Fallin apart

Fallin apart
E

endlessjourney

Registrant
I guess in recovery, you tend to fall in and out of all of the little spells that come with it. I spent a whole summer of partying my a.. off and evading my issues around my abuse as a child. Its almost as if I feel like I can't concentrate on my studies. I can't remember much while taking tests but I think the main issue is that I have trouble bringing myself to sit down and study because it is so anxiety provoking. This is my fifth year in college and I've been working full time and living on my own through out all of my carreer and now, its like I can't bring myself to concentrate anymore. Any advice for me to help and chill the hell out and start crackin on my homework? :mad:
 
Focus on the outcome. You'll want to graduate. So, remember that every assignment completes a class that completes your degree. Don't let the little things get you sidetracked. The alternative is to go to work full-time and take a class or two each quarter for years till your done. You don't wanna do that, trust me.
 
EJ,

In university the work is all divided up into different classes and courses. Maybe it would help if you try to concentrate on the immediate tasks at hand instead of focusing on how forlorn things look when you gaze at the whole picture. Lack of ability to concentrate and a gift for procrastination is a huge issue for some survivors (I could write a book), so watch out for excuses to delay and go party or divert yourself from tasks you need to do. Try also to be positive about yourself and what you have achieved despite your difficulties. It is so easy for us to tear ourselves down.

In your university is there assistance for students who need help with abuse histories or emotional difficulties? It might help you a lot just to talk to someone who can offer professional guidance. There is no shame or fault in asking for the help you need.

Take care,
Larry
 
How about finding a study partner from one of your current or previous classes? I've found having someone else in the room who is studying helps me to focus. One trick that seems to help is coming up with a simple answer to this question. What "needs" done right now ... study ... graduate. I didn't get a sense of you still partying your ass off ... but just lay off the drinking ... at least until after the quarter/semester is over.
 
What has helped me has been to lump the courses together in a way I can manage. For example, English and History are easy for me, so I max out my schedule with these. As I have had to take Anatomy and Physiology, which are harder, I take just those courses in order to focus. Or take 1 hard course with several easy ones. Also, there are awsome sites for tutorial help. PM me and I will give you some sites. ;)

Good luck, I've been going since 1996, so I relate totally!!!
 
Thanks for the insight, I've been facing my abuse issues throughout all of college. Its almost like a third job. However, I'm sure you can relate to the sense of dignity it instills in you as you keep on fighting no matter how rough it gets. Yea, send me some sights, I think they would be motivational for me. I need to get my ass in gear because this is my last year and I need to increase my GPA by .3 to get into grad school. by the way, I'm going to U.C. for pyschology and personnel and industrial relations, and you?
:cool:
 
Probably doesn't apply to you, but I found out in college that I'm a perfectionist. Sure wouldn't know that from the stuff I do now, but I got sick one semester and had to cut back on my hours. I was a model student. I outlined the books of my two classes, wrote great papers and was at the top of both classes. I amazed even me....and they were science classes and I was a drama major. Go figure. Even the professors talked to me as though I had some sense. What I figured out that semester was that, if I wasn't doing as well as I thought I should, I just gave up. I couldn't stand not doing well, so I just didn't. I cut one class forty times....maybe I didn't even go. My point is....it's not always good to bite off more than you can chew. It sounds great to say that you're taking eleventy million hours and holding down a full-time job and not sleeping and you don't know how you're doing it, and some people can do that. Good for them!!! Rah, rah, and all that. But, I learned my limits and who I was, and it felt so good to acutally have time to work up to my potential in a class....do it right....that I never wanted to go back to the old way. That said, I was a drama major, and had plays to be in, and scenery to paint, etc., so I never got to do that again. But I learned an important lesson about over extending. It ain't necessarily a good thing. And don't forget that dealing with abuse is a full-time job, too. Two of my friends....who have some money....just decided to go to inpatient therapy to the tune of about 40,000 dollars for a month of therapy. Talk about envy. But, save some time for that, if you can. Mine gets so bottled up if I ignore it that eventually it comes pouring out of me when I least expect it...and that can be really messy. Good luck.

Bobby

Bobby
 
Hang in there. Once day at a time and try not to be too hard on yourself, although I know that is not easy. I know what it is like to feel like you HAVE to succeed in order to be loved. I have done this for most of my life and it put be in the hospital for high blood pressure. I'm 29!

Take it easy and remember to find some time for exercise.

Good luck!
 
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