Dissociating, wtf happened?
Dissociating, wtf happened?
- Thread starterSven
- Start date
Sven I have blanks in my life for a long time. Generally a few minutes to maybe an hour. I just thought it was part of life not remembering. When the abuse was unraveling the blanks would be longer in duration. The longest was almost three days. Thankfully the doctors who saw me at the hospital during this episode were verse in trauma. I remember coming back to the present. I was talking to a young nurse who had graduated from my Alma mater. She had a masters from another university. I was amazed at the knowledge she had about trauma and my lost time. So someone is teaching trauma. Many older nurses did not have a clue. I found very competent nurses when I was transferred to Neurological floor and with the psychiatrists. After coming out and not having memories of the last days, they were able to put me at ease. Never making me feel crazy or I was out of my mind. They understood trauma and the impact of the abuse. It started to help me. They encouraged me to continue with therapy and the doctors. I did and learned how to cope differently.
During this hospital stay I was told my response to the light in the eye test was diminished or sluggish. They were unable to determine the exact reason for the diminished response. One doctor said I was still in a dissociative state and this could be the cause. The psychiatrist and neurologist both said in dissociative states there is consciousness which allows one to function and maybe impaired. All toxicology and blood work ups were negative for drugs or alcohol so that was not the cause nor did the MRI show impairment. Sorry I have lived so much with dissociation, talked to many doctors, when to panels, read and so on. Sorry to be on a soapbox of my past.
Dissociation is a way to escape the pain of stress and memories of the abuse. Take a deep breath, talk to a therapist and do not be like me and think it is a normal part of life. You do not want to fall into the level of dissociation I experienced because it is a coping mechanism and can be overly adapted, like I did.
Remember the episodes can be short and can increase in duration. Talk with someone who understands trauma and dissociation.
Kevin
During this hospital stay I was told my response to the light in the eye test was diminished or sluggish. They were unable to determine the exact reason for the diminished response. One doctor said I was still in a dissociative state and this could be the cause. The psychiatrist and neurologist both said in dissociative states there is consciousness which allows one to function and maybe impaired. All toxicology and blood work ups were negative for drugs or alcohol so that was not the cause nor did the MRI show impairment. Sorry I have lived so much with dissociation, talked to many doctors, when to panels, read and so on. Sorry to be on a soapbox of my past.
Dissociation is a way to escape the pain of stress and memories of the abuse. Take a deep breath, talk to a therapist and do not be like me and think it is a normal part of life. You do not want to fall into the level of dissociation I experienced because it is a coping mechanism and can be overly adapted, like I did.
Remember the episodes can be short and can increase in duration. Talk with someone who understands trauma and dissociation.
Kevin
(((Sven)))
Just know that you can keep talking about it here or in the chat room. I am sending you support and healing. Mike
Just know that you can keep talking about it here or in the chat room. I am sending you support and healing. Mike
Sorry Sven that you are going through this. It can be scary and make a person feel like there crazy but we are not. I have had dissociative episodes from moments to a few hours it scares me. Gratefully it is happening less and less.
Sending you care and understanding take care of your self,we are here for you.
Bluesky
Sending you care and understanding take care of your self,we are here for you.
Bluesky
Sven
You cannot control what happens during dissociation. You need to learn ways to cope without dissociating. I have learned from my experiences what may have happened during dissociative episodes cannot be changed and I may never know what truly happened.
I have learned that I needed to cope differently and I worked hard to change from changing mindset to environment and those who were part of my life.
It is important you seek professional help to stop these episodes. Think about the future and not what may have happened.
My heart goes out to you, I know how frightening it is not to know what was happening during those blank periods. I would never want others to suffer, you know and have admitted the dissociation, I denied it until it became overwhelming. Take the opportunity to talk to someone who can help you stop these episodes.
Kevin
You cannot control what happens during dissociation. You need to learn ways to cope without dissociating. I have learned from my experiences what may have happened during dissociative episodes cannot be changed and I may never know what truly happened.
I have learned that I needed to cope differently and I worked hard to change from changing mindset to environment and those who were part of my life.
It is important you seek professional help to stop these episodes. Think about the future and not what may have happened.
My heart goes out to you, I know how frightening it is not to know what was happening during those blank periods. I would never want others to suffer, you know and have admitted the dissociation, I denied it until it became overwhelming. Take the opportunity to talk to someone who can help you stop these episodes.
Kevin
bey
Registrant
Dissociation sucks, especially because it does a really good job bringing my anxiety down. When youve been doing it your whole life to cope with uncopeable stuff its like its how you are hard wired. Changing that feels to melike changing what I find funny or what makes me embarassed...its just who I am. But you can develop coping strategies to get a handle on it. In my 20s I was blacking out for hours to weeks at a time, totally unaware of what I was doing, I had friends I didnt know, a whole life separate from what I was aware of. It was terrifying and embarassing and my life ground to a halt. Now in my 30s after lots of therapy I rarely black out totally. I still dissociate but I know what I did or said, usually. I had one total black out over an upsetting thing some months ago but I did remember it / become concious of it eventually. Over all the dissociation stuff is better, i still do it every day and people who know me pretty well can tell I think, but im better than I was.
I get how scary and uncertain the not knowing is, and how crazy it feels to question what happens in your own life. It can get better, but its shitty when you're in it. Go easy on yourself, none of this is easy.
benny
I get how scary and uncertain the not knowing is, and how crazy it feels to question what happens in your own life. It can get better, but its shitty when you're in it. Go easy on yourself, none of this is easy.
benny
Bey
Great progress, the blacking out and loss of memory is the worst aspect and it is at the nth degree of dissociation. Feelings of being detached from self is another form. You are conscious of the dissociation now and that is a move in the right direction. You will figure out an alternative coping mechanism and the states of dissociation will slowly fade.
Good luck
Kevin
Great progress, the blacking out and loss of memory is the worst aspect and it is at the nth degree of dissociation. Feelings of being detached from self is another form. You are conscious of the dissociation now and that is a move in the right direction. You will figure out an alternative coping mechanism and the states of dissociation will slowly fade.
Good luck
Kevin
Sven
Take a deep breath. Are you seeing a doctor or therapist. If so, talk to them. Try some new coping mechanisms--writing, breathing,yoga, counting. I use to keep a chart and I would knock off each minute, it kept me in the present and stopped the mind from wondering. It took away from my day, but it kept me here. I found writing in a journal also helped, once I had support I would pick up the phone and the other party would keep me talking. Overtime as I healed and accepted the abuse and adopted new coping mechanisms I was able to turn away (and like you, the dissociation was too natural because I used it for a lifetime)from resorting to dissociation.
Please find a way to cope and distract yourself from the pain and hurt you are feeling. It is these feelings that push you to find a way to cope. Keep venting here, we are here.
Kevin
Take a deep breath. Are you seeing a doctor or therapist. If so, talk to them. Try some new coping mechanisms--writing, breathing,yoga, counting. I use to keep a chart and I would knock off each minute, it kept me in the present and stopped the mind from wondering. It took away from my day, but it kept me here. I found writing in a journal also helped, once I had support I would pick up the phone and the other party would keep me talking. Overtime as I healed and accepted the abuse and adopted new coping mechanisms I was able to turn away (and like you, the dissociation was too natural because I used it for a lifetime)from resorting to dissociation.
Please find a way to cope and distract yourself from the pain and hurt you are feeling. It is these feelings that push you to find a way to cope. Keep venting here, we are here.
Kevin
concerned_husky
Registrant
(((Sven)))
Hang in there.
Hang in there.
Hi ((Sven))
How are you doing? Sending you support, Mike
How are you doing? Sending you support, Mike
Sven,
I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed and unsafe now. Not being in complete control of your emotions or your surroundings can be a real downer. But if you've found that running and reading are the only things that seem to help in this type situation MAYBE you could find time to squeeze in some small amounts of running or reading. Just a tiny bit here and there can really do an amazing job to smooth out the rough spots. If possible, running or reading at your lunch time, or if you have them, work breaks, maybe even before and after work.
You don't have to run a marathon or read a whole book for results, just whatever small amounts of time you can spend. You have to remember that your emotional and physical health are important to you if you plan to continue on recovery, and if you expect to shake this temporary feeling of dissociating. You know you can do it, you've dealt with all the stuff before.
Hang in there. {{{{{SVEN}}}}}
I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed and unsafe now. Not being in complete control of your emotions or your surroundings can be a real downer. But if you've found that running and reading are the only things that seem to help in this type situation MAYBE you could find time to squeeze in some small amounts of running or reading. Just a tiny bit here and there can really do an amazing job to smooth out the rough spots. If possible, running or reading at your lunch time, or if you have them, work breaks, maybe even before and after work.
You don't have to run a marathon or read a whole book for results, just whatever small amounts of time you can spend. You have to remember that your emotional and physical health are important to you if you plan to continue on recovery, and if you expect to shake this temporary feeling of dissociating. You know you can do it, you've dealt with all the stuff before.
Hang in there. {{{{{SVEN}}}}}
Sven
stop fighting it. I have learned the memories will not come back. Idrove myself crazy trying to remember. The doctors and T due to my degree of dissociation, fugues, told me to accept things may have happened but the memories are lost. Once I accepted this I moved forward and overtime dissociation is not a part of my life. I work at and cope differently.
Stop trying to remember focus on the here and now and the future. Take care of yourself.
Kevin
stop fighting it. I have learned the memories will not come back. Idrove myself crazy trying to remember. The doctors and T due to my degree of dissociation, fugues, told me to accept things may have happened but the memories are lost. Once I accepted this I moved forward and overtime dissociation is not a part of my life. I work at and cope differently.
Stop trying to remember focus on the here and now and the future. Take care of yourself.
Kevin
