Easing the Ache: Gay Men Recovering from Compulsive Behaviors
This book came to me at a very critical time in my recovery life.
Sober for about a year, I was having lots of trouble keeping the memories of abuse and feelings of victimization from destroying my newly found sobriety.
My experience with recovery from the sexual abuse is that I first had to find a way to quit (and stay quit) practicing the patterns of sel-destructive, compulsive behaviors that I had developed as a way to cope with the still unrecognized trauma of sexual abuse.
In brief, I had to stop drinking, so I could truly experience the unanesthesized pain I felt.
I had to know the undiluted horror in order to become willing to take the necessary steps to recover.
It helped me find a new perspective on my obsessive behaviors and how their relationship to my homosexuality, my maleness and my past history of trauma.
The author originally published this book anonymously, in keeping with the spirit of anonymity practiced in most 12 step programs.
Later it was re-issued under his true identity.
Seems I liked it better the other way, but it's still good for anyone who has ever tried to stop actively participating in their own self-destruction and found they could not.
You don't have to be a twelve-stepper, gay or a man to derive some benefit from his work.
Finding solutions that work for the daunting problems of obsessive thinking and compulsive acting is a blessing for any person in this day and age.
I have shared it with many other guys. They each have found their story somewhere in it.
Besides addressing compulsive drinking, the author also devotes considerable space to other addictive behaviors such as overeating, co-dependence, sex addiction, gambling and others.
There are specific cases describing male sexual abuse and its effects. Much emotional pain is shared.
I shed a few tears each time I read it.
Sober for about a year, I was having lots of trouble keeping the memories of abuse and feelings of victimization from destroying my newly found sobriety.
My experience with recovery from the sexual abuse is that I first had to find a way to quit (and stay quit) practicing the patterns of sel-destructive, compulsive behaviors that I had developed as a way to cope with the still unrecognized trauma of sexual abuse.
In brief, I had to stop drinking, so I could truly experience the unanesthesized pain I felt.
I had to know the undiluted horror in order to become willing to take the necessary steps to recover.
As a gay man, I found this book to be comforting and inspiring.
It helped me find a new perspective on my obsessive behaviors and how their relationship to my homosexuality, my maleness and my past history of trauma.
The author originally published this book anonymously, in keeping with the spirit of anonymity practiced in most 12 step programs.
Later it was re-issued under his true identity.
Seems I liked it better the other way, but it's still good for anyone who has ever tried to stop actively participating in their own self-destruction and found they could not.
You don't have to be a twelve-stepper, gay or a man to derive some benefit from his work.
Finding solutions that work for the daunting problems of obsessive thinking and compulsive acting is a blessing for any person in this day and age.
I have shared it with many other guys. They each have found their story somewhere in it.
Besides addressing compulsive drinking, the author also devotes considerable space to other addictive behaviors such as overeating, co-dependence, sex addiction, gambling and others.
There are specific cases describing male sexual abuse and its effects. Much emotional pain is shared.
I shed a few tears each time I read it.