Finding my voice
Last week at my support group, I shared some things that I never tell anyone.
I overanaylze everything. I wanted to say something but then I didn't. What will they think if I tell them this?
The first time, I kept quiet. It's safer that way. What they don't know, they can't use against you.
This time, I wanted to speak and yet I was so scared of opening my mouth.
I did talk. I said the things I don't say. Told what I don't tell. And sat there shaking in fear of a reaction. That they wouldn't understand.
I got a couple of people who identified. That made it easier. But now I wonder what they think of what I said. Like I said, I over analyze.
Days later, I am still wondering. I never shared before with people I would have to see again.
I know it is probably all in my head. That they probably don't think I am crazy. But the fear is still there.
I found my voice, but I really wish I had kept quiet. This is a big damn risk. I want to call the facilitator and ask if what I said was OK. I think it was. But I always doubt myself when I talk from my heart, from my truth.
No one believed before. Why would they now?
I overanaylze everything. I wanted to say something but then I didn't. What will they think if I tell them this?
The first time, I kept quiet. It's safer that way. What they don't know, they can't use against you.
This time, I wanted to speak and yet I was so scared of opening my mouth.
I did talk. I said the things I don't say. Told what I don't tell. And sat there shaking in fear of a reaction. That they wouldn't understand.
I got a couple of people who identified. That made it easier. But now I wonder what they think of what I said. Like I said, I over analyze.
Days later, I am still wondering. I never shared before with people I would have to see again.
I know it is probably all in my head. That they probably don't think I am crazy. But the fear is still there.
I found my voice, but I really wish I had kept quiet. This is a big damn risk. I want to call the facilitator and ask if what I said was OK. I think it was. But I always doubt myself when I talk from my heart, from my truth.
No one believed before. Why would they now?