Finding Myself
FormerMarine
Registrant
I haven't been on the site for over 2 years since a separation from my wife. Went back but she was worse into her drugs and then cheated. Marriage is over and I've been alone for over a year healing from the loss and abuse.
I have been bicurious for a while now but have never cheated and never explored. I recently met a guy about my age online and we met recently and fooled around but both to old and nervous for playing in the car. We are going to get a room soon and I am excited and still nervous but no longer intimidated by being vulnerable again!!! No role playing with knives unless I'm the one holding this time, lol!
I have no one to talk to about this here. My eldest daughter, where I am living until the ex and I sell our house, is my best friend now and she knows about what happened but I don't know about telling her more just now. We were once talking and I did reveal my curiosity after discussing a flashback/nightmare that I had. She got used to the others I have severe PTSD. This one I am bawling and screaming no and for my mom. That just made me cry, I'm 61!!! I became a Marine and a bit of a badass, first learning judo because I was never being hurt like that or beat by Dad and bigger kids, didn't start my growing spurt until late 17! Everyone here knows the friendly and lovable but gruff and tough former Marine that I unfortunately discovered still hides that scared little boy!!!
I have been bicurious for a while now but have never cheated and never explored. I recently met a guy about my age online and we met recently and fooled around but both to old and nervous for playing in the car. We are going to get a room soon and I am excited and still nervous but no longer intimidated by being vulnerable again!!! No role playing with knives unless I'm the one holding this time, lol!
I have no one to talk to about this here. My eldest daughter, where I am living until the ex and I sell our house, is my best friend now and she knows about what happened but I don't know about telling her more just now. We were once talking and I did reveal my curiosity after discussing a flashback/nightmare that I had. She got used to the others I have severe PTSD. This one I am bawling and screaming no and for my mom. That just made me cry, I'm 61!!! I became a Marine and a bit of a badass, first learning judo because I was never being hurt like that or beat by Dad and bigger kids, didn't start my growing spurt until late 17! Everyone here knows the friendly and lovable but gruff and tough former Marine that I unfortunately discovered still hides that scared little boy!!!