Disappointed In Pope Francis on Sex Abuse

[KMCINVA]

I know many love him and he does reach out to the people. I believe one group he has forgotten are the victims of sexual abuse. In his comments yesterday he praised the bishop's for their handling of the abuse and was far more concerned with their and the Church's healing and not that of the victims. I was personally offended by his comments and believe the healing has to be focused on the victims and the church's healing will only come once they earnestly ask for the forgiveness of those abused.

It upset me to hear his words. Why has he refused to meet with victims/survivors during his visit. Over 6,400 priests have been accused, with the expected actual number being much higher. Over 100,000 victims have been identified, also with the actual number being higher due to non-reporting and confidential settlements. Where is justice,openness and acceptance of those who live every day with the memory of the abuse?

The Church and its fervent followers concern are with that of the finances, protecting their closed minded view of the reality of CSA within the church. Sadly in the end the words of the church and fervent followers only cause more pain, destruction and loss of life to the victims/survivors.

I was hoping for more honesty and transparency from Pope Francis. I have faced the Diocese and did not feel their denial of the abuse. They did not openly acknowledge but said some specifics that gave me confirmation of whom I was speaking about, my abuser. These were lay people, the people who oversee the implementation of programs. I have been asked to meet with the current bishop of the Diocese where the abuse occurred, but fear hearing face to face the obscuring of what happened to me. I fear this will take away the sense of validation I have received. Maybe I am too skeptical but believe the hierarchy of the clergy will prevail with their need for secrecy and to blur the truth to protect the church.

Hopefully, one day Pope Francis will have a frank and open dialogue on the abuse with the public and survivors.

 

[Bluedogone]

You are so right, Kevin.

I didn't think Pope Benedict would ever deal with the sexual abuse survivor over the Institution, but Pope Francis seems to have the heart of a pastor, and his new ideas and insights appeared to be more attuned to dealing head on with it. It's disappointing.

It's the same sad song - second verse. As Erik, and others, have said, one of the real tragedies of this whole sexual abuse thing is how many who could do something, who could speak out, instead turn away and do nothing. The Church, Penn State, Boy Scouts all institutions that seem to be managed by those who are careful to place public image and financial well being above well bring of the sexual abuse victims.

As they say, "It takes a long time to turn a ship around" and my hope, based on the changes Pope Francis has already made, that this isn't the last we'll hear about the subject.

 

[KMCINVA]

Pope Francis did say something that was encouraging about the abuse

"When we bring succor, then the victims are healed, and we have to hope that such crimes will never repeat themselves," However, for many the church, its parishioners and others have not brought assistance and support to many of the victims. I agree assistance and support are the only way the victim can heal. I found myself not healing after an extended time of struggling and receiving discouragement from people and once I found support my path to heal began to take hold. Even today, when discouragement or antagonism enter my life related to the abuse I slip, and currently have experienced slippage and the physical symptoms are evolving. I then lean on those who understand and live the meaning of "succor" (I admit I had to look up the definition).

I wait for the church to fully embrace "succor" so many can heal.

 

[tommyb]

(KMCINVA)


"Hopefully, one day Pope Francis will have a frank and open dialogue on the abuse with the public and survivors."

-- I feel he will do this, if only to show people who he is. I've noticed timing has a lot to do with his ... way. He chooses to say things at certain times so that they will have the most impact. I feel he will take on the child-sexual-abuses full-on, if only to show people what that looks like, that he can do it, not to mention give the press a lot to gossip about.

 

[Bluedogone]

The words of the Pope in the final US meeting were very heartening. I think he said what needed to be said, and should have been said long ago.

As tommyb said
[quote:tommyb]He chooses to say things at certain times so that they will have the most impact. I feel he will take on the child-sexual-abuses full-on,[/quote]

"Abuse victims are heard, and believed. Bishops and priests will be held accountable." That's Great, good to hear his words. But actions are much louder than words, and I hope this is a new, long overdue, direction.

 

[KMCINVA]

Yes I heard this and I agree. I am happy he came out with a more powerful statement that we are being heard. It is important that the hierarchy in the church acknowledge what we lived because of the priests and institution. It makes me believe his message will be heard and all the naysayers will have to abandon their pulpits of denouncing the victims. For me, this is very personal and now we need to hear it from the bishops, the diocese and the priest as well as the followers who have denounced, denied and accused the victims. They are secondary abusers to the victims for something no child should live. The high powered lawyers and councils should be called off and express their sorrow for the victims. I am more hopeful the church will move in this direction but I see many lay people who pronounce how Catholic they are and re-abuse victims, they sit on church councils and boards and when a victim speak they accuse the victim of being a liar and not realizing their ignorance is why this type of abuse continues. They are not Christian or Catholic in their treatment of those Jesus said should be embraced. They have learned this from the priests and others whose minds are shut.

I do hope the Pope's words are powerful and opens the minds of all, so victims can heal because that is the only way the church can heal.

 

[KMCINVA]

The Pope remarked in Philadelphia of the abuse victims:

have become true heralds of mercy. Humbly, we owe each of them our gratitude for their value as they have had to suffer terrible abuse.

On his return trip to Italy he clarified his comments made to the bishops:

"express my compassion to them because a terrible thing happened and many of them have suffered because they did not know and when it came out they suffered a great deal"..."It's a terrible thing and the words of comfort were not to say: Don't worry that was nothing'...no, no, no. But it was so bad that I imagined you cried hard..that was the sense of what I meant"

I know the latter quote he was referring to Bishops here, but it made me reflect back on my life, how much I cried and prayed to die because there was no one to share what happened to me. He was right when it came out I suffered a great deal more at the hands of others who were unable to see the damage done from the abuse and their words and actions.

I appreciate and believe his comments that he believes we have value as survivor. To hear someone say I have value means so much. For so long I felt valueless, without worth until I met people who saw value. To hear him speak as no other religious except the parish priest who took me to the place of the abuse so I could bury my Mom, a Jesuit we met by chance one day when visiting my old university and another at the time I was talking with the Diocese has spoken about the value we are because of the abuse we suffered makes me feel better about myself. As I wrote this I realized part of the church has reached out.

I have taken solace in his words and believe he does understand the damage, pain and hurt we suffered. When he first spoke I felt he was dismissing the hurt of the victim/survivor.

Even though my practicing as a Catholic in a ritual way is limited these days because of the institution and treatment by lay people who profess their Catholicism on their sleeves while damaging and destroying those trying to heal and recover from something they know little about. I still hold some of the beliefs but one is their a God, is sometimes questioned as I ask why would one of his so called soldiers do such a thing. I try to answer but I am left with some doubt. I do have moments where I believe, so I guess I am on some cusp. I hope his words will help me to clarify my beliefs.