Financial Strain

[Ryan15]

I am living with a friend who seems to think I am going to support her financially. I am renting a room from her for $400/mo. as well as helping her since she is unable to do most things herself due to her physical challenges.

I have been living with her for about three and a half years and things have been getting worse. I am struggling financially as I have missed a lot of work the last few months due to FMLA, (resulting from my sexual abuse, but that is another story). My friend has all these home projects, ranging from plumbing to getting the AC turned up on, to getting her car fixed. In addition, her dog is not doing very well and has run up a lot of vet bills. Now my friend thinks it is my responsibility to help with the costs, but I disagree because if it were my decision, I would prioritize these projects and not do them all at once, (with the exception of her dog, of course, and I really love her dog).

In a good month, I make about $1600 before taxes, but of course I have benefits and bills to pay-which I haven't paid to my financial strain. Right now, my church has been covering my rent for the last few months. And I can barely afford to keep my phone turned on. When I tell her I cannot afford any more expenses she gets upset saying it is part of my responsibility since I am living here. She expects me to spend $200/mo on groceries, and help with the cost to get her car fixed, (of course I drive it sometimes), but if it were my car and thought it shouldn't be driven, then I would take public transportation, (of course that is easy for me to say since I grew up on public transportation). I am becoming very frustrated about this.

TW16

 

[house]

I can relate I'm renting a room too, I do what I can will fix what I can, clean when I can. But I don't have any power they are doing me a favor so I put up with a lot of BS. I hope you can work things out. try not to let issue build up but talk it out. Hope things work out house

 

[Ceremony]

Like house, this topic resonates. I have a lot of energy and emotion tied into the life that this is integrated with. Mine is wrapped up with my wife and family. The post you're writing, the relationship, the money strain, the stress created by differences, it's all a lot of where my reality fits.

I can only think of this topic in small bites to look at it. I can talk about it abstractly in an intellectual way.

 

[Ryan15]

Did I mention my friend has a problem with codependency? She does recognize this, however.

TW16

 

[wgrrcb]

How much does she make?

 

[greenwizard]

Wow, that's kinda messed up. Is there any way you can find another place to live? Seriously, because you do live there you are responsible for at least half of the household expenses, but not more. Her car, her projects, her dog... all her problem. Believe me, I understand about money being tight. My income is Social Security Disability. It's partly my own fault, but most months I get my check, pay bills, and might have $5 left.

My girl and I share expenses, but we are in a romantic partnership. Basically, whatever needs paid gets paid by whoever has it. I've bought flea meds for her dog and paid for vet bills. She buys my medications that I run out of in the middle of the month. That's how it's supposed to work, not 1 person supporting 2 people. It's like, sorry, but if you can't afford to do a project, then you just don't get to do that project. That's adult life. It sucks hard, but what can you do?

 

[Ryan15]

My friend is self-employed. She takes care of peoples' pets when they go out of town. Sometimes she makes a lot, sometimes she doesn't make much. My friend is also get a disability check or something each month.

As for my friend's dog, I will help with that because I consider her to be just as much mine, but anything else I can't really help her with.

TW16