fears recognized

[markgreyblue]

it's weird but i have recognized that in the past in relationships i have had irrational fears
- i think it is the sa and ea "talking" -
i keep on thinking - or least i have in the past
thought - and i am sure i will - that i am the only one experiencing this fear - or that I am absolutely the one in the relationship who is the the one with inteegrity - psycho of me- experience has taught me otherwise - thank goodness! and what a relief to realize the dynamism of relationships-
i have had irrational fears - despite the overwhelming "evidence" or actions that show a person wishes me well and wants what is best for me -

the slightest upset has freaked me out and made me
turn off or defensive - agressive unofortunately a destructive traight -

i realize now these reactions or even these tendencies - it's tough cause i will always be a bit paranoid - which i guess is healthy - but i want to see the majority - which is the good now too-

mgb

 

[The Dean]

MGB, the lack of trust leads us to have fears in relationships. We were ambushed, betrayed and violated, often by a person we thought we could trust absolutely.

You are learning about yourself and how you act in relationships. That sure sounds like really good progress to me.

We have to take a few risks in order to be able to trust a person. But, I think we keep the risk pretty small until we know we have a couple of truly faithful and safe friends.

Be safe! Be happy!

Bob

 

[markgreyblue]

thanks Bob - I really appreciate your comments

- mark gb

 

[survive75]

I've experienced similar feelings in past (and present) relationships. It's tough to break past the habits and beliefs that our brains have taken on to be truths.

Therapy has helped a lot in recognizing my controlling and clinging behaviors, but more important is how once I realized that they were based out of fear, and where the fear came from, the behaviors definately got better and less severe.

Keep working on it... it does get better!

-Sean