Scott,
I'm sorry for the tough times just now. It's been crap for a while now for you, hasn't it?
I know the falling out you had with *someone* really hurt you, and him too, but I am very happy to see that that problem is going away. I think the same can happen for you with "Real Life" friends too. The way you reach out to help others here, in spite of your own hurt and pain, is a treasure many people will see in you.
Listen Scott, for what it's worth, I promise you, things DO and WILL get better.
There comes a point where you cross a line and the balance shifts and you are having more good days than bad. Then it's easier and easier.
I
think you cross a line. It might be that I was standing still, and waiting, and the line approached me and went right past me. Kind of like a sharp edge of Sunrise getting closer and closer and then it's on and over and past you.
Do you see what I mean? Yes, I did a lot of work, and I was looking for that line, and I was ready for it, but even if your back is turned, "daylight" comes.
Hang in there. It takes time. I won't bullsh*t you, it takes years, but you've started young and will have many years of happiness.
You will.
***************************
Jim,
Does anyone else feel the shame and isolation of doing what you believe is right, yet nearly everyone says is wrong, therefore the utlimate judge, God, must say it's wrong. I'm not so sure that isolation is really temporary.
I remember your previous posts, so I think I know what this is about, but whether I am right or not is irrelevant.
Let me start by saying that I may feel isolation by doing what I know is right, but never Shame. Never.
The thing is I just don't understand this kind of thinking. Especially when what nearly everyone says could simply be wrong. Majority rule may be fine for Democracy, but not for Individual Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. And then to assume that God must agree is just mind boggling to me.
How can anyone, any text, any organization presume to know what God thinks or must think? How can any mere mortal even presume to understand the nature of God, let alone his thoughts, reasons, or judgements?
Isn't the true nature of God that He is Unknowable; unfathomable? Don't be tyrannized by group think and "common knowledge".
Remember what Mark Twain said, "When you find youself standing with the majority, it's time to re-think your position."
***************************
Finally, Joan Collins played Edith Keeler, human, a social worker in Depression-era Chicago.
The episode was called "City on the Edge of Forever", one of the three best classic Star Trek episodes, in my opinion.
This was written by Harlan Ellison, one of the finest, most intelligent, most intriguing Science Fiction authors of the 60's and 70's. (I recommend his short story anthology, "The Glass Teat" as a good starter.)
BUT, I am getting to what she said: Let me Help.
We are really, really lucky if we ever run into someone who says that to us. It's easy and common for us to run away from anyone who says that, or to not truly trust them with what's wrong.
We dance around the truth, disguise it, minimize it, even deny it. And we tell ourselves no one cares, no one understands.
We harden ourselves so no one will ask anymore.
And we wait. Until the waiting is unbearable, and we finally can say, "Help me".
Some of us only go to therapists, some to spouses or friends, and some of us come here. Some do all of this.
And all to say, "See me, hear me, touch me, heal me." Help me.
Every word I read here helps me. Every word I write here helps me. I trust that they help others.
Yes, we are really, really lucky if we ever run into someone who says that to us. And we run into dozens of them every time we log on here.
Thanks to all,
Donald
and despair (among other things) whilst on the outside you may laugh at yourself with the others.