FEAR/ANGER
Mike Church
Registrant
FEAR/ANGER
I want everyone one of my brothers here to read this. We have a lot of ANGER AT TIMJES IN US ALL. . Why is that? What stimulates ANGER.
Well I was speaking to a fellow survivor today and we talked about this. Why are we angry sometimes? Especially here at MaleSurvivor. Well it is likely we are 1 Angry at some external thing from MaleSurvivor. But internally it is usually because of something someone here has posted. WHY ARE WE ANGRY AT THAT. Could it be that we are afraid that what was said or indicated was close to the truth or that maybe we should take a look at what we are doing or saying. More importantly are WE ALL NOT AFRAID OF NOT SUCEEDING AND ACTUALLY AFRAID OF BEING SUCESSFUL.
Now not being successful in healing is self evident but lets look at the latter. What if we are successful. God what slippery ground that is. I mean how is that possible we know what we are. It is totally unknown to us and that is terrifying. IS THAT NOT STUPID IN US TO FEEL THAT WAY.
NOW I THINK THAT BASICALLY ALL MY BROTHERS HERE INCLUDING MYSELF FALL INTO FOUR BASIC CATEGORIES.
!- The person on command of things, The full speed ahead guy and damn the torpedoes. In a way this brother keeps emotion out of it. Deal with the issue and move on. A spade is a spade is a spade. An instructor so to speak; a leader; the soldier with a mission . He comes across as a strong person and can be admired for his direct approach. On the other hand he can also come across as insensitive and overbearing and uncaring and critical. Nothing could be farther from the truth. This is a persona that he has developed to cope with life. I am in control and someone has be to in control. I am strong , I am determined but I NEED TO BELONG NEED THE COMFORT OF OTHERS AND THE CAMERADERIE OF THE BROTHERHOOD BUT I AM AFRAID THAT SENSITIVITY, EMOTIONS AND UNDERSTANDING COUCHED IN SOFTER TERMS WOULD BE CONSTRUED AS WEAKNESS. AND WEAK PEOPLE ARE PERCIEVED BY ME AS WIMPS. Bullshit. I want to do it but am scared to try. What if I am successful at it. God help me what will I become. When some suggest getting in touch with my emotions or say they understand or care and that I belong I get angry despite the truth. So I lash out without thinking or come across as domineering or worse.
2- The sensitive brother who is in touch with his emotions and is mindful of the needs of others. This brother is usually artistic and creative and who is generous in his concern understanding and compassion for others. This brother is quick to assist and be there for others and usually and unfortunately never does this for himself. Why? HE IS AFRAID THAT HE MIGHT BE RIGHT AND IF HE TAKES HIS OWN ADVICE HE WILL BE ON VERY SLIPPERY GROUND. I will have to take charge of my life and meet things head on and deal with them. DO I SOUND FAMILIAR. Look above. WHAT IF I AM SUCESSFUL. GOD HELP ME WHAT IF I FAIL. My response to 1 is ANGER BECAUSE OF MY FEARS. I NEED TO BELONG AND I NEED COMFORT AND THE CAMERADERIE OF THE BROTHERHOOD AND TO APPEAR TO BE STRONG AND CAPABLE. But I am afraid I will appear to be 1 and that goes against my belief system. RESULT I LASH OUT. Am I so different from 1.
3- The numbed out brother. Life has kicked him in the balls so often and crapped all over him or he has retreated to numbness intentionally to seek refuge from life. He is in his eyes a non event. There is the appearance of no emotion or feelings or concern for others he is just here. BULLSHIT NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. He is caring concerned thoughtful and wants to be direct and honest and admired and to belong. I COME ACROSS AS INSENSITIVE UNCARING UNEMOTIONAL AND A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS BECAUSE I APPEAR TO REACT TO NOTHING. I JUST GO ON AND ON AND ON AND SEEM TO BE STUCK IN NEUTRAL. WHEN GET A POST OR REPLY I SHOWING CONCERN OR COMPASSION OR DIRECTION REACT IN ANGER. MY ANGER IS TO WITHDRAW FOR A TIME OR LEAVE COMPLETELY. Why? I AM AFRAID OF COMING OUT OF THE NUMB SHELL OR OF FALING TO. What do I need. To belong to be sensitive to be caring to appear to be strong and successful AND TO BE ADMIRED. BOT THAT IS SLIPPERY GROUND. Sound familiar. 1 and 2 above.
4,- The new brother just arrived. Unfortunately there is a continuing supply of those and that is the topic for another day. HE IS BOUNCING ALL OVER LIKE A PING PONG BALL AND A PUBLIC BINGO HALL. He is trying to come to grips with his life and make sense of everything. This is a new thing to him and he is afraid of everything. SO WHO DOES HE MEET HERE. ME THE LEADER AND DOMINANT PERSONALITY, ME THE CARING AND COMPASSIONATE PERSONALITY AND ME THE PERSON WHO DOES NOT APPEAR TO GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT HIM AND SEEMS TO BE MIRED IN NEUTRAL. Does he get angry. You bet he does. Here he has finally found a spot where he might get help and be understood . I NEED TO BELONG I NEED COMFORT I NEED CAMERADERIE AND I WANT TO BE STRONG AND CAPABLE AND I MUST BE PREPARED TO BE NUMB AT TIMES. Sound familiar. See 1 2 and 3 above. Yeh I get angry but more importantly I get terrified. I just cannot handle all of this. WHAT DO I DO. I LURK A BIT AND IF I DONT MAKE THE RIGHT CONNECTION I LEAVE ANGERED AND FRUSTRATED BY ANOTHER DEAD END.
My brothers we are all here for the same reason. Our ECO CHALLENGE IS TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN OF SHAME AND DECETE AND BROKEN TRUST TO SWIM THROUGH THE RIVER OF THE FILTH OF SA AND TO TREK THROUGH THE JUNGLE OF DANGEROUS FEELINGS AND BELIEFS WITHOUT BEING EATEN ALIVE AND ARRIVE AT THE OTHER SIDE WHERE WE SHOULD BE.
Now that is quite a challenge. And we are doing it together. In any eco challenge there are times when each and every one in a group has to show leadership commitment understanding compassion purpose desire and be capable of numbing out to achieve the goal. Does that all sound familiar. Interestingly the US Navy Seals have entered a team in each and every real eco challenge and they have never finished one let alone won one. Why. Because they cannot accept diverse roles.
So lets all think of the following when we get upset or fly of the handle or whatever
I- Is what is being said or done close to the truth no matter how much it hurts me to REALIZE IT.
II- Can I pause to recognize this
III- What is the basis of my fear
IV- How do I address it
V- I must lead at times
VI- I must be non judgemental
VII- To be compassionate and mindful of others feelings is not a sign of weakness
VIII- We are all different
IX- Nobody here intentionally means to hurt someone
X- I AM PART OF THIS FAMILY OF BROTHERS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE AND I CANNOT AND/OR DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THIS CHALLENGE BY MYSELF
IN CLOSING I THINK THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO ASK ALL GUESTS TO AGAIN CONSIDER JOINING MALESURVIVOR AS MEMBERS SO THAT WE CAN BECOME STRONG AND A VOICE TO BE HEARD. REMEMBER WE ARE ADDITIONALLY HERE FOR THOSE YET TO FIND US.
I want everyone one of my brothers here to read this. We have a lot of ANGER AT TIMJES IN US ALL. . Why is that? What stimulates ANGER.
Well I was speaking to a fellow survivor today and we talked about this. Why are we angry sometimes? Especially here at MaleSurvivor. Well it is likely we are 1 Angry at some external thing from MaleSurvivor. But internally it is usually because of something someone here has posted. WHY ARE WE ANGRY AT THAT. Could it be that we are afraid that what was said or indicated was close to the truth or that maybe we should take a look at what we are doing or saying. More importantly are WE ALL NOT AFRAID OF NOT SUCEEDING AND ACTUALLY AFRAID OF BEING SUCESSFUL.
Now not being successful in healing is self evident but lets look at the latter. What if we are successful. God what slippery ground that is. I mean how is that possible we know what we are. It is totally unknown to us and that is terrifying. IS THAT NOT STUPID IN US TO FEEL THAT WAY.
NOW I THINK THAT BASICALLY ALL MY BROTHERS HERE INCLUDING MYSELF FALL INTO FOUR BASIC CATEGORIES.
!- The person on command of things, The full speed ahead guy and damn the torpedoes. In a way this brother keeps emotion out of it. Deal with the issue and move on. A spade is a spade is a spade. An instructor so to speak; a leader; the soldier with a mission . He comes across as a strong person and can be admired for his direct approach. On the other hand he can also come across as insensitive and overbearing and uncaring and critical. Nothing could be farther from the truth. This is a persona that he has developed to cope with life. I am in control and someone has be to in control. I am strong , I am determined but I NEED TO BELONG NEED THE COMFORT OF OTHERS AND THE CAMERADERIE OF THE BROTHERHOOD BUT I AM AFRAID THAT SENSITIVITY, EMOTIONS AND UNDERSTANDING COUCHED IN SOFTER TERMS WOULD BE CONSTRUED AS WEAKNESS. AND WEAK PEOPLE ARE PERCIEVED BY ME AS WIMPS. Bullshit. I want to do it but am scared to try. What if I am successful at it. God help me what will I become. When some suggest getting in touch with my emotions or say they understand or care and that I belong I get angry despite the truth. So I lash out without thinking or come across as domineering or worse.
2- The sensitive brother who is in touch with his emotions and is mindful of the needs of others. This brother is usually artistic and creative and who is generous in his concern understanding and compassion for others. This brother is quick to assist and be there for others and usually and unfortunately never does this for himself. Why? HE IS AFRAID THAT HE MIGHT BE RIGHT AND IF HE TAKES HIS OWN ADVICE HE WILL BE ON VERY SLIPPERY GROUND. I will have to take charge of my life and meet things head on and deal with them. DO I SOUND FAMILIAR. Look above. WHAT IF I AM SUCESSFUL. GOD HELP ME WHAT IF I FAIL. My response to 1 is ANGER BECAUSE OF MY FEARS. I NEED TO BELONG AND I NEED COMFORT AND THE CAMERADERIE OF THE BROTHERHOOD AND TO APPEAR TO BE STRONG AND CAPABLE. But I am afraid I will appear to be 1 and that goes against my belief system. RESULT I LASH OUT. Am I so different from 1.
3- The numbed out brother. Life has kicked him in the balls so often and crapped all over him or he has retreated to numbness intentionally to seek refuge from life. He is in his eyes a non event. There is the appearance of no emotion or feelings or concern for others he is just here. BULLSHIT NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. He is caring concerned thoughtful and wants to be direct and honest and admired and to belong. I COME ACROSS AS INSENSITIVE UNCARING UNEMOTIONAL AND A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS BECAUSE I APPEAR TO REACT TO NOTHING. I JUST GO ON AND ON AND ON AND SEEM TO BE STUCK IN NEUTRAL. WHEN GET A POST OR REPLY I SHOWING CONCERN OR COMPASSION OR DIRECTION REACT IN ANGER. MY ANGER IS TO WITHDRAW FOR A TIME OR LEAVE COMPLETELY. Why? I AM AFRAID OF COMING OUT OF THE NUMB SHELL OR OF FALING TO. What do I need. To belong to be sensitive to be caring to appear to be strong and successful AND TO BE ADMIRED. BOT THAT IS SLIPPERY GROUND. Sound familiar. 1 and 2 above.
4,- The new brother just arrived. Unfortunately there is a continuing supply of those and that is the topic for another day. HE IS BOUNCING ALL OVER LIKE A PING PONG BALL AND A PUBLIC BINGO HALL. He is trying to come to grips with his life and make sense of everything. This is a new thing to him and he is afraid of everything. SO WHO DOES HE MEET HERE. ME THE LEADER AND DOMINANT PERSONALITY, ME THE CARING AND COMPASSIONATE PERSONALITY AND ME THE PERSON WHO DOES NOT APPEAR TO GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT HIM AND SEEMS TO BE MIRED IN NEUTRAL. Does he get angry. You bet he does. Here he has finally found a spot where he might get help and be understood . I NEED TO BELONG I NEED COMFORT I NEED CAMERADERIE AND I WANT TO BE STRONG AND CAPABLE AND I MUST BE PREPARED TO BE NUMB AT TIMES. Sound familiar. See 1 2 and 3 above. Yeh I get angry but more importantly I get terrified. I just cannot handle all of this. WHAT DO I DO. I LURK A BIT AND IF I DONT MAKE THE RIGHT CONNECTION I LEAVE ANGERED AND FRUSTRATED BY ANOTHER DEAD END.
My brothers we are all here for the same reason. Our ECO CHALLENGE IS TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN OF SHAME AND DECETE AND BROKEN TRUST TO SWIM THROUGH THE RIVER OF THE FILTH OF SA AND TO TREK THROUGH THE JUNGLE OF DANGEROUS FEELINGS AND BELIEFS WITHOUT BEING EATEN ALIVE AND ARRIVE AT THE OTHER SIDE WHERE WE SHOULD BE.
Now that is quite a challenge. And we are doing it together. In any eco challenge there are times when each and every one in a group has to show leadership commitment understanding compassion purpose desire and be capable of numbing out to achieve the goal. Does that all sound familiar. Interestingly the US Navy Seals have entered a team in each and every real eco challenge and they have never finished one let alone won one. Why. Because they cannot accept diverse roles.
So lets all think of the following when we get upset or fly of the handle or whatever
I- Is what is being said or done close to the truth no matter how much it hurts me to REALIZE IT.
II- Can I pause to recognize this
III- What is the basis of my fear
IV- How do I address it
V- I must lead at times
VI- I must be non judgemental
VII- To be compassionate and mindful of others feelings is not a sign of weakness
VIII- We are all different
IX- Nobody here intentionally means to hurt someone
X- I AM PART OF THIS FAMILY OF BROTHERS BECAUSE I WANT TO BE AND I CANNOT AND/OR DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THIS CHALLENGE BY MYSELF
IN CLOSING I THINK THIS IS A GOOD TIME TO ASK ALL GUESTS TO AGAIN CONSIDER JOINING MALESURVIVOR AS MEMBERS SO THAT WE CAN BECOME STRONG AND A VOICE TO BE HEARD. REMEMBER WE ARE ADDITIONALLY HERE FOR THOSE YET TO FIND US.
I've done 26 years as a fitter and I'm too old and grumpy to be considered for promotion ( the company's run by friggin kids 
)