Fed up
I’m fed up I’ve had it. I feel the only solution now is to try to detach emotionally from my husband so that I won’t hate him but also will no longer be hurt by his detachment. There aren’t a lot of resources online about how to do this. Divorce doesn’t feel like the answer. We have two small kids and I stay home with them. My husband is a good father. He holds a job, helps around the house etc. He however is incapable of intimacy, honest, and giving a crap about my feelings. When I try to talk to him he tends to shut down and no say much. He will say he will do something but then doesn’t do it. He doesn’t take accountability for his mistakes. He was molested when he was 12 and I just realized that his parents are emotionally abusive to him. He works for them and they treated him like crap. He has been mistreated his whole life but it’s been 13 years and I’m out of patience.
i try to get him to change jobs. I tell him we should move away but he won’t do it. I’m tired of being in a marriage that has no depth to it. We work fine together with the day to day but there is no intimacy and I’m so lonely. He has gone to therapy a few times and will start to act like a normal person after a few months but then always quits going. This has happened 3 times. I’m to the point that I wish I never met him. He lies about stupid stuff so I feel like I can’t trust him and he will have the nerve to act hurt about it. He is always the victim. I just really want to detach and let go of my expectations that he is ever going to be capable of a loving relationship. I’m in the process of trying to find therapy for myself that we can afford but due to corona his pay has taken a major hit and we are already struggling. I can’t stand his parent. His mother is an ice box and only cares about appearances. She is is the definition of passive aggressive and she taught her my husband those behaviors. When I am upset he will ask me what’s wrong but as soon as he finds out that it’s because of some lie he told he shuts down. I don’t even know the whole thing is ridiculous. I just needed to vent to someone my family is far away and I feel like I married into an insane asylum.
i try to get him to change jobs. I tell him we should move away but he won’t do it. I’m tired of being in a marriage that has no depth to it. We work fine together with the day to day but there is no intimacy and I’m so lonely. He has gone to therapy a few times and will start to act like a normal person after a few months but then always quits going. This has happened 3 times. I’m to the point that I wish I never met him. He lies about stupid stuff so I feel like I can’t trust him and he will have the nerve to act hurt about it. He is always the victim. I just really want to detach and let go of my expectations that he is ever going to be capable of a loving relationship. I’m in the process of trying to find therapy for myself that we can afford but due to corona his pay has taken a major hit and we are already struggling. I can’t stand his parent. His mother is an ice box and only cares about appearances. She is is the definition of passive aggressive and she taught her my husband those behaviors. When I am upset he will ask me what’s wrong but as soon as he finds out that it’s because of some lie he told he shuts down. I don’t even know the whole thing is ridiculous. I just needed to vent to someone my family is far away and I feel like I married into an insane asylum.