Dissociation Triggers

Dissociation Triggers
R

reality2k4

Registrant
Thats it, I must dissociate my mind, when I feel like driving off the road and make it look like an accident.

How many times did I do just that, life not worth living, so just throw a hard left on the motorway when a forrest comes up, that is how hard it was back then.

I can dissociate in new friendships, like, why?
Do you want to know this fucked up guy!
How I wish I could be just a normal guy and not figure in this past shit.

I just wish the little guy never wanted his life to end, I just wish I didnt dissociate back to my child mind,

ste
 
Ste,

You raise a lot of important questions here. First, yes, I do want to know "this fucked up guy" better. I care that he dissociates, but only because I see that bothers him - I know that's a defensive mechanism fromm childhood and I understand it. I have done it myself. The fact that he dissociates means he's taking care of himself with the tools he has at the moment. That's fine by me.

And you CAN recover from the things that trouble you, Ste. You aren't doomed to this. As for dissociation in particular, I guess that's one of those things that you will deal with as you deal with the issues that CAUSE you to diss out. But still, there are things you can do to fight back before that. For example, have you tried to identify situations or memories that trigger you and lead you to dissociate? If there are bad situations that set you off, then it will help to avoid those as much as possible. Or it's a matter of a bad memory, try to link that memory something more positive, so you bridge across from the one to the other. And so on.

I think a lot of us could join you in recalling times as kids when we wished it would all just end. Little Ste thought of this because things seemed so hopeless. Big Ste can help him by leading him to recall the good times as well as the bad and by showing him there is a way forward. All of our lives have meaning and value.

It sure does suck when something happens to embarrass us in front of a new friend, but doesn't that happen a lot to other people anyway? Embarrassment of one degree or another hits us all sooner or later - and not just once! :rolleyes: Sure, to diss out in front of a new friend would be embarrassing, but again, don't take responsibility as if it's something for which you deserve blame. You don't!

I think this is one of those areas where what we mainly have to fight is that problem of fear. If we give in to it we are actually feeding it. Try to see this for what it is; it's just a childhood defense mechanism - you don't need it any longer, but Little Ste hasn't got the idea yet. But by facing it, as you are doing here, that's a first step to rejecting it seeing that there's nothing to be afraid of any longer.

Much love,
Larry
 
Larry, you hit it pretty well, but I love my motorbike, and cannot trust myself on it sometimes. Why? Because I can go out and dissociate while riding it.

Its like the world is not real, and total fear goes thru my mind, and then I think, I got to where I was going, but can I make it back!

Its like saying, hey everything is OK then my mind freezes and loses its control, and yes, it is a survival instinct to let my mind lose control and just drift, but it can be frightening in some situations.

The problem is, I do not know when I am going to be triggered, and I know it is getting better, but I still get unconscious triggers.

I can be on it, thinking hey, its a great day, and going someplace, then, whack, you are a piece of shit that is going nowhere, and it is at least scarey.

I hope it ends, it seems to get better, but I cannot trust it to not come back,

ste
 
scarey,yes , do you think its possible to dissociate if your asleep? i dont understand it but i have like 3 times now gone to sleep started dreamming ,my same old nightmare ,but i woke up not in the place where i went to sleep ,twice i woke up in my closet .lol but this last time i got in my truck ,drove like 3 miles and woke up in the rain at my brothers grave.this scares me i have no memory of even getting up let alone driving. dont know how to stop it ,also people seeing me lying on my brothers grave in the rain is probably a good way to get a trip to the looney bin .
 
This sounds like some nightmare to me, but what you are doing is entirely normal behaviour.
It will get better over time, as you deal with past issues.

You will find it easier to find friends in life, real friends are there, and they will find you.
Let them in, if they hurt, let them go, that is what I do, and it works.

Flashbacks are my problem and they trigger it off.
I cannot even identify with the triggers, so they can come on at any time.
Luckily I dont get them that frequent.

You can PM me anytime over it if you want,

ste
 
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