Fear and ridicule.

Fear and ridicule.
S

survive75

Registrant
I have to admit something to you all that is really difficult for me. It's something that I am ashamed of, but have little control over. I have a serious fear of spiders. It is better than it was after some work on it in therapy, but it still presents problems for me. There was a major incident with one yesterday at work during a staff meeting. I controlled my panic response fairly well for me, but I still reacted. I know I couldn't have controlled it any better.

This, of course, led to panic over anticipation of ridicule from co-workers. Coming into work today was torture. I have issues with one guy in particular... and I knew he would say something. And, of course, he did... fucker. (To be fair, another co-worker said that even people who didn't have a problem with spiders would have had a problem at that meeting... it was that bad.)

So I'm on overdrive right now... fearing more ridicule and everything that catches my eye. I know this must sound so pathetic. I hate that I have this fear. It brings up a lot of names that my stepdad called me as a kid... pussy, girl, faggot... and I feel they all aptly describe me today. There is a lot of residual stuff that I deal with around this fear... symptoms that I know are related to the SA. I've worked on it off and on in therapy which, like I said, has helped. I guess I just need to hear that it is okay that this happened from people who are not going to ridicule me right now. It is really tough to be at work today. I'm sorry this is so pathetic.
 
no worries sean - you would be surprised what your co workers are would be afraid of if they were honest -

there's nothing wrong with fears - you are working on yours and it seems like you did a
stellar job yesterday considering the seriousness of your fears -

way to go dude!!!!!!!!

you did just great!

the guy who made issue of it sounds like he is emotionally a 6 year old - doubt he will go very far anyway - sounds like a bad guy -
 
Don't laugh.

I'm scared of fish. If I go swiming up at Pyramid or Walker Lake fish will come up and swim by me or nible my toes or something and that's it, I am out of the water. I've even been known to shreek like a little girl when this happens.
 
Sean,

You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to feel bad about.

That jerk? He's probably got some fears he's never going to admit until they come out in public. You reminded him of that, and he couldn't stand it. Either that, or he's just an @$$hole.

I've an incredible fear of bees, hornets, wasps, anything that stings, actually. I respond in one of three ways. I scream like a little mary, I freeze or run as fast as my legs will carry me, or I'll go into hysterical aggresive reaction overdrive and literally destroy a room trying to kill the little f**ker.

Makes me REEEEEEEEEAAAALLLYYYYY popular at friends' houses. :D

There's no shame in having fears. Everybody has 'em. Unless you're that one person who says they don't. Then you're a liar.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Thanks guys. As always, thanks.
 
Hi, Sean. I think you got nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has fears. If they say they don't, then they're liars. Plain and simple. The moron at work, he's one of many assholes in the world that think they need to shit on everyone's parade. What an idiot he is, and he knows it, as do everyone he comes into contact with. As you can see, he's the one that's pathetic.

My fears? Spiders are right there at the top of the list. I HATE walking into cobwebs the little buggers tend to build across my sidewalk. :mad: I look like I'm fighting a ghost when I do it. :rolleyes: And snakes - I hate any and all snakes - there is no "good" snake.
 
I share the same fear. Spiders have made me scream like a banshee. I am trying to work on my fear, and I am improving. If the spiders are itty bitty, I am okay. But Bigger than a quarter, and I am terrified. My brother had one in a jar and asked if I knew what kind it is, (I believe he did not mean to scare me) and it was big and gross and, well, icky. I almost fell out of my chair getting away from it. Makes me shutter thinking about it. I never thought of mentioning this to my T.

I have a sister-in-law, love her to death, who teases me about my fear of spiders. But, she is terrified of moths. (A moth!?!?!?!?) She was almost in a car accident because a moth landed on her hand in a car. I bring that up, and we have a truce.

Casey
 
Sean,
You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I was recently exactly like scott, anything with a stinger would freak me out totally and make me feel helpless. I would run as far and fast as I could. But now, I let anger control those feelings, now I chase the bees and such and kill them any way I can. I look like a fool doing it sometimes, and when I'm doing it, I don't care. I did invest in a very large amount of flying insect spray, about $600 worth. My point is, we all have fears, things that freak us out, scare the hell out of us. It just seems to be a more prevelant part of our lives than others.
 
Ok, I am very 'OCD' about being clean, and bugs are NOT clean in my world. So I am not happy with any bugs, or spiders or such. I am rather creeped out by cats. Kind of sure why, and it's not any cat's fault,but I am. I'm afraid of horses, because they are just way to big to sit on and make behave! And I am still quite scared of water, to the point I only start taking baths this past few months (always done showers).

ANyway, I do not think a phobia is at all something to ridicule.

leosha
 
I absolutely freak over bees and wasps. I've even had one or two chase me and wait outside buildings for me. This past year saw us move to an area where there are Black Widow spiders. My son keeps on reminding me to check my shoes because there are Black Widow spiders every where! I haven't told him about the rattle snakes that live in the hills behind us! Three weeks ago we visited Toronto and the same son convinced me that I absolutely had to ride with him to the top of the CN Tower.
BIG MISTAKE! I really don't like heights either.
Now I sound like a total coward. Best, Andrew
 
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