Directions?

Welcome, @Cmbtdoc0113. Share when you're ready. There's no hurry, totally at your own pace around here.

Thirteen years is a long time, I'm sorry that happened to you.

Have you told anyone irl yet?

Mine started and ended at age 8, and after it ended I was forced to ignore it at the time, so I worked really hard to forget about it until earlier this year when it exploded on me.

We're here to help each other with all the scary, powerful, and ugly emotions associated with CSA.

Maybe start there, with expressing how you're feeling, and what you're dealing with on a day to day?

There's no need to disclose to get help here. There are some really great men here.
 

Cmbtdoc0113

New Registrant
Yes. Small stuff. My people know about it. I have been recommended for therapy for it. I mean I still don't know. I'm just kinda looking over the wall. I haven't found anyone I can talk to. I understand why but people don't get it, want to get it.
 
Yeah, for us men/boys it's difficult because even to this day people believe it doesn't happen to us, or it is no big deal. But we know better!
 
Welcome... for me the memories were lost for the first fifty years of my life though I'd observed some things in therapy when I was younger that I simply couldn't accept as sexual abuse. It can be hard to accept those things happened to us... but thirteen years is a long time. I know, however, from reading what others share on this website that not everyone sees only horror in what happened to them. Sometimes the trauma came from a relationship that was important on some level. I think this is one of the reasons that unpacking the residue of trauma can be so confusing. I interpret your username to suggest you would be familiar with the metaphor I sometimes use... debriding a wound... cutting away the damaged flesh and exposing the wound to air so it can heal. That seems to be what we're doing here.

There are no rules here, except perhaps being kind to one another... so take your time. Explore the website and if you feel inspired, join the conversation. You will doubtless find kindred spirits here. You're not alone with any thing you've experienced, either during the years when trauma(s) were happening, or later in life as you grappled with memories of those events. Men here know trauma from first hand experience.

I'm glad you found us and introduced yourself. All the best on your healing journey... you'll find a great deal of support here.
 
Welcome. Hopefully you can find some help, comfort, compassion, here. You are not alone in your problems. We all suffer similar issues.
 

davids1

Registrant
Welcome you are in the right place. There is so much support here for you, take your time and when you feel comfortable sharing what YOU want to share then share it. My little boy started popping up awhile back in a way I wasn't expecting. That little boy wanted to recreate the sexual scenario with my uncle. I didn't like it and it ruled my life for awhile, freaked my ex-partner out and has caused me a lot of grief. But because of that happening it made me get into therapy again to deal with all the issues around my CSA. I was full of fear having to actually come out and say the words instead of being vague about it. I have read in the place that I am not the only that has done this, so I don't feel so alone. Again welcome, I hope you find what you are looking for.
 

MO-Survivor

Registrant
Yes. Small stuff. My people know about it. I have been recommended for therapy for it. I mean I still don't know. I'm just kinda looking over the wall. I haven't found anyone I can talk to. I understand why but people don't get it, want to get it.
@Cmbtdoc0113,

Welcome. No - people don't get it or want to get it. But guys here who are responding to you do. Keep looking over the wall, interact here in threads or private message people you think might be good to talk to. Sometimes it's easier in PMs vs. here in larger, public forums. Whatever works for you, but I would encourage you to stick with some level of interaction here, with people you know who will listen & understand, or (best) with a therapist who has experience with trauma and childhood sexual abuse (esp. with men).

If you read enough here, you will see a common cry: "I can't believe I lived this way for xx years before dealing with this," or, "I wish I hadn't waiting until I was 50, 60, 70 years old to start to deal with this." I expressed this regret with my therapist today, actually. My T did a nice job of helping me think bigger picture than just the stuff I'm addressing now in order to help me see that healing has happened in areas of my life in the past.

So... now that you've posted and reached out, please stick with it as you are able. Not all at once - but in small bites that you are able to manage without being overwhelmed. You will be glad you did.
 

The Bluefoot

Registrant
Cmbtdoc0113
Welcome 13 years is a long time, my abuse was age 6 to 17 1/2 I have lived in mental hell since. Only in the past 8 months Have i started working on changing that. and found this group less then 3 months ago which made a big change in my life for the better. You see we are all here to help. Stink with it you soon find someone to talk to and share with, and you be helping each other in no time. Maybe PM;'s are better for you I have made 2 friends here there way. Thou I prefer large forums to do my posting. I love feed back but I know its not for all. I spend 1 hour each morning reading who is new and 2 hours each night answers to stuff I post. or talks with people. Its been great for me. Soon you find what works for you. Stink with it . Love is here.
 
Top