farewell
theo
Registrant
to everyone here,
i really don't know what to do anymore. i came to this site many months ago because i was hurting and longing for a place to be understood and to feel safe. i don't feel safe here anymore because of the ongoing hostility regarding the perceived discrepancies in boundary maintainance. for many months this was a place of refuge where i could come and realize that the usual hostilities "out there" would not be found here. here was a place where survivors and there partners could support each other and mutual respect would be the norm. lately it has become a virtual battleground. to my brothers, i know the pain and confusion that brought us here and the need to have our boundaries explicitly honored. i know the confusion of trying to respond to the women who come here seeking answers for their partners who they share their journey with and want to understand. i do know the same sense of unwanted boundary crossing sometimes with some of the issues i have brought up here. only a brother can understand the specific hell of some of the abuse. i have felt violated in the past by many women i have known and as such have developed a distrust in many ways because i could not understand a fundamental difference between those women who violated me and those who came here. the difference is that the women here have bent over backward to respect my needs once they became aware of it. only lady theo has done that for me in my life. this was the only place that i found that i could get a glimpse of what a real woman could be as opposed to the distortion i was beaten with. now though it is not safe for me to come here because that openness and mutual courtesy seems to be lost. i cannot come to a place to feel safe where i see so much of the same pain i grew up with. for me it was sufficient that policies be clearly stated and any confusion cleared up with decency and courtesy. now it seems as though there is a potential flame war every week. i can't take it any more. i will maintain the pm board for those who still wish to contact me and those here i have trusted with my personal e-mail are welcome to stay in touch, but i just cannot remain in a place i once thought was safe. take care everyone. i trust that those who know me here understand that i am not trying to start another war or point fingers or lay guilt, we all have far too much of that. i only want to say farewell and expalin why. i do care a great deal for everyone i have met here and hope and pray that you still find comfort here where i can't anymore.
i really don't know what to do anymore. i came to this site many months ago because i was hurting and longing for a place to be understood and to feel safe. i don't feel safe here anymore because of the ongoing hostility regarding the perceived discrepancies in boundary maintainance. for many months this was a place of refuge where i could come and realize that the usual hostilities "out there" would not be found here. here was a place where survivors and there partners could support each other and mutual respect would be the norm. lately it has become a virtual battleground. to my brothers, i know the pain and confusion that brought us here and the need to have our boundaries explicitly honored. i know the confusion of trying to respond to the women who come here seeking answers for their partners who they share their journey with and want to understand. i do know the same sense of unwanted boundary crossing sometimes with some of the issues i have brought up here. only a brother can understand the specific hell of some of the abuse. i have felt violated in the past by many women i have known and as such have developed a distrust in many ways because i could not understand a fundamental difference between those women who violated me and those who came here. the difference is that the women here have bent over backward to respect my needs once they became aware of it. only lady theo has done that for me in my life. this was the only place that i found that i could get a glimpse of what a real woman could be as opposed to the distortion i was beaten with. now though it is not safe for me to come here because that openness and mutual courtesy seems to be lost. i cannot come to a place to feel safe where i see so much of the same pain i grew up with. for me it was sufficient that policies be clearly stated and any confusion cleared up with decency and courtesy. now it seems as though there is a potential flame war every week. i can't take it any more. i will maintain the pm board for those who still wish to contact me and those here i have trusted with my personal e-mail are welcome to stay in touch, but i just cannot remain in a place i once thought was safe. take care everyone. i trust that those who know me here understand that i am not trying to start another war or point fingers or lay guilt, we all have far too much of that. i only want to say farewell and expalin why. i do care a great deal for everyone i have met here and hope and pray that you still find comfort here where i can't anymore.
