Scout Abuse Fear of
The Bluefoot
Registrant
I must have feed back quickly
This one I was not sure what heading to put under as it fit many different headings, Grooming, Boy Scouts, Mentoring, and acting out. Where I live now is still concerned the suburbs of NYC but distance about 45 miles north of the NYC board. Based on definition rule area is 50 out of a city. I live very different from my last two homes. As I grow up in The Bronx were I did go to the Boy Scouts, and lived until I was 17 then moved to Westchester county and lived until age 50 and now at age 57 further north of NYC. When I lived in Westchester it was on a main road near a school very busy during weekdays and quiet on weekends. Thou if it snowed we got plowed first.
Since all The sexual abuse I suffer happened when I lived in The Bronx, ages 6 to 17 and I lived in apartment building. I happy to live in a house and new way to live. Thou most of the mental abuse and my acting out and legal troubles accrued while living in the house in Westchester from ages 17 to 31. Plus I lost both my parents while living in that home I was 22 when my mother died and 48 when my dad died. I was 23 when my cat died. But good things happened there too. I graduated HS at age 18, college at 23, learned how to drive at 18, ran 7 different businesses, fell in love and got married, and adopted a son..
I love this house I live in now, very different then the last one, thou a little bit the same. Same size and similar design, but the rest is different more lands, this house on a dead end street a private road. a pool very few neighbors, no problems Until yesterday. I did not see this problem, One of my neighbor is a county farm. a very large farm of about 500 arcs. Owned by the county. I been on it they have a cooking school, and you can eat there, and walk around and look at animals and some art on the grounds. They also have small art fairs about 3 or 4 times a year. I hoping for a car show some day. The have had a tractor show. And once or twice a year a music festival.
Sorry for the long build up to this point. Here lies the problem today there is a music concert the music of Neil Diamond. The music will be very loud. I live about 4 city blocks away and will hear the music, I can deal with the traffic and usually with people and music. except I have a fear of a huge trigger today. The scout master who abused me for 2 years and force me to suck him when i was 17 was a Neil Diamond fan,. We as scouts would hear his music all the time to the point that I cant listen to it at all. now. I get sick to my stomach when I hear any part of his music in a store I have to run out Now I have a concert next door for 6 hours. 2pm to 8pm today. I know what you all say go away for the day. Not so simple my son who is 27 came home for the weekend., I have not seen him in 4 months he is recovering from an operation and is moving back in with in a few weeks and came to fix up his room and to be with his two dads.
He wants to go shopping for a new bed, the drug store, food, and kohl's and these store are all with in hearing of the music festival as they are o n the other side of the farm. Writing this so far I am sick already. I already getting flash backs, and anxiety attack. That SM real sewed me up for life. I am 57 years old and I have not seen him since I was 31 and he has not sexual abused me since I was 17 you think after 40 years I be ok to hear his music. BUT I GUESS NOT. I Have to be in hell today while my son is with me . I need help ::::
This one I was not sure what heading to put under as it fit many different headings, Grooming, Boy Scouts, Mentoring, and acting out. Where I live now is still concerned the suburbs of NYC but distance about 45 miles north of the NYC board. Based on definition rule area is 50 out of a city. I live very different from my last two homes. As I grow up in The Bronx were I did go to the Boy Scouts, and lived until I was 17 then moved to Westchester county and lived until age 50 and now at age 57 further north of NYC. When I lived in Westchester it was on a main road near a school very busy during weekdays and quiet on weekends. Thou if it snowed we got plowed first.
Since all The sexual abuse I suffer happened when I lived in The Bronx, ages 6 to 17 and I lived in apartment building. I happy to live in a house and new way to live. Thou most of the mental abuse and my acting out and legal troubles accrued while living in the house in Westchester from ages 17 to 31. Plus I lost both my parents while living in that home I was 22 when my mother died and 48 when my dad died. I was 23 when my cat died. But good things happened there too. I graduated HS at age 18, college at 23, learned how to drive at 18, ran 7 different businesses, fell in love and got married, and adopted a son..
I love this house I live in now, very different then the last one, thou a little bit the same. Same size and similar design, but the rest is different more lands, this house on a dead end street a private road. a pool very few neighbors, no problems Until yesterday. I did not see this problem, One of my neighbor is a county farm. a very large farm of about 500 arcs. Owned by the county. I been on it they have a cooking school, and you can eat there, and walk around and look at animals and some art on the grounds. They also have small art fairs about 3 or 4 times a year. I hoping for a car show some day. The have had a tractor show. And once or twice a year a music festival.
Sorry for the long build up to this point. Here lies the problem today there is a music concert the music of Neil Diamond. The music will be very loud. I live about 4 city blocks away and will hear the music, I can deal with the traffic and usually with people and music. except I have a fear of a huge trigger today. The scout master who abused me for 2 years and force me to suck him when i was 17 was a Neil Diamond fan,. We as scouts would hear his music all the time to the point that I cant listen to it at all. now. I get sick to my stomach when I hear any part of his music in a store I have to run out Now I have a concert next door for 6 hours. 2pm to 8pm today. I know what you all say go away for the day. Not so simple my son who is 27 came home for the weekend., I have not seen him in 4 months he is recovering from an operation and is moving back in with in a few weeks and came to fix up his room and to be with his two dads.
He wants to go shopping for a new bed, the drug store, food, and kohl's and these store are all with in hearing of the music festival as they are o n the other side of the farm. Writing this so far I am sick already. I already getting flash backs, and anxiety attack. That SM real sewed me up for life. I am 57 years old and I have not seen him since I was 31 and he has not sexual abused me since I was 17 you think after 40 years I be ok to hear his music. BUT I GUESS NOT. I Have to be in hell today while my son is with me . I need help ::::