filed police report#2 flash backs!

[hemi1024]

Just when you think you are strong and nothing can get to you wrong. This investagater asked Questions of things that I had for gotten about. There was a instance wear he had my sister and myself comepletely naked and he than beganto put us together in a sexualy way I remember not staying erect and him trying to keep me stimulated but would not work. I was between 11-12 my sister was 9-10. I just feel sick when I think back to this and ashamed,dirty and one other thing is that I remember is him kissing me not just your kiss on the cheek oh hell no. He put his tongue inside my mouth how I hated this and I remember this becuase of his rough unshaven face and the wisker burn. This was more diffacult than the first one and I still have one more to go on the same perp. Ther were more direct questions this time and so much more flash backs it just makes me sick. Know I am rambleing on so enough said. Bill!!!

 

[reality2k4]

Bill,

what makes me mad, is that nobody should lead you in questions in a cop station, totally out of order, and you could file a complaint.

No wonder these cases fail, time and time again, when you are forced to remember all this shit.

It is alarming to think that there are not enough cops, trained to deal with such a sensitive subject.

Not enough anybodys' I should say, to work with the aftermath of CSA.

I hope you can put it down to an inexperienced cop, not knowing how to handle it, and take care, with yourself.

I know it was hard, but try to think positive,

ste

 

[roadrunner]

Bill,

I am not at all surprised that you reacted as badly as you did to the investigator's questions. As Ste points out, there are procedures for dealing with such reports; it doesn't sound like any sound procedure was followed in your case.

That said, a police report is about gathering evidence that can be used to determine if a prosecution is called for, and also as evidence for such a prosecution. So somehow or another the direct questions do need to be asked and answered.

If you are having problems with flashbacks, then it's clear that you are not yet in any condition to be filing police reports. I don't remember if you have a T or not. If so, I hope you will discuss this with your T. If not I hope you will try to find a good T as soon as possible. A T will help you prepare for filing a report, so that when you do so it won't be so traumatic for you.

In some parts of the procedure it is necessary that you be alone with the officer taking the report. This guarantees that the evidence you are giving is yours and yours alone, and not encouraged or prompted by someone else. But someone can be in the station to support you and to help you out if you begin to react badly.

I so admire your strength and determination in filing a report when you are in so much pain yourself. By doing this you are helping to ensure that the perp cannot hurt others in the future. But do take care of yourself. Your own welfare and healing are also very important.

Much love,
Larry

 

[Nobbynobs]

Bill,

Just to expand on what Larry said, the police are not there to make you feel better, they are there to see if a crime has occured, and if it has, to go and get the people responsible. Therefore, they will be very probing when they question you, because they need to ensure that they have the right information.

Larry makes another good point. Police questioning is tough, but it is nothing compared to what a good defence lawyer will put you through if you get to court. The police may have been trying to do you a favour to let you know how tough this process can be. If I were you, I'd call the officer up and tell him how you felt. I bet his answer will surprise you.

Nobby

 

[RICK57]

Bill - you are strong, because you can tell us what concerns you!

Leave things in the dark, and they just rot and create a stench. Bring them into the light and let them loose their fear.

I made a statement 17th Oct 2004 in the UK (England). It took several hours to complete. The policeman had recent training in regard to abuse issues (and was genuinely concerned). It took until January 2006 to reach court. Sentencing finally took place on March 17th 2006 (4 appearances in court).

I was abused way back in September onwards of 1969. I had retained all of the information in my mind since that time - sometimes I buried it, sometimes I couldn't.

It is better to get it all out in the open. Initially, you might wish that you had never said anything, but that achieves nothing.

I had 3.5 decades of saying nothing, then I told. I told more people! I told my Doctor. I told my manager. I told my sister. The more I told the less it hurt telling. I went to court - it took 17 months to achieve conviction. I then told my best friend of 37 years and his wife - they never even suspected!

Telling hurts, but I hurt so much less since I told! Friday I finally confronted the perv face to face. I saw a demoralised coward walk away from me... I didn't see anything to be frightened of. I have this picture in my mind now...he is applying self tan to his legs... he produced it himself!

Best wishes ..Rik

 

[Nobbynobs]

Originally posted by RICK57:
The more I told the less it hurt telling.

You know, we really ought to start a thread that is just pearls of wisdom. Rick hit the nail right on the head. The more people you tell, the less hurt there will be.