Feeling a little less sane

[aardvark]

Hi guys.

I went to my therapists yesterday and had some issues. I have been going once a week for about a year now. It was extremely hard for me to start going, I had been dragged to some t's when i was younger by my parents and made to join some group therapy stuff in middle school, all of which made me feel like some weirdo. then My mother also has had some serious mental issues which i have had a hard time dealing with. well anyway, I was talking with my T and he suggested that I might benefit from having 2 sessions a week instead of one. I was feeling like i was making progress in figuing out all of the stupid feelings and now I feel like I'm more of a crazy to need to go twice as much(I dont mean to call people crazy, I know there are some of you who go several times a week to a T.). I feel like it is a step backwards,when I've been working so hard going foward. also He suggested I lay down during our sessions. he said that most of his patients find it easier to focus on themselves laying down. I have always sat up during our sessions, and I'm not sure how comfortable i will be laying down. I was wondering if any of you, who go to a T, lay down durring your sessions, and if you think it helps or not. any responses would be helpful

Aardvark

 

[dwf]

Hi aardvark,

My therapy sessions are usually with me sitting in a chair, but sometimes also on a sofa. I don't remember if I have ever laid down, so maybe not.

Still I am comfortable enough with my T now, after a couple of years, that I could lie down if I wanted or needed to.

Something that has been very helpful to me is that I have found that is is sometimes more about me and my T reacting and responding to one another, rather than about how we eventually resolve such issues as laying down vs. sitting up etc.

By that I mean, for example, in this case you might want to express your discomfort with the idea of lying down. Discussing these type of very mundane, everyday responses to people who are trying to get close to you (as your T now doubt is) can be very instrumental in accessing similar feelings in regard to others in our lives.

As an example, why not just say "No, I don't feel right lying down.". I know for me, that would be a stretch of my interpersonal skills, because I am fearful of displeasing someone who is in a position of some authority over me.

However, by challenging myself to stretch in that way, I can allow access to underlying feelings that might also perhaps limit my emotional responses in more general ways.

One very big moment in the first year of my therapy was on the occasion of a missed appointment. It turned out that it was because my T had misscheduled.

My very normal, 'everything's OK' (and phony) response was to say "OH, that's all right." For some reason, that day I allowed my real feelings to well up inside me. Perhaps I no longer had the choice, who knows?

In any case, I was able to express anger, fear and sadness in that situation. Notice it started with anger. That's the least vulnerable of my emotions--for lots of men especially. Then the fear and sadness.

From that we were able to gain access and discuss in 'real' time, my feelings of anger at my father and other men who had 'not been there' for me. And then we were able to access the other feelings below the anger such as fear, that it was somehow my fault and sadness, that I would lose the love and support I so desperately needed.

Sorry to go on so long about this, but it's the type of thing that doesn't work in the abstract--otherwise reading about it in a psych textbook would cure us. It seems that it must be lived out in real space. That's what that room and the space between the therapist and the patient represents to me.

Hope some of this is helpful. Look at it this way, perhsps the T feels you are getting close to a breakthrough of some sort, or that you are making excellent progress and that why he's suggesting the double sessions.

I have done the double sessions before when needed.

Ask me some time about my psychological regimen! It's pretty damned extensive and expensive, but as the hair dye ad says, "I'm worth it!". LOL

Take care, you're on the right path and in the right place.

Regards,