Enmeshment? (possible triggers)
Seeking Truths
New Registrant
I have not yet confronted my mother about my recollection of her abuse she perpetrated on me. The reasons why are:
(1) I am concerned about hurting her feelings or how she would react, which, I know, is evidence of enmeshment; and
(2) accused, she would deny it, attempt to write it off as some bipolar delusion, then in general invalidate me. Then she would invoke the Mormon notions of "guilt and shame" on me, and then refuse to take my calls, leaving me no recourse except to write off the possibility of closure; and
(3) One or two of my memories are quite clear, and the pattern of her attempting but the others are fuzzy. However, I cannot be sure they actually happened. I am hesitant to accuse anyone of abuse based on fuzzy memories, even if all evidence points to its occurrence.
Normally, I would break down a pink elephant that was so upsetting to me. I've done this with my dad about some things. But forcing the issues upon my mother seems frightening. I'm actually feeling dizzy writing this.
I have some possible solutions in mind, but I would rather participants relate to me their own experiences solving this issue.
Thoughts?
(1) I am concerned about hurting her feelings or how she would react, which, I know, is evidence of enmeshment; and
(2) accused, she would deny it, attempt to write it off as some bipolar delusion, then in general invalidate me. Then she would invoke the Mormon notions of "guilt and shame" on me, and then refuse to take my calls, leaving me no recourse except to write off the possibility of closure; and
(3) One or two of my memories are quite clear, and the pattern of her attempting but the others are fuzzy. However, I cannot be sure they actually happened. I am hesitant to accuse anyone of abuse based on fuzzy memories, even if all evidence points to its occurrence.
Normally, I would break down a pink elephant that was so upsetting to me. I've done this with my dad about some things. But forcing the issues upon my mother seems frightening. I'm actually feeling dizzy writing this.
I have some possible solutions in mind, but I would rather participants relate to me their own experiences solving this issue.
Thoughts?