Does anyone wonder what became of the photos an abuser took?

Perkins

Registrant
I learned, about 30 years ago, that pictures that were taken of me from age 12 - 14 were traded or sold. These photos (and others that I was not part of) were what got my abuser in legal trouble, leading eventually to his suicide.

I knew before this happened that a lot of pictures of me were taken, but I never considered that other people would see them. When they were taken, I didn't consider myself espeically handsome. I was not physically very mature. It still feels strange that people took risks to own these pictures.

This was all before the internet was a real thing. The photos were literal black and white prints. So I don't imagine many people had them. The police certainly got them, so they were out there somewhere.

I don't look anything like I did. I'm not worried about being recognized. Everyone that knows I was in the pictures has died. And unless somone scanned them, they never made it to the internet age. But I'm still kinda bothered that people might be looking at them.
 

manipulated

Moderator
Staff member
I learned, about 30 years ago, that pictures that were taken of me from age 12 - 14 were traded or sold. These photos (and others that I was not part of) were what got my abuser in legal trouble, leading eventually to his suicide.

I knew before this happened that a lot of pictures of me were taken, but I never considered that other people would see them. When they were taken, I didn't consider myself espeically handsome. I was not physically very mature. It still feels strange that people took risks to own these pictures.

This was all before the internet was a real thing. The photos were literal black and white prints. So I don't imagine many people had them. The police certainly got them, so they were out there somewhere.

I don't look anything like I did. I'm not worried about being recognized. Everyone that knows I was in the pictures has died. And unless somone scanned them, they never made it to the internet age. But I'm still kinda bothered that people might be looking at them.
Unfortunately many did get scanned and placed on now the "dark" web. Especially if prints were passed and shared of the black and whites - the damned pedos even have kinks for the old photos without color I'm told. You should contact the police agency that was investigating at the time justice came quicker to confirm the destruction of any they had already gathered as evidence. Then do a search on this topic - I believe some current and I know formerly active members posted on it and I thought there is an agency helping guys locate and remove any images but I could be wrong.

I had no memory of photos until recently and I'm still not sure as most details I never forgot although the chronology scrambled in the 40 years between last event and my first "telling" and the additional 10 since hasn't helped clarify though research of court records and the Scout perversion files confirmed a "feeling" that I had no clear memory of and there WERE photos confirmed in that research of over 120 boys....I now have to assume I was one but no time right now to research it, no room in my concious for what I might find and as you state no one alive would recognize me from then- and if they are looking and finding them may they see the end all perps deserve quickly.
 

Perkins

Registrant
I can't imagine ever talking to the police about it again. My one meeting with them was humiliating. I was threatened with arrest (I initially lied about being the person in the pictures). And they were clearly disgusted by what I was doing in the pictures. I'm feeling more angry with them than the person that took the photos. He took a bullet for his part in those whole thing, which is the only thing that kept me from having to testify about it.

If the pictures are sitting in a 30 year old file folder I'm ok with that.

Were they scanned and posted on the internet? I guess anything is possible, but if so I would rather just be an anonymous kid than have people know it's me.
 

GarryDex

Registrant
I learned, about 30 years ago, that pictures that were taken of me from age 12 - 14 were traded or sold. These photos (and others that I was not part of) were what got my abuser in legal trouble, leading eventually to his suicide.

I knew before this happened that a lot of pictures of me were taken, but I never considered that other people would see them. When they were taken, I didn't consider myself espeically handsome. I was not physically very mature. It still feels strange that people took risks to own these pictures.

This was all before the internet was a real thing. The photos were literal black and white prints. So I don't imagine many people had them. The police certainly got them, so they were out there somewhere.

I don't look anything like I did. I'm not worried about being recognized. Everyone that knows I was in the pictures has died. And unless somone scanned them, they never made it to the internet age. But I'm still kinda bothered that people might be looking at them.
TRIGGER TRIGGER. I know that my abuser had me pose for pictures, the quantity I'm not sure of. The things I was doing/being done to me is humilating. I've also have had to come to terms with the knowledge that after a while it became almost normal. I still have problems, (PTSD) issues with even the sound of a Polaroid camera. I am disclosing this for the first time that she'd (abuser was female) had me use a remote trigger for the camera. This was so she could capture the percise moment of my orgasm. Just about impossible she figured out later with the long exposure time of that style of camera (SX-70). So I'm also at fault. I remember crying when she showed me ones that she'd really liked. That person in the picture couldn't be me, I'd tell myself.

The thing that gives me some peace is that I don't look that way anymore. Seeing that it was 40 years ago. I don't know if they are still in circulation, but if you see a young teen wearing black woman's underwear and masturbating might be me.
 
Some of 'my' photos and films can unfortunately still be found. I stopped trying to find them.
 

Perkins

Registrant
Some of 'my' photos and films can unfortunately still be found. I stopped trying to find them.
Mine were of the era before consumer video tape was a thing. So at leaset i was never filmed.

How do you know the material is out there? I'd be worried that looking around for it could cause legal problems. I could come up with a google image search that might capture specific things about my photos, but the results could be pretty distressing.
 
Authorities here where I live have a dedicated team. I can't go into details, but it's all tied to a series of trials.

And yeah, I stopped searching too out of fear people would misunderstand my intentions
 
Some of 'my' photos and films can unfortunately still be found
same here. I've had thousands of photos taken most of them bad. Most photos were taken in the late '50s and entire '60s. I was warned to stop searching for them by my T. Here in the US, a person can have trouble just searching for them. At first, I thought that I had to find some in order to prove to myself that they were taken. But my T told me I don't have to prove anything since I know they were taken and I don't have to prove it to anyone else, especially myself.
 
So I'm also at fault
NO, NO, NO you were not at fault at all. It was not you as a minor to give your permission to do any of that "stuff". It was on that female who decided she wanted a photo of the moment of orgasm. The fault is 100% on her.
 
And unless somone scanned them, they never made it to the internet age. But I'm still kinda bothered that people might be looking at them.
in the '50s and '60s, photos were duplicated and sold or just passed around. I'm sure that there are plenty of photos of me down deep in the net universe and there are ones that are OK that you will still find with Google. If you think that your photos are out there then they are. Any porn is good porn to a pervert and is worth being in the deep net for other perverts. I've found questionable photos of me on naturist sites that I wasn't at as a child. I don't know how to make you feel better about your photos being out there but I think that if anyone has any of my photos just remember you're going to jail if you're found with them. I don't know if that's any consolation but it is for me.

B&W photos were done in basements so making duplicates were easy. Color photos needed a lab until the net happened.

I've had thousands of photos taken of me and I really don't think that anyone would recognize me from those photos. If they know that it's me in the photo then good for them and they're going to go to jail if they are caught. I wish I could offer you some consolation but the fact is that we're out there. if someone recognizes us then shame on them.
 

Not_our_fault

Registrant
honestly it’s best not to think about, because then it goes from “am I out there” to “how many seen” “who sent it them, and who sent it them” you just end up searching harmful material to find yours. If you have concerns speak to the police or Interpol and say what happened to you and give them a photo of yourself from that age and ask if your face is identified in any of the material
 
Top