EMDR Therapy
I have been requested to talk about my experience with EMDR. I am happy to do this. But, as always, my results might not be your results.
EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is used primarily with trauma survivors. For me, it has been nothing less than a miracle--even though I started it with a bad attitude thinking it was just a gimmick.
There are several ways that therapists do this technique. Some use a light bar that they put at various angles and work at various speeds. It is a bar of tiny lights that move from right to left. There is also a way of some therapists just tapping the client on each knee and using some sound.
Recently my therapist has used the ear phones with sound and I hold some sensors in my hand. The point seems to be that from sound and light we replicate REM sleep type experiences. The sensors in my hand just have a gentle vibration to them. I did not expect that to work as well as the light bar--but it has. It usually takes only one session to reprocess a trauma. But if it is not complete, it is finished the next time.
The way I have been exposed to this was first with the lights and sound.
The therapist asked me to list five to ten trauma's I had experienced. Then, we started to work on them one by one. At first, we used a 90 minute session for the most traumatic expperiences. Now we do it in the regular 50 minute session.
One of my trauma's was physical abuse by an older sibling. I was told to picture the worst part of that experience in my mind. The she asked some questions such as what did I feel about myself at that time? What was the worst part of it. Then, we would talk about what I would like to be able to feel about that situation.
Then I was told to follow the lights as I listened to a little beep in my ears. She told me to not try to think, just have the scene in my mind and follow the lights with my eyes, not turning my head.
She used diffrent speeds with the lights and different lengths of time. I think the longest time was perhaps 45 seconds to a minute. Then she stopped the lights and sounds and asked me what was happening. As the scene changed, we would go with that new scene to see where it takes me.
Eventually, with this issue, I had been held to a hot grate so that my legs had the shape of the grate burned into my shins. I had remembers my sister holding me down as we both screamed for my Mom.
Eventually I came to feel that my sister did not hold me there, rather, she was terrified herself and did not know what to do. She was a schizophrenic. I doubt that she fully understood what was happening.
As a result of this I did not feel hate for her and I saw this not as a moment of torture, but an accident that was terribly painful--but it was not my sisters fault. I felt some love for my sister and sadness that she had probably been terrified by what was happening. I feel it gave my sister back to me in a positive way--she has been deceased for years, but I had carried such anger at her for all the abuse she did to me, that when she died, I did not follow any of her wishes, and I did not have a normal funeral for her--just a memorial service at the elder housing where she had lived.
I feel that had I done EMDR before her death, we could have reconciled on that point at least.
If you want any more info I will be happy to give it. I did do the scene of the most common rapes--at night, in the woods. I turned that entire scene around and saw myself get our from under him, screaming loudly at him and pointing my arm towards him. He was no longer having the power--I had it and scarred the hell out of him by my screaming at him as I went back to the camp. When I got to the camp, all the scouts were there and they were screaming at him and pointing their fingers at him as well.
Everyone knew the truth then, and everyone was screaming at him and he was in sheer terror. It felt great.
After that I have had no flashbacks, and only a couple of nightmares. We are going to complete this work next week in the hope that it will reprocess the entire thing so that it is no longer harmful to me.
Bob
EMDR is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It is used primarily with trauma survivors. For me, it has been nothing less than a miracle--even though I started it with a bad attitude thinking it was just a gimmick.
There are several ways that therapists do this technique. Some use a light bar that they put at various angles and work at various speeds. It is a bar of tiny lights that move from right to left. There is also a way of some therapists just tapping the client on each knee and using some sound.
Recently my therapist has used the ear phones with sound and I hold some sensors in my hand. The point seems to be that from sound and light we replicate REM sleep type experiences. The sensors in my hand just have a gentle vibration to them. I did not expect that to work as well as the light bar--but it has. It usually takes only one session to reprocess a trauma. But if it is not complete, it is finished the next time.
The way I have been exposed to this was first with the lights and sound.
The therapist asked me to list five to ten trauma's I had experienced. Then, we started to work on them one by one. At first, we used a 90 minute session for the most traumatic expperiences. Now we do it in the regular 50 minute session.
One of my trauma's was physical abuse by an older sibling. I was told to picture the worst part of that experience in my mind. The she asked some questions such as what did I feel about myself at that time? What was the worst part of it. Then, we would talk about what I would like to be able to feel about that situation.
Then I was told to follow the lights as I listened to a little beep in my ears. She told me to not try to think, just have the scene in my mind and follow the lights with my eyes, not turning my head.
She used diffrent speeds with the lights and different lengths of time. I think the longest time was perhaps 45 seconds to a minute. Then she stopped the lights and sounds and asked me what was happening. As the scene changed, we would go with that new scene to see where it takes me.
Eventually, with this issue, I had been held to a hot grate so that my legs had the shape of the grate burned into my shins. I had remembers my sister holding me down as we both screamed for my Mom.
Eventually I came to feel that my sister did not hold me there, rather, she was terrified herself and did not know what to do. She was a schizophrenic. I doubt that she fully understood what was happening.
As a result of this I did not feel hate for her and I saw this not as a moment of torture, but an accident that was terribly painful--but it was not my sisters fault. I felt some love for my sister and sadness that she had probably been terrified by what was happening. I feel it gave my sister back to me in a positive way--she has been deceased for years, but I had carried such anger at her for all the abuse she did to me, that when she died, I did not follow any of her wishes, and I did not have a normal funeral for her--just a memorial service at the elder housing where she had lived.
I feel that had I done EMDR before her death, we could have reconciled on that point at least.
If you want any more info I will be happy to give it. I did do the scene of the most common rapes--at night, in the woods. I turned that entire scene around and saw myself get our from under him, screaming loudly at him and pointing my arm towards him. He was no longer having the power--I had it and scarred the hell out of him by my screaming at him as I went back to the camp. When I got to the camp, all the scouts were there and they were screaming at him and pointing their fingers at him as well.
Everyone knew the truth then, and everyone was screaming at him and he was in sheer terror. It felt great.
After that I have had no flashbacks, and only a couple of nightmares. We are going to complete this work next week in the hope that it will reprocess the entire thing so that it is no longer harmful to me.
Bob
