don't you guys just get tired?

don't you guys just get tired?
S

shadowkid

WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shado
man i'm tired ,but sleep won't help ,i'm tired of fighting ,tired of climbing one hill to find a bigger one on the other side just want to forget the fight i been fighting in one way or another for 13 years ,i'm only 21 thats 's too long. am i gonna have to fight for ever? god i just need someone to hold me .sorry about this post on what is a happy day for most people . i miss my mom ,i miss my brother ,sorry,sorry i'm so sorry . adam
 
Adam,

I'd hold you if I could. I'd hold you like a brother should hold another one when he hurts. I'd soothe away all the tears till Adam had a smile on his face. I know that sounds wierd, but I don't mean it in a bad or uncomfortable way at all.

And yes, I do get tired of fighting, so incredibly tired, but the alternative is too frightening to think about for me, so I just keep fighting. Don't know what else to do.

Lots of love,

John
 
I'd hold you too Adam, I'd hold you jusy like I'd hold my very own brother because that is how I think of you now. You are a brother now. I can't remember how many times I've read your posts and wished I could climb right through this silly iMac thing I've got here and give you a hug.

I do get tired. I'm tired right now. The abuse started in 1963, that was 42 years ago. There are good days and bad days and life goes on. It is a battle well worth fighting. Today was one of the best days in a long time because I had a kid, he is a high school senior, come to me after my presentation at church on Christmas eve and give me a hug. He told me that what I read about finding Christmas made him cry and it was the first time he had cried in over a year. He told me thanks and that what I had presented had helped him very much. It is things like that that make me keep going.

When you and others tell me that I have helped them here on the board, it gives me courage to keep going. And yes Adam, you also help me with your words.

Thanks!

Love you Brother

Darrel
 
Adam - I hear your need to be held...to belong...to feel a part of a family! Christmas is a family holiday and if we are to experience our losses, it is generally during this season. Despite how it feels, the reality is you belong among us here...because we know that pain amd frustration and reach out across the miles to let you know we care!!! I feel that sense of loss of family from time to time too but have built a support network here at MS and physically around my neighborhood. My physical/sexual abuse lasted from 5 through 13 with the consequences impacting my life through age 20...and then somewhat beyond until I realized and accepted my abuse and worked on resolving its symptoms. Today, the fight has become easier for me and my life is very, much more stable...there is light at the end of the tunnel and relief from the pain. Let me give you that hope and send my best wishes of support!!! ((((((((Adam))))))))


Howard
 
Adam,

Yes, we all get tired, and yes, it is natural to feel from time to time that we just can't continue.

But you know what? It is always possible to continue. You are in a place where many have been doing it for a long time. This is a difficult journey, yes, but the reward is getting your life back. It is worth the effort and we are here to support you.

This is a message of hope bro. The first flickerings of hope, which I know you have already felt from time to time, often come in the dark.

Much love,
Larry
 
I didn't get tired but I got discouraged. I was discouraged from ever trying to imporove myself, (mostly career wise).

I had relegated myself to low-end service jobs because I failed at everything else. For ten years now, I just exist, and not much else.

Only now after all this time am I actually thinking of trying to do something. I'm finally going address my main problem(s).

So.........in a sense I did give up........for some time.........now I'm gonna do what it takes to make my life meaningful, not just to me but to other people in my life, perhaps people like you.

I like to think of what we're going through as a test, if I fail, then I fail, but at least I tried, and that is the measure of true character.

Hey, don't you remember Roadrunner mentioning that you need to don a "survivor mentality" sometimes? Sounds like now is a good time........
 
hi guys ,i need to say that without what i have found here in all of you i would not even want to try anymore,right now you are all that i have ,i hate to post how shitty i feel but i feel that i should always be truthfull here. i sit and i think ,i sit and i remember and i wonder why ? why am i trying to do this ,before i started trying to heal myself i could at least function ,yeah life sucked but ,i was able to just go on without thinking , it seems like the more i try to get over things the more alone i feel ,i don't want to realize that i am truly alone ,that it has been so long i can't remember the last time someone just held me ,that it has been years since i had the simplest human contact .i read posts from friends and family and i see that even people like me have someone ,why do i feel like an 11 year old crying for his mommy?i have learned that maybe the abuse wasn't my fault but it made me this lonely person .like in foster care there were one or two families who tried to help me but i pushed them away never gave them a chance. i'm seeing my t today ,but i feel better talking to you than to her ,i want to be a man but i feel like a whinny little kid ,i'm ashamed i can't seem to grow up i feel like the little brother that is always hanging around the older kids bugging the hell out of them . shadow
 
(((Adam))),

cyber hugs for you, and yes the holiday time is difficult for a lot of us because of memories.

The hills you climb might seem impossible, but they become easier over time, healing cannot just happen suddenly, but it will ease over time.

We all feel like the little boy crying sometimes, but now we have to get him to smile and be happy and safe, to be able to touch and reach out, not to be afraid of those who want to know.

The little boy is safe now, and this hurt is from the past so let us get it out and kick it away and get you smiling again,

ste
 
I hear you loud and clear. Sometimes, I just get tired of fighting and struggling and as several have heard me say here - wishing to be normal.

Sometimes I want everyone to really know me. I want my family to know what I went through. I want my friends and coworkers to know what I experienced.

Then, I want a hug, and I want everyone to say - "Sorry that happened - I like you anyway - now, let's get along with our lives and I'll walk along with you".

Some walk with me. Some hug me. Several I can't tell - many I won't tell.

I've learned to start opening up my crossed arms and clenched fists. Revealing my palms to the world - waiting for goodness to come my way - and it does.

Don't be sorry Adam. We're all going through what you are - or we've gone through it.

I can't say I'd hug you. I don't know you. But I'd stand close and listen.
 
We all get tired . But you should NEAVER be sorry for asking for help
 
Adam
some days it's shitty, that's a fact. And I wouldn't bullshit anyone and say that I don't still get bad days. But they are getting further apart and less intense.

To me that makes all the hard work worth it.

Dave
 
Sometimes very tired, but will never give up!

Best wishes...Rik
 
thanks guys ,i needed that.
 
I'm very glad to be here for you!!!
 
hang in adam -

i don't know how we do it - but we keep going!

the tired - it's alot

hang in -

mark
 
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