Father, Consensual Experience?

[daltonjames]

I’m looking for others to discuss my very personal situation. I’ve searched these forums and have not been able to find one like mine. A lot to look through.I am a gay male.
My father and I had a sexual encounter when I was about 16. Thing is, I instigated it while hugging him. Only happened that one time. Then many years later, for a long weekend we messed around 4 times when I was about 35 years old. Am I alone or others whom have had similar bonding experiences with thier real dad? It felt completely consensual. Or am I miss guided in my thinking? My father has since passed. We never discussed it and had a solid relationship. I think about all the time. Would like to talk with someone with similar experiences.

 

[Samson360]

Well I can't say I ever had any experience like that with my father but when I was nine years old my 19-year-old male cousin began molesting me. At first I really enjoyed the attention and I enjoyed being naked with him and seeing his really big Dick between his legs. I also enjoyed it when we laid in bed naked and I would massage his genitals while he massaged mine. He molested me until I was 11 years old and I know that it really messed me up when it came to normal sexual behavior. I dated girls but have never had sex with them. I only had one gay sexual experience with my best friend but I prefer to see naked men so up come to accept that maybe I've been gay all my life and have just been in denial. I hope you find someone on here with a more similar experience like yours.

 

[Greybeard]

I remember trying to make out with my dad at around the same age. We were travelling somewhere, sharing a hotel room. I climbed into his bed in the morning before he was awake and started grinding into him. But he did not respond like your father, he was very pissed off, pushed me away and barked at me. The situation was also very different, I had been abused before that, and had become hypersexualized. My dad knew nothing about any of that, of course. I;m not sure he even realized what I was up to, he seemed mostly angry that I had woken him up.

 

[daltonjames]

Well I can't say I ever had any experience like that with my father but when I was nine years old my 19-year-old male cousin began molesting me. At first I really enjoyed the attention and I enjoyed being naked with him and seeing his really big Dick between his legs. I also enjoyed it when we laid in bed naked and I would massage his genitals while he massaged mine. He molested me until I was 11 years old and I know that it really messed me up when it came to normal sexual behavior. I dated girls but have never had sex with them. I only had one gay sexual experience with my best friend but I prefer to see naked men so up come to accept that maybe I've been gay all my life and have just been in denial. I hope you find someone on here with a more similar experience like yours.

Thanks for the response. Wish you all the best.

 

[daltonjames]

I remember trying to make out with my dad at around the same age. We were travelling somewhere, sharing a hotel room. I climbed into his bed in the morning before he was awake and started grinding into him. But he did not respond like your father, he was very pissed off, pushed me away and barked at me. The situation was also very different, I had been abused before that, and had become hypersexualized. My dad knew nothing about any of that, of course. I;m not sure he even realized what I was up to, he seemed mostly angry that I had woken him up.

Thanks for the reply. I have a good life and head on straight, so to speak. No regrets and I enjoyed every moment with my dad. The experiences we shared were such an amazing bonding experience for me.

 

[davids1]

I just saw this post. I relate in a way. I've never had sex with my father, but I have tried when I was 13yrs old. My abuse at 8yrs old hypersexualized me. Anytime my Day came in the bathroom, and I was in the tub I would spring a boner, he would ignore it. I carried a lot of shame and guilt for years about trying to "seduce" my dad, even though I didn't know what I was doing. I'm glad he never reacted to me about always exposing my erections to him. I finally told someone about it this year, my T. I am now 74yrs old and I have carried this shame and guilt my whole life. My therapist was surprised my dad never seemed interested in finding out why I Was doing that. I Wanted to be seen and loved by him, I just went about it the wrong way. My abuser taught me that I got attention from men through sex. When I came out to both my parents at 21-22yrs old, my mother told me that God hated me, and I was going to hell. I haven't been to church since then. My dad never said a word to me, he took care of my mother and comforted her because she was crying about what she did wrong. I never discussed it with him again. At least I told another person this year and now you guys. It hurts a little, but the fear is big, but I'll do it anyway because I don't want to be controlled by the fear. Thank you.

 

[daltonjames]

I just saw this post. I relate in a way. I've never had sex with my father, but I have tried when I was 13yrs old. My abuse at 8yrs old hypersexualized me. Anytime my Day came in the bathroom, and I was in the tub I would spring a boner, he would ignore it. I carried a lot of shame and guilt for years about trying to "seduce" my dad, even though I didn't know what I was doing. I'm glad he never reacted to me about always exposing my erections to him. I finally told someone about it this year, my T. I am now 74yrs old and I have carried this shame and guilt my whole life. My therapist was surprised my dad never seemed interested in finding out why I Was doing that. I Wanted to be seen and loved by him, I just went about it the wrong way. My abuser taught me that I got attention from men through sex. When I came out to both my parents at 21-22yrs old, my mother told me that God hated me, and I was going to hell. I haven't been to church since then. My dad never said a word to me, he took care of my mother and comforted her because she was crying about what she did wrong. I never discussed it with him again. At least I told another person this year and now you guys. It hurts a little, but the fear is big, but I'll do it anyway because I don't want to be controlled by the fear. Thank you.

Thanks for your reply and story. Life can be tough. I have been very fortunate. My parents and family fully accepted me coming at gay very young. My sexual experience with my father was consensual on my part while a teenager and as a grown mature adult. It is a closeness that felt very normal. I feel no shame over it and have expressed to my father he should not either. I am so greatful for those bonding moments that I needed. Best of luck to you.

 

[Bornfree]

Thanks for your reply and story. Life can be tough. I have been very fortunate. My parents and family fully accepted me coming at gay very young. My sexual experience with my father was consensual on my part while a teenager and as a grown mature adult. It is a closeness that felt very normal. I feel no shame over it and have expressed to my father he should not either. I am so greatful for those bonding moments that I needed. Best of luck to you.

I have heard of situations like yours before, but never really knew what the outcome was. I know with me, because of my previous abuses, if my father and I tried something, I would have frozen. I remember him asking me one day when I was 15, if I was gay. I was mortified! I was thinking in my mind that if I said maybe, or yes, he would have kicked me out of the house! Thing is, because of my encephalitis, I was struggling every day with my school studies. I never had time for a girl friend or really a "boy" friend. I tried to have some sort of friend ships with other kids, but I could never keep anything going. I don't know if it was me, if it had been me beecause of my sexual abuses somehow coming to the surface that I did not see, but anyways, I just spent my time doing my studies. Any free time I had, I would go for bike rides, a source of escape for me from the stresses I had from school, and from home. If my father had genuinely asked if I was gay, because then he thought that maybe I would like some contact from him, I don't know. In the end, I stuttered out a "No!" from a rather squeaky voice! Could it have been a bonding relationship? I don't know. I also had frustrations with my father refusing to help me with my work, so if we had tried something, it could have backfired. I have fantasized thought what it would be like. What did you do that you liked best that helped you bond?