Finding Functionality
Robert1000
Registrant
Hey all,
I'm writing for two reasons:
First: I'm living proof that you can process the traumas that have struck your life and, step by step, live a better and more deliberate life.
Second: The process never ends, but it does get easier.
I first owned up to the trauma that had happened to me early in 2009. It feels like a million years ago. I had carried on a stupid affair with a co-worker, in which I basically had sex with her a handful of horrid times, hated myself thoroughly, struggled to get out of it and finally told my wife when I thought the husband of the other woman was bent on coming to our house, armed and angry.
What a messed up situation, right? I was a shambles. I trace so many bad decisions, so much shame and hurt back to the molestation which I suffered in secret when I was a grade school boy. I mean, I own my decisions. I'm responsible for my life. And the day I told my wife that "fucked up shit went down" in my childhood apartment complex, I started to deal with the realities of my life.
Since then, thanks to quality insurance and a smart spouse who knows herself, I've had intensive therapy, including EMDR. The first few years were horrible with flashbacks and depression and just everything that comes out when digging deep into the dysfunctions and painful histories of life.
But these days things are so much better. In therapy, the trauma of my childhood has receded as a topic of conversation. Mostly, I'm working on being the best man I can be, the best partner and dad, and I'm trying to live deliberately... to do the things I WANT to do, and not be limited by shame and projected feelings.
I'm going through all this, because sometimes when you're deep in the healing process, you might feel like you're in a time warp where nothing changes.
But things do change. You will evolve. And you'll feel SO MUCH better.
Good luck to you. As I have written before, this is our club... a club no one would ever want to join, but here we are, and I'm glad to be in this with you as each of us struggles to find happiness and meaning in our lives, and to end the cycle of abuse.
Take care and God bless.
Bob
I'm writing for two reasons:
First: I'm living proof that you can process the traumas that have struck your life and, step by step, live a better and more deliberate life.
Second: The process never ends, but it does get easier.
I first owned up to the trauma that had happened to me early in 2009. It feels like a million years ago. I had carried on a stupid affair with a co-worker, in which I basically had sex with her a handful of horrid times, hated myself thoroughly, struggled to get out of it and finally told my wife when I thought the husband of the other woman was bent on coming to our house, armed and angry.
What a messed up situation, right? I was a shambles. I trace so many bad decisions, so much shame and hurt back to the molestation which I suffered in secret when I was a grade school boy. I mean, I own my decisions. I'm responsible for my life. And the day I told my wife that "fucked up shit went down" in my childhood apartment complex, I started to deal with the realities of my life.
Since then, thanks to quality insurance and a smart spouse who knows herself, I've had intensive therapy, including EMDR. The first few years were horrible with flashbacks and depression and just everything that comes out when digging deep into the dysfunctions and painful histories of life.
But these days things are so much better. In therapy, the trauma of my childhood has receded as a topic of conversation. Mostly, I'm working on being the best man I can be, the best partner and dad, and I'm trying to live deliberately... to do the things I WANT to do, and not be limited by shame and projected feelings.
I'm going through all this, because sometimes when you're deep in the healing process, you might feel like you're in a time warp where nothing changes.
But things do change. You will evolve. And you'll feel SO MUCH better.
Good luck to you. As I have written before, this is our club... a club no one would ever want to join, but here we are, and I'm glad to be in this with you as each of us struggles to find happiness and meaning in our lives, and to end the cycle of abuse.
Take care and God bless.
Bob
