Welcome... for me the memories were lost for the first fifty years of my life though I'd observed some things in therapy when I was younger that I simply couldn't accept as sexual abuse. It can be hard to accept those things happened to us... but thirteen years is a long time. I know, however, from reading what others share on this website that not everyone sees only horror in what happened to them. Sometimes the trauma came from a relationship that was important on some level. I think this is one of the reasons that unpacking the residue of trauma can be so confusing. I interpret your username to suggest you would be familiar with the metaphor I sometimes use... debriding a wound... cutting away the damaged flesh and exposing the wound to air so it can heal. That seems to be what we're doing here.
There are no rules here, except perhaps being kind to one another... so take your time. Explore the website and if you feel inspired, join the conversation. You will doubtless find kindred spirits here. You're not alone with any thing you've experienced, either during the years when trauma(s) were happening, or later in life as you grappled with memories of those events. Men here know trauma from first hand experience.
I'm glad you found us and introduced yourself. All the best on your healing journey... you'll find a great deal of support here.