eh i hate when he talks to me

[Peterrr]

soo tonight
"he" had two beers.. and we were on the couch and idk.. he wasn't drunk, but he was in a really good mood and he was punching my arm and leg. and he kept slapping my leg and teasing me and i dont think he was flirting with me but it felt like it and i didnt like it and yeah, i just felt so weird and ugh i hate him so much
i hate thati cant have a normal relationship with him becaus eim so angery at him
and today this kid, this really short sophomore, pushed past me in the hall.. he put his hand on my arm and pushed meo ut of the way and im like youre such a little shit an di was so angery i pushed him down.. and so then me and my buddy were walking upstairs and i could still feel his hand on my arm and i felt so weird and i hate being touched, i hate it. god,
idk
i just hadda get that out..

 

[endlessjourney]

Sounds like drawing boundaries are a necessity for you. Did you ever tell your friend not to touch you if you dont want him to. I'm not saying to rant and complain when he does it, but to just tell him assertively that it bothers you when he does that and that you don't want him to do that anymore. Would you feel comfortable telling him why that bothers you? I know that lingering feeling of an unwarranted touch. I saw one of my professors in the school library and he said hi and patted me on the chest. He may or may not have meant anything by that but I felt dirty and like his hand was still there on my chest for about an hour after I talked to him. Anger is good but it helps to channel it and direct it towards the source of the problem rather than the friend of yours who is just trying to get a rise out of you, or even that punk that pushed you in the hall. Think of why you feel so distigusted when someone else touches you without your consent. There is someone else you could be mad it at besides your friend or that punk. That person is responsible for much of the pain and confusion you feel today.

 

[Dewey]

Hey Peterrr, here's a hug. Nothing more. Nothing less, just a hug. D.

 

[roadrunner]

Peter,

It often happens with survivors that we get really sensitive about being touched. That's because when we were younger touching was followed by abuse. It was a sign that we were powerless to stop what was happening, and in some cases it makes us wonder did we see it coming and were we somehow to blame because we didn't do anything to stop it.

It sure is going to be difficult to avoid being touched when you are in high school: crowded corridors, gym class, and so on. One thing you might try is to tell yourself that here (in the corridor) it is happening to everyone and nothing is here to hurt you. I gradually was able to accept touching so long as I could see it approaching. But many guys here will tell you that touching is a big trigger for them.

I noticed you said this bro:

i just hadda get that out...

Absolutely! That is one of the great things about this place. When you need to let it fly, just come here and do it.

Much love,
Larry

 

[michael Joseph]

thanks for your support Peter, I just want to give some back.

I was beat bad in High school, and in college I stood up for myself both in Gym class, college involved someone from my High school, he got someone else to throw a volleyball at me in the locker room, I picked it up and threw it back that ended that. In high school i was out numbered.

not sure saying something will help, or placeing your body out of reach, but I want you to know I dont want you touched when you dont want to be, and thanks for the courage to respond to my post, and say what you wanted, remember that when someone trys to hit you. It is your body ok. Thanks you touched my heart tonight. I hope I touched your.

your brother Michael