dose anyone feel this way

dose anyone feel this way
R

RodM

Registrant
I dont know if this is going to make since or not. But it seems like to me that I am scared that my gf is going to eather leave me because its so wonderful with her or she is out to hurt me somehow. I know that this has no real valitliy but its wierd I did this with my ex wife and it was pure hell on my part. I would like to know if any of you have had this and what have you dont to deal with it

Rod
 
Rod
I lived with this kind of insecurity in one degree or another for most of my adult life.

I didn't know who to trust, or even how to trust.
I didn't trust myself; that was the big problem.

Sharing my past, and my present, problems with my wife was a huge leap of trust for me. And from then on I've learned and gained trust.

I don't know if your girlfriend knows about your SA or not, and that decision is of course yours. But I think a relationship with secrets is always going to be difficult.

The level of two way trust, and how much you share with other people, is always going to an indicator of your recovery - and it works the other way around. I don't think you can have one without the other.
We recover - we learn to trust. We trust - we recover.

Am I making any sense, I hope so ?

Dave
 
Rod, Dave,

My problem has been more than lack of trust or inability to trust. I actively distrust people. My wife and I were discussing this a couple nights ago, and she said that all these things I'm learning about myself now are things she tried to tell me were "odd" about me sometime before.

I think she's saying, "I told you so." :eek:

Thanks,

Joe
 
Brothers : Joe is right. My wife and daughter have said exactly the same thing. And they got really mad when I finally told them everything. Mad because I had kept it from them. Tanya (my daughter) told me that she now understands about my behaviours and moods. All along she thought it was her.
 
PS

As Dave Says
The level of two way trust, and how much you share with other people, is always going to an indicator of your recovery - and it works the other way around. I don't think you can have one without the other.
Click to expand...
After lurking in the shadows as a victim for 40 years it was a terrific load off me when I finlly burst the boil.
 
I am not so sure what it is we think. But, in my history, until now I only have one girlfriend. I was always most terrified of her to find out what happens at me, and then she leave me when I am not able to increase being intimite with her. Since then, I have discovered some feelings I have of a long time female friend, and again, worried so much of what she might think of me if she knows the truth. I knew I must tell her, but did not know how. Finally, I write up a letter, of what I feel, and what I know I need to say at her, to explain why I am as I am sometime, and what I need of her. And final, I give it at her, dreading of how she respond at it. And it goes much better of how I could hope, and she is much more understanding of how I am now, how sometime I need hug and other time I push away of it, how my mind maybe work more now? it is just a thought, if you are not able to speak at her of how you feel, your fear, maybe you can write it. Just maybe it will make some better, to communicate more open of things?I do not know, I hope that something help you. I wish you well.

Leosha
 
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