Father know best? At least he is dead

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Dale M

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This is a first step for me so it will not be all inclusive......I will post more when I am more comfortable.
I was abused sexually by my Father from the time I was 5 up until I was an adult. This happened on a regular basis....often multiple times per week. At one point I almost spoke up and told my mother what was going on....but I was so afraid that it would tear the family apart and it would have been my fault. So I endured the abuse year after year. I was forced to give and receive oral sex.....I was fucked in the ass....you name it, if it could happen between 2 males it happened with me and my father. It was many years before I told anyone about the abuse. The first person I told was my second wife. That totally backfired on me. She became jealous of what went on with me and my father....and in addition and perhaps the worst of it is that she kept accusing me of molesting her son..who at the time was under 10. I don't know if it is true with others in here, but that is the last thing I would ever consider....having someone in my trust go through what I did? That is never going to happen. My father died in 1989 of cancer. He didn't live long enough for me to reach a point where I could tell him how bad he fucked up my life and that is very unfortunate even though I am glad (dancing a jig kind of glad) that he is dead. I have seen a couple of therapist (which did nothing) and told my current wife of my past....and that is all except those that read this post. I have so much more I want to get out but for now this is enough. Thanks for reading.
 
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