drinking

drinking
B

Brayton

Registrant
I've posted replies on only two threads today and both were about my drinking and my sobriety. I'm starting to sound to myself like I'm doing drunkalogs and I think that probably belongs on an AA site.

But...

Anybody else experienced a link between sobriety and dealing effectively with the pain of abuse?

I'm not alone, am I?
 
My friend,

No, you're not alone. I think, sadly, it's a very common thing, because people like us try to escape from our pain and our emotions.

In my case, it's led to a VERY addictive personality, whether it's drink, food, overspending, etc., I do it all.

Fortunately, I'm staying away from drink. Overspending, I'm working on. Food...welll :eek:

Part of oversoming an issue is being aware of it. And I think you're doing well.

You need me, I'm here.

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Brett,

Although I did not ever reach the point where the desire to drink became the kind of obsession that I had for tobacco, I did have to give up the party life style, then the workaholic lifestyle before I could look where I needed to look, at myself.

To me, it's just another form of acting out. When I first got online, on bulletin boards, I wasn't looking for porn. I was burning time, to avoid being alone with myself. When I'd be at work before dawn and stay long past dark, I wasn't advancing my career. I was avoiding real life, running from the connections I sometimes worked to build with my wife. (Hmmm, that was probably pretty confusing for her.)

SIA has a graphic that shows all kinds of problems and dysfunctions, like lack of self esteem, drinking and drug abuse, sexual problems, self mutilation, etc. as branches of a tree. The tree is rooted in the abuse.

Yet again, you are not alone.

Thanks,

Joe
 
Ive been sober for five years.

The kicker that still gets me is that I had no idea that child abuse causes all this crap in adult life.
 
I'm there with you. Before my sexual assault over a year ago. I partied hard with alcohol and drugs. I didn't do it because I had a negative self-image. Quite the contrary, I had a positive self-image. I was having fun. After the sa I started to abuse alcohol as a way to numb out. No panic attacks, etc. Great for a short time, but not great for the long-term. I decided to stop drinking over two months ago.

I realized I was killing myself, both physically and psychologically. I wasn't allowing myself to heal. Is it hard to stop drinking. Hell yeah! But for the first time I want to be in control, which I wasn't during the sa. I was drunk and drugged during it and only half-conscious.I want to regain myself. I want to intergrate so to speak.

The hardest part I find now is controlling the urge to drink when I'm happy. The same thing holds true with anything. For example, someone mentioned in a post that they really got into porn and cut themselves off from women. We turn sometimes turn to objects instead of people because we can't be hurt, but end up hurting ourselves in the process. I've done the same thing with porn. It was a quick release, no pun intended, but it didn't fulfill my needs. It actually distanced me even more from women. I guess it reinforced a negative image I had of myself. That I was no good and that the only way I could be close to women again is through porn. Just like alcohol, it's a self-defeating behavior because it only reinforces a negative image of ourselves. That quick high never allows us to deal with the problem in front of us.

Hope this helps.
 
brett,
escape behavior is something we all deal with. you already know this, because your question was somewhat different. i have been struggling with the sexual boundary confusion lately...a lot. there was so much conflict about memories of the abuse intruding into what would be an otherwise normal fantasy world, or the inappropriate content of such fantasies would really get out of control for me. i was so badly disturbed by the revelation of the arousal i experienced when i recalled a specific abuse memory in the present that i really bolted. i felt i had to find some place removed from the memories and the triggers of the inappropriate subjects. i thought i found it, but i believe i may have misled myself. you asked if you were alone in how you experienced coping with the abuse by escaping. no, brett, you are definitely not alone, my friend and brother.

there may have been too much stated above reletive to your question, but we each have to work out a way that makes sense to us and keeps us and those we love safe. i don't know what i can do about my own confusion over the boundaries i mentioned, but i know that it does not involve what i thought i found. the answers are not found through the same elements of the darkness that enveloped us as victims. we stumble, but we stand back up and face the horizon once more. take care, brett. i hope i responded to your question well enough.
 
Hmmm, it's kind of hard, since I come from a rather drunk society! ;) Seriously, drinking at home, it is very much normal, it is a part of most celebrations, it is a part of life even for teenagers (a legal part of life, unlike the part of life of teenagers here). There is a high propensity toward alcoholism in Russian men, and the life expectancy for us is quite a few years less then American men. I have had a few times when I have gotten myself into trouble through drinking. Trouble enough that I am watching myself with it now, although I do not think I am alcoholic. I think I can cause enough trouble to myself sober, I do not need alcohol to mess things up!

I think I didn't really answer your question. Sorry about that!

Leosha
 
I got sober before I disclosed anything about my abuse I had been using booze and drugs for over thirty years to hide my shame, my guilt and disgust. I originally got sober in 1994 stayed sober for eight years and then I took a drink after the trials I was involved with finished without me giving evidence. In both trials my evidence was left on file (Whatever that means....answers would be appreciated)My story was never told.

I drank again when all the pressure was OFF. Since then I have been on and off the wagon a couple of times.

With my alcoholic tendencies I expect I will go on a full blown bender at some time but NOT TODAY!

Hang in there Brett your doing ok!

reagards

Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"
 
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