but i think as far as healing, if the survivor can make some form of closure it is enough. there are times a person doesnt know who did it to pursue it, or when it is a family member and they may choose not to pursue it.
 
Hauser,

I really would recommend approaches along two lines. Contact a lawyer to see what can legally be done in your state, beaing in mind the kinds of issues that Zipser mentions - the law and justice are not always the same thing.

At the same time, however, talk to your T about this. You need to ask yourself what you want from pursuing this, and what you are likely to get. How will it affect you if he denies everything or pleads that you were "in on it"? How are legal proceedings likely to traumatize you? And so on.

At the end it's really a matter of costs and possible gains. It's something to think about, though in saying this I am not in any way trying to discourage you.

Have you seen Ken Singer's piece on confrontation? It's very good, and there are also good discussions in the books by Mike Lew and Mick Hunter.

Much love,
Larry
 
I was lucky, when I researched his location I found out he had passed away three years earlier. I went through my therapist regarding this matter and he agreed that it would be helpful so I called my mother and she helped track him down. Knowing this information did help relieve the thought that he would one day put a gun to my head for telling the police what he did to me, not that it did any good, he served no prison time. I hope things work out for you, I do have information about a site that may be helpful to you. I am waiting on the MS guys to okay it before I post it. PM me if you would like the information.
 
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