Dream and fears

[VN]

The physical pain, yes, is some help
right now. The emotional pain, it worsens.

Last night, it was ' flashingbacks ', it holds, go from one up to another, it resembles everyone, it attracts another, similarly to built in a line 'dominoes'. At last I come to an end, it - not a correct choice which I know, but I take two pills of sleep of the friend and I rest for some. I do not love a medicine, but it seemed, that it is necessary, and I think, that better than to drink

Tonight, I go to sleep in rather happy mood, I have such happiness to not pain as usually. But wake up with such bad dreams. I am more likely scared only even to be in a bed, it - not the most convenient feeling for me, as it - 'dangerous' feeling. Should sleep to lose the control, and it - a problem to me. But I go to sleep in pleasant mood, and then to wake up with such negative dreams. Dreams of dead children, both violence, and fears concerning the things not even noticed. The some people which I can understand in my brain, whence images. Some attack my brain and my ideas so it resembles to remove my breath.

So now are again active. I am tired. But it feels, is more safe to be active. Probably tonight I shall sleep. Only - not now.

VN

 

[sabooka]

Vitality,

I hear you all too well. I dread going to sleep. I am scared of falling asleep and dreaming.

The only thing I have found is that once I have the dream and look at it and remember it it no longer hurts me. For me, my dreams are ways of dealing with my past.

I do not know if it is the same for you. I hope that it gives you some hope and some sleep.

Jonathan

 

[Leosha]

V,

I am sorry that you had a bad night, although I know it is not isolated recently. I think Jonathan is right, and that your brain is processing a LOT of issues as you are sleeping. There has been a lot of emotions from different sources that you have stifled in your life, and it is going to seem a bit out of control for a while. I think being emotional and 'out of control' is something you need to grant yourself permission to do and be for a while, and know that it is NOT weakness, but the recovery of your emotions from where they were stuffed away for so long.

I am glad that you showed up here in the middle of the night. It is a safer distraction then some other you could have choosen. (and your work with the translator has improved greatly!) Please know that always, you have other options, to include friends and here.

Leosha