Dumb post, but I'm not sorry I did it.

[Bobby]

Don't expect any replies to this really. So many of you have gone through this. By the way, have you noticed how many times people say sorry here? I say it almost every time I write something. I have resolved never to say that again. We all need to get stuff out, and we should never feel sorry about that. What we should feel sorry for is keeping any of it in.

That said, I am going to share this that I should say sorry for. I am now crying all the time. It all started last week and like the Ever Ready bunny I just keep on going and going and going. All I have to see is a boy the age I was when my SA happened and I burst into tears. So far I've been able to control it, so that I'm not really embarrassed, but I'm afraid sometime it will happen when I'm out in public somewhere. Tonight on television suddenly there was a little boy swinging on a swing. I started crying...just sitting there paying bills and watching television, I started crying. I'm not sorry, really...just amazed. I wonder how long this will last?

 

[James_dup1]

Cant answer how long it will last. But can tell you that I have been there. The roller coaster ride we are on in learning to become the person we are inside can be hard to deal with. But just remember it's worth it in the long run. I have times I wonder what I was thinking by turning and facing my SA head on and trying to take controll of my life back. But then other days I remember why. To become the man I was ment to be.

Best of luck to you

James

 

[Morning Star]

Bobby,

It is amazing that you are able to cry and release fast, what would have taken you years.

So just let it flow and let it go. Once its over you will feel much lighter.

 

[Dan88]

No apologies needed. I don't know how long it will last. I've had the exact same thing happen to me. More than once. If you have a therapist, you may want to talk to him about it and see if he has suggestions for working through grief. I only know that it's something I have to do.

Once, my therapist gave me an assignment to write to my inner child in my journal. To do this, he made me get a picture of myself at age 6, just before the abuse started, and look at it as I wrote. I didn't think anything could make me cry so much. I could barely face that picture. But it did help me to make some sense of the grief inside.

Take care
Dan