Does this help?

[fusionoflove]

I've noticied that one of my major problems that comes out of male on male rape is the questioning of one's sexual identity.

I can't speak for everyone here. My sa didn't happen until I was in my early 20's, but I think this may help at least someone.

When a straight adult male, like myself, is raped by another man we start to question our sexual identity for the first time.
"I must be bi or gay?!"
But when a gay adult male is raped by a woman,does he say afterwards.
"I must be cured."
Hell no, they don't.

I'm not trying to be funny, just trying to point out something that may be of interest. In the end, I don't think that any rape can change who you really are and how you naturally express yourself sexually. It can screw it up for awhile, but that's to be expected. For some it could last an entire lifetime if help is not sought.

Take the Jews who survived the Holocaust. Did it change who they really are? No, but it had to of screwed with their minds, hearts and souls for a time.

This may sound weird, but the person you have to forgive the most isn't your attacker, it's yourself. If you don't, you'll let it eat away at you until it consumes you. Remember, it's not your fault, it's not your fault.

Maybe I'm totally off base and if I am please reply to this post or elaborate on anything you can. I'd appreciate it, but I know others will as well.

Thanks

 

[The Dean]

You are correct that being raped does not change who we are. It does mess with our ideas of who we are and why someone wanted to have sex with us.

Most of us here were victims when we were children or younger teens. I do not know what it would be like to be an adult and be raped. There are several men here though that are in the same situation as you on that.

It will be interesting to hear more from you. I am not sure if being raped as an adult makes anything worse or less worse--it is awful at any age. Some seem to heal faster than others--but all seem to get better as they continue to work on this stuff.

Thank you for being here and sharing a different kind of experience.

Bob

 

[TeeJayUU]

I was sexually abused from an infant until mid 20s, he brought in other adults when I became a teenager.

I am now 40, married 16 years, two children,and STILL question my sexual identity.

As for fault, hell yeah, I feel a lot that it was my fault ...but why. It is funny, I JUST posted about feeling guilty. WHY? I was an infant when it started! I was TRAINED what to do! As a teenager, did I have a choice?

The one side says, BAD BOY GUILTY BOY DIRTY BOY. This side wins out some of the time!

NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT MY CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DID NOT DESERVE ANY OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the side I know is there, but I argue with it! I honestly feel these are all normal for what we went through, but I should not have to feel them.

Does this go with your post or am I rambling again?

PEACE!!!!!!

TJ