does anyone feel like they are constantly fighting to not be miserable?

does anyone feel like they are constantly fighting to not be miserable?
M

markgreyblue

Registrant
ok - by now you guys know bout my mood swings

and i try to be self sufficient - by constantly tryingg to fix the misery - to calm myself down -
but today i can't and that makes me
panic
and feel useless more -
failed - a failure -

but it's the truth - when i have my feelings i am a nervous wreck

i was watching a show on ADHD -
and it seemed a possibility -

i was so petrified watching it -
as i am with most tv - that i found i was even having a hard time be still while watching- or really calm enough ok enough to watch it -

i get my work done guys - but everyone seems to handle it all - with the will and the happiness to go out and be with others even after work - which i just want to retreat from and be calm in
my space around my things and music

i love the backyard - but i am lonely -
and people scare and attract me - too -

ok - just want peace now -

thanks for listening -

mgb
 
Yeah Man,

I sure do remeber that, I used to say to myself, "Why can't I just be normal?" I would wonder and dream about what that would be like.

As for the ADHD try this screening test- www.adhd.com
 
thanks Roland - will check it out -

Mark
 
I no what ur saing mgb, an i have somewhat of the same prob. anyway. I keep tellin my T i want to be normal and he alway's say what is normal. Everyone is normal n everyone is the same, the only diffrence is everyone is diffrent. It made no since 2 me then he explain it like this, Everyone hids stuff in there mind, the only diffrence between me n them is my stuff make people of their own n every one has a little voice n their head that tell them somthin wrong, my voices talk 2 me n are part of me. He say i normal like everyone else, jus diffrent. i no agree with him n this prob make no since, but felt like i should say it. no no why. -Dude
 
Mark,

Some days it feels like always. Other days not.

The important thing to remember, my friend, is that the bad times pass. The good times stay with us.

I understand you.

Love,

Scot
 
Mark,

I like you, cannot watch this stuff on TV, I don't want to even think of the consequence of the stuff that wants to lable me.

You need your space, I think we all do sometimes, to just figure out what life really is about.

It is all about you, me, us, the only ones that matter here, pick yourself up again, you know you can do it,

take care,

ste
 
thank you guys -

sometime just tell me they love me

a friend - a friend's love -

that meant so much -

reality - your darn right - all of u
m
 
**someone* just tell me *
 
Mrk & all,

I used to "feel like I was constantly fighting to not be miserable".

But, it has changed. Though I Never though I'd be able to say this......I feel good.
I do Not feel bad anymore. I used to feel terrible all the time. So dreadfully terrible.
Every moment was agony.

And now, I feel good. The weight has lifted.

So........there IS hope for all of you also.

It CAN get better. It IS possible to heal.

I KNOW its not easy. Really, I do.
Yet, it IS possible.

Take care, Blacken
 
Mark,

I hope you're feeling better today. Sometimes I feel so much, like my heart is just open and beating in front of everybody. I had to take a nap yesterday just to distance myself for a moment from all the feelings.

They come sometimes and we can't stop them. But you're a good person. I know you feel alone sometimes, but we're here for you. The Mark inside you deserves to be loved. What all this SA garbage does to us doesn't take that away. You're a good man. You see and feel deeper than most, and I'm all for that. Even if it does tear us apart sometimes. I'd rather be a miserable feeler than a stone cold nothing. At least I have love in my heart and caring for others, a desire for that emotional connection to the world. I think you do, too.

Hang in there, guy. You're not useless. Every time I log in here and see that you've put your feelings out there again, whether anybody responds or not, it encourages me. It gives me a little lift. That I don't have to care what other people think about me all the time. And just my being here in some small way makes me useful. And even if I don't know what to say, I'll try to respond. Even if it hurts a lot.

I feel your pain more than you think. Take care, Mark.
 
Marc,

Maybe you can try something really radical or at least radically different from what you have been doing.

How about practicing meditation--I mean seriously, everyday for more and more time each day as you get better and better at it?

It doesn't involve others. It is an occupation that does not allow for loneliness. It gives the mind a chance to quieten and so relax the spirit. And, it leaves a person feeling more self-confident and accepting of differences and even limitations.

I think you are a much better and competent person than you can currently see. ADHD would certainly complicate things. It does for me and the only thing that works for me is to be aware of it and really make myself follow through on one thing at a time. That isn't working very well yet but I think it is not much more than a quirk in my personality and not at all a failing.

By all means, keep away from television. Maybe go into the backyard and listen to music. My Walkman and CDs are an important element in my lifestyle. The music is calming and/or distracting and drowns out others when I need to be less aware of their presence.

Spending time by yourself is a good thing. Extroverts get their energy from being around people, For introverts, being around people is draining and they have to re-fuel by being alone from time to time and especially after spending an extended period of time in the company of others.

Hope some of that helps.
 
Brayton said:
Marc,

Maybe you can try something really radical or at least radically different from what you have been doing.

How about practicing meditation--I mean seriously, everyday for more and more time each day as you get better and better at it?

It doesn't involve others. It is an occupation that does not allow for loneliness. It gives the mind a chance to quieten and so relax the spirit. And, it leaves a person feeling more self-confident and accepting of differences and even limitations.

I think you are a much better and competent person than you can currently see. ADHD would certainly complicate things. It does for me and the only thing that works for me is to be aware of it and really make myself follow through on one thing at a time. That isn't working very well yet but I think it is not much more than a quirk in my personality and not at all a failing.

By all means, keep away from television. Maybe go into the backyard and listen to music. My Walkman and CDs are an important element in my lifestyle. The music is calming and/or distracting and drowns out others when I need to be less aware of their presence.

Spending time by yourself is a good thing. Extroverts get their energy from being around people, For introverts, being around people is draining and they have to re-fuel by being alone from time to time and especially after spending an extended period of time in the company of others.

Hope some of that helps.
Click to expand...
There are many things that may help, and I liked this suggestion.

MJ
 
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