Feeling Sad and Depressed.

[onlyakid]

I'm sitting here watching a sitcom where the 14 year old boy is having girl problems because she's rich and he thinks he has to buy her something big or she won't like him. Combine that with the commerical that just aired about some medication showing a 12-14 year old boy having fun with his father. Something I never had because my father had Parkinson's disease ever since I was like 6. And I am so sad, depressed and angry that I couldn't have a normal childhood. WHY..Pardon the curse words but What the fuck did I do? Why couldn't I have had girl problems? Only girl problems I had was I didn't have a girl LOL...

Sorry to bring everyone down, but I had to get that out.

Jason

 

[Leosha]

Jason,

I think it is very understandable. I have sometime watched those shows and wondered what did I do so wrong that I couldn't have a father like Bill Cosby or someone. I cried in parts of 'Finding Nemo' because I knew my father would never have looked for me. Sometime when our emotions are 'keyed up' some, it seems small things will cause them to overflow. Maybe sometime just feeling the emotions keeps them from building up any more, to being unsafe to us. I'm sorry you are down today, and I hope you feel better soon.

leosha

 

[Rustam]

Hi Jason,

You didnt bring me down. I have felt and thought the same thing seeing kids problems on TV the kind of problems I wish I had. Its nothing that we did, as a kid I really believed that I got what I deserved, its not true. Christmas with its happy family films really makes the contrast between what we should have had and our own realities very painful.

You can still get to experience some nice girl problems.

Take care,

Rustam.

 

[MikeInFlorida]

Hi Jason,

I too am able to relate to your hurt, because like you, my father figure was not what I had hoped for. I hope that your dad loved you, and that you were able to at least have some kind of loving relationship with him.

My Dad was a high society drunk (or a high end drunk as we in AA refer to that type of drunk).

He left my Mom, and us kids when I was just 7, and my step father was the one who SA'd me.

I am not going to go into all of the details of my F'uped relationships with my father figures here. Because this is YOUR post. If you are intrested in my story, it is posted under Male Survivor Story's.

I say all of this, just to say that you could have had it worse, and I have found that what works for me is to focus on the here, and now, and whatever you have planned in your life for THIS Christmas.

I really hope that this helps you, it has helped me. If I were to focus on all of the hurt that I expierienced in my relationships with my fathers, I would not get out of bed, and would be on even more serious antidepressants, as it is I have been maxed out on Prozac by my Shrink for the past 2 years..

 

[Lloydy]

Jason
I just can't watch films or TV programes where some freckle faced boy saves the world and they all live happily ever after. I get so angry, so upset and then so fucking miserable that I have to turn the TV off - before I throw something at it!

Dave

 

[onlyakid]

I'd like to thank everybody for telling me that I am not alone in this. However I wish I would have asked 3 TVs ago. Just Kidding

 

[unknownsoldier]

Yeah,

I can relate to this. My dad only used me for his needs, he wasn't really interested in any other aspect of my life. When I am around older men who seem like father figures, I end up feeling really young, and they treat me like I am younger than I am. It pisses me off, so now I don't try to get close to them. Its better to just be able to be adult.