I don't recall how it started, but it hasn't been going on too long. I draw on my hands w/ my finger. I trace outlines of what I am thinking, or seeing. It is kind of meditative, perhaps out of boredom. I have grown a kind of attatchment to it thinking it is a special thing I am doing, for my own personal space etc. I do reflect on life in idle times, I ask questions and sometimes find answers, or inspiration. Those moments are about as personal as it gets with me. I draw shapes, and designs mostly. I have noticed that it has become more frequent. This is why I'm airing it out now. I can be a giving person and I do and feel this just for me. It isn't anything terribly special, and I don't want it to get obscessive, or nurotic so that is why I'm bringing it up.
I kind of think of it as the japanese 'garden' the box of sand and stones you can arrange and shape as you wish. It was novel at first, now I've become conscience about it, and it doesn't feel normal. It isn't neccessary to see the future, or feel some connection to the world. Once in a great while I'll see something in a dream or whatever and by golly I will see it for real at some future point. That happened before I started doing this, and it doesn't have anything to do with this.
I do do it to relax once in a while however. Slow dancing with a girl at a church dance (I go every month) she gently caresses my hand w/ hers as I hold her. Just a touch and I'm back there in that moment. Maybe it is some escapism, I don't know, like I said a lot of times I'm just making geometric shapes and patterns.
This kind of thing makes me think I should get into yoga, to curb anxiety, figity, possesive habits, or tendancies. I've read the articles and stuff they talk about even little things like this.
