Female underwear

I am fairly new here, and just do not understand what you mean by coming from love?
It’s not likely that Anthony is going to answer. Last on in 2014.

I can only speculate what he was saying.

My take: if wearing panties and women’s things give you comfort. It’s probably okay. If they are from a place of abuse or addiction the it’s probably not healthy.

My wife use to buy them for me until I told her that I wanted to transition. At the time we both agreed that it probably wasn’t a healthy practice if it was going to endanger the marriage (ie she isn’t lesbian). I haven’t worn them in a couple of years...
 
Thanks for the reply. I guess for me it is a little of both. It does give me comfort helps me to deal with my depression etc, but it also started many years ago as a result of abuse as far as I can remember.
It doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s possibly a way of you recreating the conditions but being in control of it...
 
POSSIBLE TRIGGERS

Lingerie played a big part of my journey but it took me a long while to understand my attraction to lingerie, cross-dressing and masturbation all were tied to the sexual abuse that began with my mother when I was an infant and she used a silk petticoat to stimulate my genitals. Of course, I didn't remember those events because I was both too young and too traumatized by her behavior. This was only one of her abuses.

But I did remember when at age 12 years old while babysitting, I went into the family's bedroom and removed all the lingerie and masturbated with it. For the next three years I broke into homes and stole lingerie, stopping only when my mother found a bag filled with lingerie under my bed. Three years later I began breaking into houses and stealing lingerie until I was caught and arrested. Over the years I've used lingerie to soothe myself, always with masturbation, sometimes with cross-dressing. I've bought lingerie, stolen it at stores, secretly used my wife's lingerie. I've been confused about my gender, about my sexual orientation and have experienced profound shame... until recently. I've come to understand ALL this behavior, all this fixation on lingerie has been the product of the abuse. I know I'm not drawn to same sex relationship and that I really don't want to change my gender. I am saddened by all the years of shame and all the acting out I did out of my confusion. I know gender confusion and sexual orientation confusion exist and don't wish to demean anyone who is struggling with these questions. But I do know it was sexual abuse and that petticoat in my crib stimulating my genitals that led to my fixation with all of these behaviors. No more. I want to heal from the trauma, not continue to act it out.
 

MACH123

Registrant
Yes this is very much what I'm like though when I was young and actually experiencing it I had no ability to look at it properly so I never was able to do anything about it? I was so busy running away from everyone and just trying not to get beaten up?

It's not the underwear thing so much for me or anything in particular, it's just being feminine.

Self loathing was so pervasive and painful I didn't really have time for much but numbing with self medication and alcohol, which was so easily available, made me such a mess.

Trying to live act think be like "a man," feel like a girl and why was I not gay? There was nothing in any of it that seemed like sexual abuse.

It was a little confusing.
 
...As for guilt and shame, oh boy both with a capital G and S. I use it as a coping tool, and go back and forth between wanting to stop and never wanting to stop. The peaceful feeling I get is so hard to give up. Weight it against the anxiety etc i feel all the time and then see how this makes me feel makes it hard to give up.
My therapist conceptualizes these behaviors as my attempt to gain mastery over what was so traumatizing and so bewildering. That makes sense to me. Granted, turning back to these behaviors revitalizes the trauma which is the last thing we need to find peace and recovery. I believe what we're invited to do is not shame ourselves for the thoughts and feeling evoked, but then to not act them out. I understand how seductive the acting out can be, for that momentary release... but healing offers a lasting peace not riddled with shame. I want to love the part of myself that has used lingerie to survive the sexual abuse, AND to say thank you. I can now care for the frightened parts of myself that once needed this release, but can do so without acting out. We are definitely a work in progress Larry.
 

AnyMouse

Registrant
One of the biggest gifts in recovery was to figure out and be comfortable in the fact, that I am a strange cat. (comfortable in the skin that I am in).
I have to say that I love this line @1islandboy. I look forward to accepting my strange cat self. And for the original post @OCN I like to paint my toenails. It’s a way to feel like I am expressing some part of my strangeness hidden inside the dress shoes in business meetings. I smile when I look down and see them when I am not at work. It is a way to let a little of the freak flag fly and feel good about it. The ladies in yoga class always make a fuss. It’s funny sometimes. Still working on some of the embarrassment when I am at the neighborhood pool. I try not to embarrass my boys around their friends. But they all know I am freaky. I have tattoos and body jewelry. I was a Marine and I play guitar so most people just write it off as “unique”. Or rock and roll. I work hard to not care what others think, but it isn’t always easy. My 2 cents. Glad you are writing it off your chest with all of us.
AM
 

diverinnh

Registrant
So I came to this thread because of a reoccurring need to wear women's panties I have. For years, every 6 months or so, while traveling, I would go into a Vicotoria's Secret store and buy a few pairs of panties (Larger size), make some lame comment at the counter that they were for my wife and then wear them underneath my business suits during meeetings or going out for drinks with the guys, because I knew of my secret, but no one else did, which was exciting and they felt good. Then inevitably, I would get nervous about being found out, felt shame, etc and throw them away. only to repeat the process again in 6 months or so. I also have had a fetish for women's panties for years, and have done things that I am quite frankly embarassed to admit. I never really understood why I was acting this way until very recently.
As I have been "Putting my puzzle together" lately, things start comming to the surface, that I am just now remembering (mostly coming to me as a result of journaling, therapy or triggers). Anyway, out of the blue I remembered that my abuser used to have me steal my Sister's underwear. At first I thought he wanted them for himself, but they were for me to wear while servicing him. This went on for a long time and I remember being so scared that my Sister would find out and that then everyone would find out. It was just one more thing to feel shame, guilt and embarassment about.
The reason I am posting this and after reading the posts in this thread, I'm still confused if this behavior is bad (reenacting the abuse) or if it is fine or healthy? Whether it was because of the abuse or something I came up with on my own, I like wearing panties. Actually, I love wearing panties. I just got 3 pairs of Women's Jockey Tactel Bikini panties and they are the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn by far. I do get turned on wearing them, I just wish I didn't have to hide this from everyone. My wife would not react well to this I am sure, so once again, I have to hide a secret. I'm tired of hiding secrets.
So I guess my bigger question for the group is, just because I was forced to do things for a few years by my abuser, some things I really liked. I know that sounds wrong, but I think it is reality. Because it is something tied to the abuse, does that mean that we shouldn't do them anymore if it is something we enjoy? I enjoy other things too, but I'm not supposed to as a married man. Do these things make me less of a man? I'm not feminine at all, yet I like things that women like.
Sorry for rambling, just really confused. I have a meeting with my T next week, so this will definitely be brought up.
 
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Alostman

Registrant
So I came to this thread because of a reoccurring need to wear women's panties I have. For years, every 6 months or so, while traveling, I would go into a Vicotoria's Secret store and buy a few pairs of panties (Larger size), make some lame comment at the counter that they were for my wife and then wear them underneath my business suits during meeetings or going out for drinks with the guys, because I knew of my secret, but no one else did, which was exciting and they felt good. Then inevitably, I would get nervous about being found out, felt shame, etc and throw them away. only to repeat the process again in 6 months or so. I also have had a fetish for women's panties for years, and have done things that I am quite frankly embarassed to admit. I never really understood why I was acting this way until very recently.
As I have been "Putting my puzzle together" lately, things start comming to the surface, that I am just now remembering (mostly coming to me as a result of journaling, therapy or triggers). Anyway, out of the blue I remembered that my abuser used to have me steal my Sister's underwear. At first I thought he wanted them for himself, but they were for me to wear while servicing him. This went on for a long time and I remember being so scared that my Sister would find out and that then everyone would find out. It was just one more thing to feel shame, guilt and embarassment about.
The reason I am posting this and after reading the posts in this thread, I'm still confused if this behavior is bad (reenacting the abuse) or if it is fine or healthy? Whether it was because of the abuse or something I came up with on my own, I like wearing panties. Actually, I love wearing panties. I just got 3 pairs of Women's Jockey Tactel Bikini panties and they are the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn by far. I do get turned on wearing them, I just wish I didn't have to hide this from everyone. My wife would not react well to this I am sure, so once again, I have to hide a secret. I'm tired of hiding secrets.
So I guess my bigger question for the group is, just because I was forced to do things for a few years by my abuser, some things I really liked. I know that sounds wrong, but I think it is reality. Because it is something tied to the abuse, does that mean that we shouldn't do them anymore if it is something we enjoy? I enjoy other things too, but I'm not supposed to as a married man. Do these things make me less of a man? I'm not feminine at all, yet I like things that women like.
Sorry for rambling, just really confused. I have a meeting with my T next week, so this will definitely be brought up.
I don't know if this is what a therapist would say but here is my take...I enjoyed things that my abuser did (a big reason that I can't say I am either gay or straight) I don't remember him dressing me up or anything like this, yet i enjoy cross dressing. I only remember enjoying giving him pleasure, and when you say "does this make me less of a man?" Well I am a huge guy, and I do the same things you do, so no in my opinion it doesn't make you less of a man.

You just have a kink, because of the abuse. You are married but you like wearing panties, no big deal in my opinion. Now if you are having thoughts of being gay or not being straight, then you might have a problem being married. My abuse happened at age 9 as far as I can remember, I know that this took whatever I would have been and changed me. I may have been this giant jock if nothing had happened to me but instead I kinda want to suck a dick lol.

You said you rambled, I just showed what rambling is lmao.
 
So I came to this thread because of a reoccurring need to wear women's panties I have. For years, every 6 months or so, while traveling, I would go into a Vicotoria's Secret store and buy a few pairs of panties (Larger size), make some lame comment at the counter that they were for my wife and then wear them underneath my business suits during meeetings or going out for drinks with the guys, because I knew of my secret, but no one else did, which was exciting and they felt good. Then inevitably, I would get nervous about being found out, felt shame, etc and throw them away. only to repeat the process again in 6 months or so. I also have had a fetish for women's panties for years, and have done things that I am quite frankly embarassed to admit. I never really understood why I was acting this way until very recently.
As I have been "Putting my puzzle together" lately, things start comming to the surface, that I am just now remembering (mostly coming to me as a result of journaling, therapy or triggers). Anyway, out of the blue I remembered that my abuser used to have me steal my Sister's underwear. At first I thought he wanted them for himself, but they were for me to wear while servicing him. This went on for a long time and I remember being so scared that my Sister would find out and that then everyone would find out. It was just one more thing to feel shame, guilt and embarassment about.
The reason I am posting this and after reading the posts in this thread, I'm still confused if this behavior is bad (reenacting the abuse) or if it is fine or healthy? Whether it was because of the abuse or something I came up with on my own, I like wearing panties. Actually, I love wearing panties. I just got 3 pairs of Women's Jockey Tactel Bikini panties and they are the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn by far. I do get turned on wearing them, I just wish I didn't have to hide this from everyone. My wife would not react well to this I am sure, so once again, I have to hide a secret. I'm tired of hiding secrets.
So I guess my bigger question for the group is, just because I was forced to do things for a few years by my abuser, some things I really liked. I know that sounds wrong, but I think it is reality. Because it is something tied to the abuse, does that mean that we shouldn't do them anymore if it is something we enjoy? I enjoy other things too, but I'm not supposed to as a married man. Do these things make me less of a man? I'm not feminine at all, yet I like things that women like.
Sorry for rambling, just really confused. I have a meeting with my T next week, so this will definitely be brought up.
I think you can only determine if this is a healthy activity for you. Other than the keeping secrets; does it keep you from having healthy relationships or productive working? How much anguish does it cause you? There is definitely a binge purge cycle that you describe. If it’s a harmless fetish, I think it is, then your therapist may not think it’s nothing.

I wouldn’t be ashamed of it, many men wear panties. Women like to wear nice underwear why is it strange that men do too? I think that women’s underwear has so many great options compared to men’s; material, cut, colors and adornments.

I suspect that there is a mystique related to your situation. There is excitement of doing something forbidden, something secret from your wife or other guys. If your wife let you wear them, it would probably decrease this...

My wife buys them for me, but that’s a different story...
 
So I came to this thread because of a reoccurring need to wear women's panties I have. For years, every 6 months or so, while traveling, I would go into a Vicotoria's Secret store and buy a few pairs of panties (Larger size), make some lame comment at the counter that they were for my wife and then wear them underneath my business suits during meeetings or going out for drinks with the guys, because I knew of my secret, but no one else did, which was exciting and they felt good. Then inevitably, I would get nervous about being found out, felt shame, etc and throw them away. only to repeat the process again in 6 months or so. I also have had a fetish for women's panties for years, and have done things that I am quite frankly embarassed to admit. I never really understood why I was acting this way until very recently.
As I have been "Putting my puzzle together" lately, things start comming to the surface, that I am just now remembering (mostly coming to me as a result of journaling, therapy or triggers). Anyway, out of the blue I remembered that my abuser used to have me steal my Sister's underwear. At first I thought he wanted them for himself, but they were for me to wear while servicing him. This went on for a long time and I remember being so scared that my Sister would find out and that then everyone would find out. It was just one more thing to feel shame, guilt and embarassment about.
The reason I am posting this and after reading the posts in this thread, I'm still confused if this behavior is bad (reenacting the abuse) or if it is fine or healthy? Whether it was because of the abuse or something I came up with on my own, I like wearing panties. Actually, I love wearing panties. I just got 3 pairs of Women's Jockey Tactel Bikini panties and they are the most comfortable underwear I have ever worn by far. I do get turned on wearing them, I just wish I didn't have to hide this from everyone. My wife would not react well to this I am sure, so once again, I have to hide a secret. I'm tired of hiding secrets.
So I guess my bigger question for the group is, just because I was forced to do things for a few years by my abuser, some things I really liked. I know that sounds wrong, but I think it is reality. Because it is something tied to the abuse, does that mean that we shouldn't do them anymore if it is something we enjoy? I enjoy other things too, but I'm not supposed to as a married man. Do these things make me less of a man? I'm not feminine at all, yet I like things that women like.
Sorry for rambling, just really confused. I have a meeting with my T next week, so this will definitely be brought up.
This tricky. I'm finding myself comforted when my therapist tells me this behavior is directly an outgrowth of the sexual abuse. I believe we recognize that we carry the trauma in our bodies and that it becomes activated under stress. That is when we act out. The acting out isn't simply an expression of our natural sexuality, but rather an extension of the trauma. Sure, I masturbated and ejaculated when cross dressing, so one could say I liked it. I could tell myself, its natural. There's nothing wrong with this behavior that gives me sexual release. On one level that is true, but to the extent it is reactivation of the trauma, I'm allowing the perpetrator to continue controlling my life, something I really don't want to happen. The evidence of that is the shame that comes up around the sexual behavior... whatever it is.

My approach is to stop doing the things I've always done to release anxiety, fear, stress... drinking to dissociate, use porn, act out with cross-dressing. I want to release the trauma, to close the door on the past to the extent I'm able... THEN see where my un-traumatized self wants to go in terms of my sexuality. I rather doubt the lingerie will play a part in my future, but I'm suspending judgment while I focus on recovering from sexual trauma. Be kind to yourself and pay close attention to what you're feeling. We've gone unconscious enough in our lives... dissociation is often a part of our experience in the midst of abuse. It is time to be honest and kind with ourselves. Best along the way my friend.
 
On one level that is true, but to the extent it is reactivation of the trauma, I'm allowing the perpetrator to continue controlling my life, something I really don't want to happen. The evidence of that is the shame that comes up around the sexual behavior... whatever it is.

My approach is to stop doing the things I've always done to release anxiety, fear, stress... drinking to dissociate, use porn, act out with cross-dressing. I want to release the trauma, to close the door on the past to the extent I'm able... THEN see where my un-traumatized self wants to go in terms of my sexuality. I rather doubt the lingerie will play a part in my future, but I'm suspending judgment while I focus on recovering from sexual trauma. Be kind to yourself and pay close attention to what you're feeling. We've gone unconscious enough in our lives... dissociation is often a part of our experience in the midst of abuse. It is time to be honest and kind with ourselves. Best along the way my friend.
Wow, visitor just took it to a deeper lever. You’re going to make me rethink a lot of my compulsions. Why am I really doing them and what impact does
It have considering reactivating trauma.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I dress up in a diaper and onesie and spend time regressed at times. It makes me feel safe and loved. However, it IS directly related to abuse. It’s something I have struggled to eradicate from my life, without success. I find myself going back.
 
Wow, visitor just took it to a deeper lever. You’re going to make me rethink a lot of my compulsions. Why am I really doing them and what impact does
It have considering reactivating trauma.

As ridiculous as it sounds, I dress up in a diaper and onesie and spend time regressed at times. It makes me feel safe and loved. However, it IS directly related to abuse. It’s something I have struggled to eradicate from my life, without success. I find myself going back.
When it is easy, it's easy. When it's not, it's not...

I have no judgments about anything we need to do to comfort ourselves. That is where compassion comes in as we reflect on what in the past has produced shame. If we accept that this behavior is tied to the abuse and this is how it became manifest, there really is no need to judge ourselves. And, we'll continue to do those things that we've learned to do to manage stress until we are inspired to unpack the abuse and with compassion begin to experiment with behaviors that allow us to claim our aliveness. I've been working at this for 35 years, making attempt after attempt to understand and then put behind me what I'd found. Along the way I did all sorts of things about which I felt shame and continued doing them even after I'd begun to understand the abuse. So the experiment I'm pursuing right now really has come from decades of work. From what I read about trauma, and what I was given by my therapist suggest it is possible to move beyond trauma.

What you describe SDD I take as your attempt to find solace and I've little doubt the roots of that behavior go deep into your history and perhaps your abuse. But that is a subject to explore with your therapist. It strikes me that rather than trying to eradicate the behavior that with the help of your therapist you inquire what that small person has to say to you about what he needs, what he fears. Acting out behavior is worth understanding. My cross dressing was completely bewildering to me UNTIL I remembered the piece of silk my mother used to stimulate my genitals in the crib. When I made that connect, a lifetime of bewilderment dissolved. I was acting out the abuse without even knowing what I was doing.

Yes, this is deep shit and we've all been given the opportunity to get to know it a bit better. I've posted this before but it seems apropos here...

This is my inexhaustible desire: that you will find a guide who is both patient and daring, unafraid to let you struggle, drift, and finally settle into the tempest of your own deep shit. One who will keep you quiet company as you go deep and dig until you look up and see that you are not sinking, you are not hopeless, your cause is not lost. There is no fix and no problem, no hurry and no wait. You are sitting upside up in the echoless calm of a vast, clear ocean, no wind or waves, and you are breathing, breathing, breathing.
Karen Maezen Miller, Paradise in Plain Sight, Lessons from a Zen Garden, p. 66
 
When I brought it up with my T I could tell she was dumbfounded then she told me that she has never had any experience with men who like women's under garments. I thanked her for the honesty and was told she will try and find someone I can talk to about it if I feel I need to.
Wow, that's a little sheltered.

Were you able to find someone to help you?
 
What you describe SDD I take as your attempt to find solace and I've little doubt the roots of that behavior go deep into your history and perhaps your abuse. But that is a subject to explore with your therapist. It strikes me that rather than trying to eradicate the behavior that with the help of your therapist you inquire what that small person has to say to you about what he needs, what he fears. Acting out behavior is worth understanding. My cross dressing was completely bewildering to me UNTIL I remembered the piece of silk my mother used to stimulate my genitals in the crib. When I made that connect, a lifetime of bewilderment dissolved. I was acting out the abuse without even knowing what I was doing.

Yes, this is deep shit and we've all been given the opportunity to get to know it a bit better. I've posted this before but it seems apropos here...


Karen Maezen Miller, Paradise in Plain Sight, Lessons from a Zen Garden, p. 66
Visitor,

I'm sorry that you endured that type of abuse.

My perp stepfather would dress me up in diapers, tease me and photograph me as punishment when I was well out of diapers. It was premeditated because there were no diapers in the house. It took me a while to realize that the fantasy surrounding this included humiliation, forced into diapers, shaming and photographs.

I have discussed it with 4 therapists, several psychiatrists as well as 12 step groups. I have been giving a range of advice from therapists. It's a sexual fetish, it's not a sexual fetish, it's an attachment item, you didn't attach to your parents you attached to diapers to get emotional needs met, don't know of anyone who has rid themselves of a fetish, it's dysfunctional you can replace it with something less dysfunctional like a teddy bear, I am re-enacting the abuse to 'work it out' in my head, God wants better for you than pretending to be a baby....

BTW: thanks for your kindness in responding. I sometimes feel like after I post about this or gender issues the thread dies. I get the feeling that most guys here get weirded out by this and it really makes me try not to bring it up. I also appreciate your depth of understanding that I read from your posts. Thanks for being here!
 
Roots of trauma go deep and when they extend into infancy it is especially challenging to heal since our whole identity develops AROUND the abuse. Certainly what you describe would be deeply wounding to a child. It is much easier to articulate a story about what happened, something you've no doubt done and something your therapists have attempted to help articulate with/for you, than it is to fathom what that child was experiencing moment to moment. When I consider having been used sexually by my mother when I was only months old and into the first couple of years of my life, I have to remind myself that what is happening is so far beyond the capacity of that infant to understand, my bewilderment/confusion that has followed me my whole life makes sense. All we want as infants and young children is for whatever discomfort is evident in a moment to be removed... food when we're hungry, a clean diaper when we've soiled ourselves, warmth and quiet so we can sleep if tired. A good enough mother will provide that for us. We'll still seek it even if it isn't coming toward us... at least we'll still seek it until its absence leaves us bereft with no more tears at which point we freeze and our body shuts down.

So I have no idea what was happening inside you as those events unfolded. Since it continued into your childhood you doubtless formed a sense of yourself with those insults present. The shame must have been overwhelming. Certainly talking about it as you got older must have seemed impossible, as it was for me around the cross dressing. Definitely, compassion is called for with regard to all of it, from the original pain to the acting out you've done to soothe yourself. That said, healing still involves not indulging in the behavior while finding care and compassion as the anxiety builds. We use those behaviors because it feels the stress/anxiety/pain will destroy us. That, of course is what we felt when the trauma was happening. But to do that work of feeling the deepest pain without relying on acting out behaviors is extremely challenging and requires support from folks capable of being there with you. I don't know what that might look like for you, or even if it is something you want to pursue. Bottom line SDD is that you will want to be gentle with yourself along the way. I really come to this work from a place of compassion, without judgment for myself over ANYTHING I've experienced along the way. I simply want a life not limited by what the sexual trauma did to me when I was a boy. I'm not that boy any longer. I am a grown man with the capability to show up on my own behalf and care for myself moment to moment. What your journey will be I have no idea, but it is a positive sign that you participate on this website and talk about the pain you experienced and still carry. That is a good thing to do in our journey of healing. Best to you my friend.
 
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diverinnh

Registrant
I don't know if this is what a therapist would say but here is my take...I enjoyed things that my abuser did (a big reason that I can't say I am either gay or straight) I don't remember him dressing me up or anything like this, yet i enjoy cross dressing. I only remember enjoying giving him pleasure, and when you say "does this make me less of a man?" Well I am a huge guy, and I do the same things you do, so no in my opinion it doesn't make you less of a man.

You just have a kink, because of the abuse. You are married but you like wearing panties, no big deal in my opinion. Now if you are having thoughts of being gay or not being straight, then you might have a problem being married. My abuse happened at age 9 as far as I can remember, I know that this took whatever I would have been and changed me. I may have been this giant jock if nothing had happened to me but instead I kinda want to suck a dick lol.

You said you rambled, I just showed what rambling is lmao.
Thanks Alostman, I do question my sexuality on a daily basis, but as hard as I try, I cannot see myself living with another guy. I love the way women feel, kiss, etc. At the same time, I LOVE cocks. Maybe I just haven't met the right guy, but my T thinks I am just very BIsexual. Thanks for your response.
 

diverinnh

Registrant
I think you can only determine if this is a healthy activity for you. Other than the keeping secrets; does it keep you from having healthy relationships or productive working? How much anguish does it cause you? There is definitely a binge purge cycle that you describe. If it’s a harmless fetish, I think it is, then your therapist may not think it’s nothing.

I wouldn’t be ashamed of it, many men wear panties. Women like to wear nice underwear why is it strange that men do too? I think that women’s underwear has so many great options compared to men’s; material, cut, colors and adornments.

I suspect that there is a mystique related to your situation. There is excitement of doing something forbidden, something secret from your wife or other guys. If your wife let you wear them, it would probably decrease this...

My wife buys them for me, but that’s a different story...
Thanks SDD757, I do truely like wearing the panties for the comfort and I agree that the forbidden aspect certainly comes into play. And as strage as it may sound, I do feel sexy when I am wearing them. I would wear them every day if I could. I have no interest at least at this point in cross dressing (I could never pull it off anyway), but wearing panties makes me feel good. Maybe I'm connecting with my feminine side??
 
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TJ jeff

Moderator
Diverinnh - I would like to suggest Jockey Men's Sport Cooling Mesh String Bikini Underwear if you are looking for comfort in wearing panties - I've been wearing them for many years and even my wife comments on how they look and feel even better than her panties
 
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