does it seem....?

[markgreyblue]

does it seem that everyone else, non abused people that is, has stuff and 'life' figured out -
the abuse has made me so "unsolid' at least i am working on that and growing to just appreciate the way and who i am - all else be dammed -

-even though it would be impossible to have life figured out - it seems that sometimes no one else has such catastrophic 'unsolidness'-

do any of you have this perception as well -

it is as if taking that first step into the outside world is like stepping into blazing headlights and i am frozen with a sense of
total fear or just frozen -

i have no choice but to throw myself in front of the car....

 

[markgreyblue]

i am determined though to make achieve -
just need to get beyond the frozen step first ....

 

[Mike Church]

MGB from what I can gather is that absolutely nobody has life figured out. And if they think they do they are deluding themeselves. Everyone has demons of some sort that does not help. I think all we can do is the best we can to achieve our own inner peace. The outside world will continue to be a mystery but as long as we are comfortable within ourselves we can sail the waters at our own speed.

 

[Stephen_5]

MGB,

It's my belief that nobody really has life figured out just some people are better at concealing that fact from the people around them. I was very good at that for years. Outwardly no one would have ever suspected the inner torment that I was going through. I really cared what others thought of me and I didn't want to reveal the 'damaged person' that I thought I was. I was so afraid of being rejected that I'd never risk it, I'd never take that first step.

It's a bit different now. I've opened up to a great group of guys here. I've talked to anyone about any subject if I feel it's appropriate. What others think of me is not paramount in my life. I can't control what others think, I have to live with myself. I like myself better now than I have in many many years. I'd like to keep it that way.

By all means step out into the light of day, wear some sunblock but enjoy the view...

Steve

 

[Ken Singer LCSW]

I can attest and my wife (who sees mostly non-survivors) can attest that a good number of the folks we see in therapy were not abused. Yet they are coming to us to get life figured out. The abuse is a handicap and sometimes a real pain in the ass. However, there are an awful lot of people out there who (fortunately) did not get abused who are having problems.

Ken

 

[Brayton]

Mark, I do feel that way sometimes.

I certainly did before I found this site.

I remember thinking of depression as a child and throughout my teen years as being something unique to me. Not even really thinking about it, just assuming that it was my identity rather than a treatable thing.

No one told me differently. No one guided me through the complicated web of dark feelings.

I think that a lot of people who are struggling with mental health issues have been seriously injured if not through SA then through emotional and/or physical abuse.

I think that there may be far more abused people out there than even the guesstimates would have us believe.

Culturally, there is so much support for denial and not confronting it that it is no wonder that we sometimes feel isolated, as if no one else can empathize with us in what we are experiencing.

No two stories are exactly alike but fundamentally what we have gone through and most importantly the symptoms we are dealing with today, unites us.